“And just what do you expect me to wear to work this afternoon? The same clothes I did yesterday?” I pointed to the pile next to the bed. “They’re a mess. And call me crazy, but I have a feeling that if I stroll into St. Agnes wearing wrinkled clothes that I had on the day before after having gotten out of Dr. Girard’s car with him, people might put two and two together and start to talk.”
“So let them. I don’t have any regrets, and I don’t need to keep you a secret.” He stood up next to me, still completely nude, and leaned down to kiss me.
“Well, as much as I appreciate that, Deacon, I’m not quite ready to have people talking about me. Again.” I thought about the papers and online reports from earlier this summer and felt a little sick all over again. Pushing that memory away, I bent over to retrieve my skirt and camisole. “Oh, and there is the little matter of my panties, which you might remember shredding last night out on your sofa. I might be a modern, liberated woman, but my mama would be horrified at the idea of me walking around the hospital all day without my underwear.”
Deacon smirked. “It wouldn’t makemeunhappy to know that you were commando under your very proper skirt.”
“Gah. Men.” I wiggled into my skirt and then pulled on the cami, bending over to settle the girls into position on the built-in shelf bra. Deacon watched me, one eyebrow and his cock both rising.
I pointed at him. “No. Not now. You—” I tapped his chest. “—have work. And you—” I gestured lower on his body. “—have done enough damage for one night. Behave, both of you.”
“You’re going to give him a complex. Don’t you know how harmful rejection is to the psyche?”
“Deacon Fox Girard, your cock does not have a psyche. Stop trying to feed me some line.” I raked my fingers through my mess of hair. “Go get in the shower. I’m going to grab my shoes from the living room and sneak out of here. With any luck, your neighbors are sleeping in today.”
“Don’t I get a kiss goodbye?” He leaned against the doorjamb just inside his bedroom, an appealing expression on his face. Who could resist that look?
“Justa kiss,” I reiterated. “No hands, no—” I narrowed my eyes at his still-stiff dick. “No trying anything funny.”
“I promise. Just a kiss. Just a simple kiss.” He leaned down, and I raised my face to his, expecting a quick, affectionate brush of lips. But no. Nothing to do with Deacon Girard was simple. The moment he touched me, his mouth opened, his tongue was searching for mine, and I felt my body begin to melt.
I succumbed to his magical mouth for a few minutes before I made myself take a step backward. “Okay, that’s enough of that.” My heart had begun thumping again. “I’ll see you at the hospital this afternoon.”
“With panties or without?” he called. I heard the water turn on in the shower as I paused to slip on my shoes.
“I know whatI’llbe wearing, but what you choose to put on under your suit is completely up to you!”
As I left the house, his answer shout of laughter rang in my ears.
* * *
I walked out of Deacon’s house with a spring in my step, on a post-orgasmic blissful high. But by the time I was halfway to my cabin, doubt and self-recrimination began to crowd into my mind.
Getting drunk and sleeping with the guy I’d been in love with a year ago—okay, and two years ago, too—was probably not the best idea. Especially when we worked so closely together, and when we had a history of screwing things up and letting our personal life seep into our work life.
And just what did it mean? Deacon had said some pretty serious things last night and this morning, but I still wasn’t sure where we stood. I’d admitted to him earlier this year that I’d been in love with him when he’d left for Slovenia, so he knew how deep my feelings had run before. But this was now.
Was I still in love with Deacon? Or was it just that we had this insane attraction that burned hot and then left us in cinders? Maybe I was drawn to him because we were so often at odds. Was I screwed up in some way that I liked men who treated me badly?
No. Deacon had never mistreated me. He’d flung some pretty hurtful insults my way in the heat of arguments, but I gave as good as I got in those cases. And even when he disagreed with me professionally, he always handled the situation with the same standard of courtesy I’d seen him extend to all of his colleagues.
But something he’d said last night had rung true with me. Our intense discussions were a form of foreplay. When Deacon and I were contesting some point of medicine or patient care, it was a very short journey fromirritated beyond wordstobend me over and fuck me hard. If that was twisted or kinky, maybe I was just lucky I’d found someone else whose kink matched mine.
I’d never experienced this kind of attraction with any other guy I’d dated. In my school days and early career, I’d tended to gravitate toward men who were easy-going and low-key, the kind who didn’t get mad when I had to work late at the hospital five days out of seven. It never bothered me when we’d drift apart, because they’d never meant much to me, anyway.
I turned down the dirt road that led to my cabin, still wrapped up in my thoughts. The sun was rising, and steam rose from the pond on the edge of my property. It was going to be another scorcher of a day. I’d have to make sure my new plants had plenty of water, and check on the seedlings Jimmy and I had started up two weeks ago. We had several trays of adorable little tomato plants that I hoped would bring me plenty of fruit for the canning season this winter.
Right after I eased onto my driveway, I spotted a familiar truck parked next to the cabin.Damn. Trepidation tightened my chest as I brought my car to a stop and climbed out slowly.
Noah leaned against the bed of his pick-up, his arms crossed as he watched me pick my way across the grass toward him.
“Hey!” I tried for a casual, carefree smile. “What’re you doing here? Did we have plans that I forgot about?”
He chuckled and met me halfway, leaning down to kiss my cheek and then sweep me into a hug. “No, this was a random drop-in. I have to be at the hospital later today, so I thought I’d drive over early and see if I could take you to breakfast on the way in.” He slid me a sideways glance as we walked up the porch steps together. “Imagine my surprise when you weren’t here at seven in the morning.”
“Oh?” I didn’t owe Noah any explanation, I scolded myself silently. We weren’t dating, and I was a free woman. It wasn’t any of his business—except that he was Noah, my friend, the one in whom I’d confided almost everything for a long time. It felt weirdnotto tell him. But maybe it would be weirdertotell him. Or maybe I’d just—
“I called the hospital to see if you’d gone in early, but they told me you weren’t supposed to be there until this afternoon.”
