"Even if we're not baking?" He takes a drink and sets his mug down.
"Yes. I was the one who invited you here. I knew we weren't going to be baking," I point out. "I wanted to make the most of the time before you go."
"The day is closer than I want it to be," he admits.
I lean against the railing, my hands cupped around my mug of wine. My thoughts race with all of the things I want to say, and all of the things I feel like I shouldn't.
Nate comes to join me, while Ember continues to eat a feast of her own to my left. Maybe I shouldn't have brought her with me, but I thought she might also want to see the fireworks.
"It's a beautiful night," Nate says.
"It is," I agree. "And clear enough that the fireworks should look good. I was worried that it might be too cloudy."
"Autumn is a tricky season like that."
"It is. I hope your journey back will be a safe one."
"I'm sure it will be," he says. "But I promise I'll write to you the moment I'm back in Wafeland so that you know I'm safe."
A horrible feeling settles within me as I realise that the journey could be dangerous. And there's a slim chance that I'll never see him again. Can I send him off without telling him how I feel?
I look at him, admiring his profile and how the moon illuminates his features.
No. I can't tell him. Doing so will only complicate matters, especially when I have no idea how he feels about me. But there is one thing I can say.
"I wish you could stay." The words come out so softly they're barely above a whisper.
"I wish I could stay," he responds.
"I wanted to ask you to stay five years ago."
"I wanted you to ask me," he says. "But you know that."
I let out a frustrated sigh. "But I don't regret not saying that you should take your apprenticeship. I would never stand in the way of your career."
"I know, Evie."
"But five years is a long time." I look down at my cup of wine, feeling the threat of tears start to bubble up again. "I don't know if I can do that again."
"We won't have to," he promises.
"You don't know that. And even if we can see each other in that time, how much is it going to be for? A week at Yuletide when you come to visit your parents?"
"I can't take Yuletide off," he points out.
"Right, of course not. So maybe a week this time next year, if I can persuade my parents to let me be the one to go to Wafeland. Veronica thinks it might be possible if she comes with me."
"You've spoken to Veronica about this?" There's something in his voice that sounds suspiciously like hope.
"She's been somewhat helpful," I respond.
"I could stay," he whispers.
"How?"
"I don't know. I could find a job in one of the nearby castles. Or I can work at a bakery. I could talk to Chef Martina and see if she'll give me my old job back," he suggests.
"You can't take a demotion just to spend time with me."
