I nodded. “Yeah. And I didn’t handle it well. I was so confused. Just torn over what to do. I loved him, Sam. Loved him like—” Tears gathered and threatened to choke me. “I think he was probably it for me. But after all you’d given up for me, I couldn’t just run off and leave you holding the bag.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I thought Flynn and I could work it out. I figured he might be a little upset, but I was counting on him understanding. We’d never really had a fight before, you know? But that night, when I told him I couldn’t leave, not then at least, he exploded. He told me he wasn’t getting stuck in this town, and if I didn’t love him enough to leave with him—” The horrible things we’d both said that night echoed in my head. “Well, it was bad. He stormed out, and I cried, but at the back of my mind, I never thought we wouldn’t make it up. I expected him to come back the next day, and we’d figure it all out. But he didn’t call, and he didn’t answer when I called. Finally, Reenie came over and told me he’d gone.”
Sam drew in a ragged breath. “I wish I’d known, Ali. I wish you’d told me.”
I managed a smile. “You know what, Sam? All these years, I’ve wished I’d told you, too. I kept thinking what I would’ve done different. But lately, I look at the farm, and what you and I’ve done together, and I’m not sorry. These were good years. I know they were hard, and I know we both worked ourselves to the damn bone, like Dad used to say. But I wouldn’t trade them.”
He nodded, and I thought maybe he was afraid to speak. I gave him a few minutes before I went on.
“Are you going to propose to Meghan?”
He jerked his head up, surprise etched on his face. “What? Where did that come from?”
I smiled. “We’re talking about change and about holding onto what’s important, right? Come on, brother mine. It’s no secret you’re hung up on her, and she’s so crazy in love with you, it’s almost sickening. She’s moving in here come June, right? I figure it’s just a matter of time before you make it official. You and I need to talk about what happens after you do that.”
He had the grace to look sheepish as he scratched the back of his head. “I was planning to ask her right after she graduates. I already talked to Jude and Logan, and I was going to discuss it with you, too. Just didn’t seem to be a good time to bring it up.” He gazed at me from under drooped eyelids. “I was scared, if you want to know the truth.”
“Scared of me? Well, hell, of course you were.” I teased him a little and then sobered. “Change is scary. It’s one thing to have your girlfriend here on weekends, hanging out and having fun. It’s another thing altogether to bring your wife into the house where your sister’s been running the show for almost ten years. We need to be realistic. I think it’s time for Bridge and me to find our own place.”
Sam flinched. “No. That’s exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t live in your own house. We own all of this together. Nothing’s going to change that.”
I rubbed his arm. “You’re right, nothing’s going to change that. Not even us living in different houses, like most brothers and sisters do.” I paused, searching for the right words. “Sam, if I’d told you on my graduation day that I wanted to leave with Flynn, that we planned to move away and go to college together, would you’ve told me to stay? Would you have let me make that sacrifice for you?”
He shook his head. “Of course not.”
“Then don’t you see this is the same thing? I’m not going to stand in the way of you and Meghan being happy. I want you to have the best chance you can to make a family, together. I’m not abandoning you, Sam. Bridget and I’ll find a place close by, and I’ll still work the stand. We’ll be here to help you with planting and the harvest, and we’ll come for dinner every Sunday night, like in the old days when the whole family gathered at the farm. This is how it’s supposed to be.” I stood up, swaying just a little.
“You okay?” Sam reached for me, but I brushed him off.
“Fine. Just a little light-headed. I think I’ll grab a nap before Bridget gets home.” I started for the steps, and then hesitated. “Hey, Sam? You planning to give Meghan Mom’s engagement ring?”
His voice was gravelly as he answered me. “Yeah. I was thinking of it. I think Mom would like that. Is it okay with you?”
“More than okay. Exactly as it should be.”
“WHAT’S WRONG, DADDY? DO you still feel sick?” Bridget’s small forehead wrinkled in concern as she looked up at me from the back seat of the truck.
“I’m good, honeybunch. Just the bumps are making my stomach feel a little rough.” I clamped my teeth together as the Chevy bobbed up and down on the Reynolds’ driveway. We rounded the bend, and I pulled to the rear of the house. Somehow in the last weeks, I’d fallen back into the old habit of parking here and going into the kitchen.
As soon as we came to a halt and I turned off the ignition, Bridget unbuckled and opened her door, flying out of the car and up the back steps. “Mommy! I’m home.” I followed her at a much more sedate pace.
“Hey there, sunshine.” Sam met us at the door. “I’m about to walk over to the stand to help Cassie close up. Want to tag along?”
“Yeah, but where’s Mommy?” Bridget peered past her uncle’s legs.
“She’s on the porch, resting. She was feeling a little sick this morning, so she stayed home.”
“That’s funny. Daddy was sick this morning, too. He had a really bad headache.”
Sam smirked at me. “I can only imagine. Well, c’mon, pipsqueak. Let’s get moving.” He held the door open behind him, fastening his eyes on me as Bridget scampered down the steps. “You can go on through the house. You probably want to talk to my sister.”
Shit, no.Talking to Ali today was not on my list of top ten of things I wanted to do. But Sam’s face wasn’t asking, it was telling, so I just nodded and walked through the door.
I went into the silent kitchen and past the living room, opening the front screen door. Ali sat on the swing, her feet curled up under her as she stared out into the yard. She was wearing sweats and big T-shirt, and with her hair down her back in a braid, she looked about fifteen again.
God, I wanted her.
