The realization took me by surprise, which was stupid, given how many times the sight, thought or memory of her had given me a painfully hard erection over the last weeks. Yeah, I knew my body still reacted to her. But this was different. Iwantedher. I wanted to gather her into my arms, feel her head on my shoulder and her breath against my neck. I wanted to lay her out, with care and tenderness, and kiss her lips until they were swollen and every one of her heartbeats belonged to me. I wanted to laugh with her about all the funny things our perfect daughter said. I wasn’t sure about anything else in my life right now, but this I knew with perfect clarity.
Ali turned her head a little to see me. “Hey.” Her voice was soft and husky, as it used to be after we made love. I cleared my throat and adjusted my pants as subtly as I could.
“Hey. Okay if I come out?”
She held out her hand in a be-my-guest gesture. “Sure. Have a seat.”
I sank into the deep wicker chair and stretched out my legs. “So how’re you feeling today?”
She laughed, though there was little humor in it. “Better now. I was thinking the swing wasn’t such a great idea when I first came out here, but it feels okay. This morning was rough. I asked Meghan to shoot me.”
I grinned. “I offered to pay Alex to hold a pillow over my face. He wasn’t game. Said he made enough money without resorting to murder for hire.”
“Did you go home with him?” There was hint of vulnerability in her voice that made me want to sweep her onto my lap.
“Yeah. Wasn’t the plan, but he said it was really late by the time we left The Road Block, and I was practically passing out, so he was afraid to take me back to my mom’s. He texted her first thing this morning and drove me back after breakfast.” I grimaced. “Breakfast made by his mom and accompanied with a side of loud scolding about being old enough to know better.”
Her lips curved up into a smile. “I lucked out. No one here gave me a hard time. Just a little teasing.”
“Well, as far as I remember, you left before I did. And I hear things got kind of wild even before that.”
Ali pulled her braid forward and twisted it around her finger. I saw a teasing gleam in her eye. “I was there for the concert. I mean, I wasn’t completely sure it really happened when I woke up this morning, but Meghan assured me you rocked the house.”
“Oh, God.” I dropped my head back, screwing my eyes closed. “Yeah, I hear I was quite the hit. I already called Mason this afternoon and apologized. He’s a decent guy. Just laughed and said if his bar couldn’t stand up to a pair of boots, it wasn’t worth its weight.”
“Maybe you missed your calling. Ever think about giving up your camera for a cowboy hat and honkytonks?”
“Nah, I think I’ll stick with the quiet life.” I lifted my head and regarded her. She’d dropped one foot to the porch floor and was slowly pushing the swing back and forth. “So. Trent Wagner?”
“Oh, my God.” Ali covered her face. “Don’t remind me.”
“So there’s nothing between you two?” I had to ask it, even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer.
“Trent and me? Stab me, shoot me, flay me. No. He was just . . . convenient last night.”
“Good.” I spoke the single word with enough meaning that her eyes flew to my face. I held her gaze without looking away until she did. The pink tinge on her cheeks gave me an unexplainable happy.
“You seemed kind of cozy with the blonde. Not that I was paying attention or anything. Trent said he’d, ah . . . known her.” I couldn’t miss the arch tone.
“Yeah, I guess she was a freshman when you and I were seniors. Said she’d always had a crush on me.” I rubbed my hand over my knee. “She also said everyone knew I only had eyes for one girl back then.”
This time, I couldn’t miss the blush. “That was a long time ago.”
“Some things don’t change.” I bounced my leg up and down, needing an outlet for the nervous energy that had suddenly filled my body. “Ali, can I ask you something? Not because I’m trying to dig up painful crap or anything. I just have to know.”
Her mouth tightened, but she nodded. “Okay.”
“Why Craig?”
She swallowed hard and turned her face away from me. “Flynn, I don’t . . .” She worried the corner of her lip between her teeth, silent for a moment. “All right. That’s an explanation I owe you. I told you, after you left town, I was a mess. I didn’t want to do anything. Alex would come over and sit with me, and let me cry on his shoulder, but he was worried about me. He talked me into leaving the house, finally. A bunch of kids from our class were hanging out at the river, just drinking and talking . . . you know the deal. I sat on the hood of Alex’s car, not talking to anyone. It still hurt too much.”
She closed her eyes as a single tear leaked out, running down her cheek. I wanted to wipe it away, but I wasn’t sure she’d want my touch just now.
“Then Craig came over and sat next to me. He didn’t make me talk. He didn’t try to get me to join in. He just sat there. And then the next night, he came over to the house, and we sat . . . here. On the porch. And he still didn’t make me talk. I mean, he talked to me, and I listened, but he didn’t get upset when I was quiet. He was just an ear. A shoulder, I guess. I was so lonely.”
I thought about Craig. We’d been friends all during high school; not as close as Alex and me, but we’d hung out regularly, played together on the football team and gone to the same parties. In the back of my mind, I guess I’d always known Craig had a thing for Ali, but I also knew he’d never act on it. Until I gave him a huge open door to walk through.
“I knew people were talking about us. A couple of girls made some snide comments when I was in town, about how fast I jumped from one guy to another. I didn’t care, because I knew the truth. There wasn’t anything romantic between Craig and me. He was just . . . there.
