He reaches out for one of my hands, his large one dwarfing mine as he strokes the back with his thumb. “No, Joie, fuck no. That’s not what I meant. I’m?” He shakes his head and swallows hard. “I’ll sleep in the bed with you. It sounds a thousand times better than that couch. It’s just... I want you to push me away if I roll over and get too close to you. Okay? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
He’s confusing me. “Okay. I’ll do that if it will have you sleeping in here.” I can’t figure out if he’s scared I’m going to make a move on him, and that’s the last thing in the world he wants, or if he’s scared he’ll do something to me in his sleep. I don’t say anything as I get under the covers, glad to be chain-free. He turns off the light. With no street lights to shine in the place, it’s pitch black and so quiet. I didn’t realize it last night, with my thoughts going crazy, but it’s almost too quiet and creepy.
He hardly makes any sound as he moves around the bed and gets under the covers on the other side. His weight sinks it some and I stiffen. I don’t dare make a sound. I want him to be able to fall asleep next to me. I snuggle under the quilt and comforter, but I long to get close to him.
An owl hoots outside and I stiffen more, my gaze going in the direction of the window. I can’t make out anything, but I half expect glowing eyes to appear in the dark. Bears aren’t the only predators that roam these woods. I want to ask him to hold me, but I promised him we wouldn’t touch.
Taking a deep breath in, I clench my eyes shut. If I hold them closed for long enough eventually I’ll fall asleep.
“Joie.”
I know I told him to not call me that, but I really do love it. I lick my lips. “Yeah?”
“You’re safe, I promise I won’t touch you in any way.”
I don’t know if it’s the darkness and not being able to see anything outside; the moon has decided to disappear behind a cloud. But the courage I’ve been dying to have for days now suddenly rises through my throat. “What if I want you to? I’m scared of darkness like this and not being able to see anything. Could you please hold me, at least until I fall asleep?” It’s not much, but if he does it I will be the happiest woman to ever live.
I swear he tenses next to me. “That’s what you want?”
I nod and realize he can’t see me. “Yes. Please.”
After a long moment, the box spring squeaks as he rolls over. A strong arm finds my middle and pulls me to him until my back touches his chest and his chin is above my head. My eyes roll as I take in the feeling of finally getting something I’ve wanted since I was young. When my fantasies were still innocent, they would be like this. Him holding me while I sleep. In my twelve-year-old brain, there couldn’t be anything better than just spooning with the guy I had a crush on.
Now, it’s the second-best thing to what I want, and I’ll take it.
Chapter Thirteen
Cason
It’s been five days.Five days of bliss and torture. It’s getting so hard to control my wants and desires when I wake up with her in my arms. My automatic reaction is to wake her up with kisses or more. God, trying to keep the evidence of my morning wood from her has been a feat. The second I get out of bed she’s awake, but once I have a full hard-on from breathing her in all night, it’s near possible to make it die down without something to aid it.
I love falling asleep with her in my arms. It’s the best sleep I’ve had in a long time. She keeps the dreams at bay. It’s waking up next to her that’s torture. I usually wait for her to get up first and go to the bathroom. It gives me enough time to tuck myself in a way that will keep her from seeing it as she comes out and I go in, then I take care of it.
Every morning I’ve had to remind myself I have a promise to keep. That my father and her father would probably both kill me if I ever laid a hand on her or told her how I feel.
It’s been hard enough to come up with a story for Michail on why I haven’t found her or the man who took her yet when I’m supposed to be the best. It’s been nearly a week. My dad will be here soon to ask questions. She wants me to lie and say I almost have her won over, but that she’s still fighting me a little, but can I take another week of this and keep myself in line. I’m not so sure I can.
At the same time, I’m savoring every moment that I get to hold her. I know this won’t ever happen again once we have to leave this little bubble. Even if I could make it happen, we can’t stay here for the rest of our lives. I might be willing to hand the business over to Porter for her, but I can’t ask her to give up her bakery. That shop means the world to her and she loves putting smiles on people’s faces with sweet treats.
I stroke the skin over her arm with my thumb and watch the side of her face as she stirs from a dream. She stretches and nearly hits my erection with her ass. I have to close my eyes to keep from nutting then and there. Days of blue balls and quick unsatisfying releases have ruined me.
She glances back at me and smiles. “Good morning.”
I could get used to this so easily. Waking up to her every morning in my arms and looking happy would be the way I want to live my life.
At this point, she normally gets up to go use the toilet, but instead of getting out of the bed, she rolls over to face me. My heartbeat thunders in my ears. I’ve been in a ton of stressful situations but this by far takes all of them for first place. She moves her legs and I will my cock to die down so she doesn’t feel it.
Her leg brushes it. I hope she’s innocent enough to not realize what it is. Her eyes widen.
Fuck. She knows.
She stares at me for a second. I hold my breath, waiting for her to bolt from the bed and call me a pervert. That she’s ready to go back to her father, and she never wants to see me again. I’m supposed to be like a brother to her, not a horny bastard.
Her leg comes up again and she brushes against it, this time on purpose. I move to get out of the bed, I can’t take this. Her hand reaches out to grab hold of my shirt and keep me from getting up. I freeze, looking from it to her.
The hand moves from my chest to under the covers before her fingers brush over my cock through my sweats. I tense. “Joie, don’t.”
Her hand stills. “Do you actually want me to stop?”
