My hips answer for me, bucking against her hand. I growl. “Fuck. No. But we can’t do this. We shouldn’t do this.”
She leans in close, her lips brush against my jaw over my beard that has started to fill in nicely. “Cason, I want you. I’ve always wanted you. Please, even if it’s just once.”
My head spins. I think I might be dreaming still, one of those lucid dreams. There’s no way this can be real. I’ve wanted to hear those words from her mouth for a year now.
Her hand moves up to the band of my sweats and pulls them and my underwear down until they are under my cock. Her fingers curl around my shaft and my hips buck.
“Josie, we can’t.”
Her hand pumps me slowly. “Who’s going to know? It’s the two of us here, alone. In the middle of the woods. We’ll be the only ones that know. I’m not going to tell my father if you don’t. It can be our secret.” She leans in and her warm lips brush against my jaw. “And if you’ll have me, maybe we can meet here in secret a few times a year. It’s not fully what I want, but it’s what I’ll take.”
I groan as her thumb finds the pearl of precome at the tip and swirls it around the head. I glance over at her. “What do you want?”
This can’t be real.
She kisses more of my neck, scraping her teeth along my jugular. I didn’t expect this kind of forward behavior from her, it has to be because she just woke up and doesn’t know what she’s doing. “I want to be your girlfriend, and if I’m honest, I want more than that. Being here with you the last couple of days has been like a dream I don’t want to wake up from. I know we’ll need to eventually but before that happens, I want to have sex with you.”
That’s it. I can’t take this, dream or not. This can’t happen. Our families made a promise. I’m the older one, I need to keep it for the both of us.
I get up from the bed, forcing her to let go of me. There’s only one way to make sure I don’t do anything.
“Cason, what are you doing? I’m sorry, I just thought it meant you might want me, too. I won’t touch you like that again.”
I pull my clothes up and stuff myself back in my pants and shake my head. “This isn’t your fault, Joie. Don’t blame yourself.”
I hurry from the bedroom before I’ll lose all resolve. I can’t give into wanting her, my father will disown me. Hers will kill me. The only way to stop anything from happening is to take me out of the equation. Going to the kitchen I reach into an alcove under the stove and pull out one of my guns.
“Cason, what are you doing?” I turn to face her with a gun in my hand. For once in my life, my hands shake with a gun in them. I’m scared. No, I’m terrified. I know hell awaits me, but I don’t see any other way out of this. I press the gun to my head and her eyes widen. She titters on her feet, unsure if she should move closer. “Cason, no!” Her eyes brim with tears as her chest heaves with panic. “Please. No. I’ll never touch you again. I swear on my life. Don’t do this.”
I swallow hard as tears also course down my cheeks. I don’t want this, but it needs to happen. It’s the only way to make everything right again. “I have to. If I don’t, I’ll forever fuck everything up for you. For our families. I don’t have the strength to stay away from you, Josie.” I cock the gun. “I love you.”
She rushes forward and puts her hands on my chest. She stares up at me with her big blue eyes. “If you’re going to kill yourself then you need to take me with you. Because I rather die than live one day without you, Cason Bancroft. I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve, hell, younger than that. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to hold me while we slept. To make love to me. To fuck my brains out while your hand is on my throat. I don’t give a flying fuck about a promise two dead men made before our grandparents were even born. If they don’t want us to be together, then let’s runaway. I can start a bakery anywhere and you still went to college for business, we could run one together. I don’t care what we do.” She stands on her toes and reaches for the gun. “As long as I’m with you, I’ll be happy.”
I stare down at her. I can’t traumatize her more. I un-cock the gun and turn on the safety before tossing it away from us. It clatters on the floor. My arms wrap around her. Holding her for a moment, I pick her up so she doesn’t have to strain on her toes, and crash my lips to hers.
She moans into my mouth as her hands go around my neck. My hands cradle her ass and I groan as my tongue parts her lips and delves hungrily into her mouth. After all this time, I finally get to taste her. Her legs hook around my waist, giving her more leverage to rub her core through her sweats and over my erection.
I’m so close to coming, but I’m not going to let a single drop of a climax spill before I rock her world with my tongue. I don’t want her first time to be a quickie. I need to know if she’s a virgin. I need to know how to handle this. She might want me to take her hard and rough, but if she’s never had a cock in her, then we’re going to need warm up for her to be able to take me in
I carry her back to the bedroom, never breaking our kiss; our tongues swirl, and she lets me take the lead. It takes all my willpower to part from her beautiful lips as I set her down on the bed gently. I kiss her forehead. “Baby, I need you to tell me something, and don’t lie, I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”
Her full lips look swollen as she sucks the bottom one between her lips. Her eyes have darkened to an almost ocean blue. “What is it? I’ll be honest. I promise.” She sits up a little as I stand between her legs.
I can’t help it, I reach down and cup her chin with my fingers, running my thumb over her lips. Her gaze never leaves mine as she takes my thumb between her lips and sucks. God, I can’t wait for the moment when I can see her pretty mouth around my cock. Everything in due time, if she sucks me right now, I’m going to blow my load down her throat. I’ve been hard for an hour already and I rather come with her velvet walls squeezing the life out of me.
“Are you a virgin?”
I’m certain her whole body turns pink in the morning sunlight. Her mouth lets go of my thumb and she takes in a deep breath before she nods. “Yes. Does that turn you off? I know some guys don’t like virgins. I know some stuff that I’ve seen in porn. I’m not entirely clueless.”
My cock twitches. Fucking hell, she’s untouched, just like I thought. “You haven’t done anything, no oral or anything else with a guy?”
She licks her lips. “I made out with a boy once when I was younger. I didn’t like it, I wanted him to be you. You kiss so much better.”
Fucking hell, she’s trying to make me blow my load before we even get anywhere. A rumble comes from deep in my chest as I lean over her, bracing my arms on the bed. I capture her lips in another deep kiss. I nip at her lower lip, pulling it with my teeth. She moans as her fingers go into my hair and to the back of my head.
I kiss my way along her jaw and down to her neck. I want to leave marks there, to let everyone know she’s mine, but I doubt she has something to cover them with and my dad will be here tomorrow with more food for us. If he saw those, and they look like fresh marks, he’ll know what we’ve been up to and I’ll be a dead man.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t leave marks where he can’t see them. A smirk pulls at my lips. She shivers as I scrape my teeth along her pulse.
