“Yep.” I swallowed and carefully closed my computer, setting it on the end table. My skin was buzzing, and the air between us felt somehow thicker. I wasn’t sure what to say: should I pretend everything was fine, jump up and greet him with a hug that might ease the bruised feelings between us? Or should I stay stiff and unyielding, letting him make the first move ... if he was going to do that?
I was in serious danger of overthinking this before my subconscious jumped into action, circumventing the rational, mostly sane part of my brain.
“You left without saying good-bye.” The words burst out of my mouth before I could stop them. I knew I sounded like a petulant child, but I couldn’t help it.
“I told you I was going away and probably wouldn’t be back until today.” Nicky moved closer to my chair and laid a hand on my shoulder, his touch tentative. “I didn’t just disappear. I didn’t run away.”
“But ...” I swallowed hard. “You didn’t kiss me good-bye. I woke up, and you were gone. I felt like you’d left me.” As he began to speak, I added, “It doesn’t matter that you told me you were going, or that it seemed perfectly reasonable to you. For me, Nicky, it felt as though—” I drew in a ragged breath. “Like you’d hit me where I had a particularly tender spot. It made me think of ... before.”
“You mean, it reminded you of when we were apart for those six months?” Sitting down on the side of my chair, he slipped his arm around my shoulders and tugged me closer, pulling me against his warm and comforting body. “Ky, not to put too fine a point on it, but I didn’t leave you back then. You ran back home.”
“After you told me to go!” I shook off his arm. “That day, when we left the luncheon, you were ... cold. You dropped me at Alex’s apartment, and you went away. What else could I think but that you wanted me to leave? That was self-preservation.”
He was silent, his expression impossible to read as he stared into my face. And then his eyes closed, and he exhaled long.
“You’re not wrong,” he admitted. “And neither of us was completely at fault or completely blameless that day. I should have talked to you, trusted you ... and I did push you away. I know I said it before, but still—I’m sorry, sweetheart. I never wanted to hurt you. I thought I was being selfless and protecting you.”
“You don’t have to protect me, Nicky. I love you, and I love that you want to take care of me, but I’m not a child. I don’t need you to keep me safe.” I shifted and wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning into his chest. “That doesn’t mean I don’t need you, because I do. I need you to be my husband and love me. I need you to be my friend and listen to me. And I need you to be my lover and worship my body every night.” I peeked up at him. “Wasn’t there something in the marriage ceremony about that? ‘With my body, I thee worship’, I think it was.”
“I will worship your body with everything I am, for always.” Nicky tipped my chin up and rubbed my lower lip with his thumb. “Everything in my world revolves aroundyou, Ky. Every decision I make is about you, about us. I only want to see your smile and to know that you’re happy.” He dropped a light kiss on my lips. “When I left on Friday morning, it was very early, and you were sleeping so soundly. So peacefully, after how upset you’d been the night before. I kissed you and tucked the quilt around you, and I whispered that I loved you. I promise, I wasn’t running away or skulking off in a huff.”
“Always kiss me good-bye, Nicky.” I reached up to frame his face with one hand. “Always kiss me good-night. Even if we have a lifetime together—a hundred years or more—I don’t want to miss a single one of your kisses. Promise?”
His blue eyes filled with tenderness. “I promise, sweetheart.” Sweeping one hand over my hair, he added, “I could try to make up for the ones I missed. If you wanted.”
I smiled up at him. “I want.”
His mouth came over mine again, seeking me, tasting me, and I opened to him, giving him full access to explore, his tongue delving between my lips to stroke against my own. Twisting, I pressed against him, needing to be closer, until I couldn’t feel where I ended and Nicky began.
“Ky,” he murmured, his voice muffled against my lips as he gathered me up and lifted me into his arms. “Let’s go upstairs so I can worship your body properly.”
Laughing softly, I hitched myself higher and twined my legs around his hips, wriggling when he palmed my ass with an intimate squeeze.
“I’m ready to worship yours right back. Take me to bed, Nicky. Love me.”
His head bowed to trail hot kisses down the column of my throat.
“Always.”
“So what did you do with your weekend on your own?” Nicky brushed his fingertips over my upper arm, making me shiver. I was wrapped in his embrace as we lay together in our bed, the lights low. I was more relaxed than I’d been in a week.
“Mmmmmm.” I snuggled closer, burrowing into my husband’s broad, muscled chest. “Well, at first, I was going to hang out with Daisy, but Harold said she was away, at a house party or something. So I sat around sulking for a little bit, had a pity party for a table of one ... then I talked to my mom. I ended up going over to Tottenham and working in the garden’s office.”
When Nicky’s forehead creased, I added in explanation, “I couldn’t work in the garden itself on Friday, because they had a guest group in, and they weren’t expecting me. I would’ve been a distraction. Instead, Petey and I holed up at his desk and put together the plan for spring. I helped him assemble the purchase orders for all of the supplies we’ll need, and we even filled out the calendar, setting up when we’re going to integrate the new groups. I was extremely productive.”
“So it sounds.” He shifted, rolling to his side and propping his head on his elbow as he gazed down at me. “I’m sorry that Daisy wasn’t around, and I’m sorry that you had to have your pity party alone.” Bending over my face, he kissed my lips. “And I’m very sorry that we quarreled before I left. I didn’t mean to be so ... high-handed with you, sweetheart. The truth is that I wasn’t happy about having to go to Winchester at the last minute. I was still disgruntled about the way things went in Scotland. And unfortunately, you bore the brunt of my frustration. That wasn’t right.”
“Thank you for all that ... and I appreciate it. You weren’t the only one in the wrong, though. I got my feelings hurt because you didn’t tell me about the security issues in Scotland. And then I was disappointed about us missing our weekend away. Turns out that even though I wasn’t enthusiastic about moving, I’m excited to see the estate.”
“I’m glad to hear that, because I called Cousin Anders, and he’s agreed to host us next weekend. I cleared our calendars, and we’ll leave on Friday morning.”
I gave a little squeal of delight. “Really? And you promise nothing’s going to pop up at the last minute to stop us from going?”
“Kyra, I can’t absolutely promise that, because things happen. But inasmuch as it’s within my power, nothing will stop us. Does that sound reasonable?” Nicky brushed my hair away from my face.
“More than.” Turning my head, I pressed my lips to his pec, earning a grunt of appreciation. “I can’t wait. While I was doing the planning with Petey, I had all these ideas for the gardens at our new house. I hadn’t realized before how much I’m going enjoy having my space—my own land.” I flicked at the flat disc of his nipple, smiling at his answering swift inhale. “Ourown land, I mean.”
“It’ll be wonderful to have our own little oasis of peace within all of this ... turmoil and craziness.” Nicky combed his fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp and making me almost purr with pleasure.
