Time to put her out of her misery.
“Pantry, top shelf, blue container,” I whisper in her ear and pull away. Turning and hoisting myself up on the island counter, I take another mouthful of coffee and wait for the squeal.
“Youdolove me,” she says, exiting the pantry with a mouthful of cinnamon bun.
“After this morning, you are barely in my good books, but I will never not love you, you know that.
“Yeah, yeah.” Autumn waves her hand at me, placing the container on the counter and then joining me sitting up on the island, just like we have done since we were teenagers. I mean, it’s the best spot in the kitchen. You get a clear view out of the window, and it’s close to both the fridge and the pantry; all vital locations.
“Okay, you first. What’s happening with that guy from the deli near your office?” I nudge her shoulder with mine as I take one of the buns out of the container, because she owes me.
Autumn rolls her eyes at me, and I immediately know this story’s going to be a good one.
“Well, you know that I’ve been flirting up a storm with him the last week. And then yesterday, when I went in for my lunch, he asked me what I would like, and I thought I would be cute and said,I’ll have pepperoni on my club sandwich because I love a good sausage.”
“Oh my God! You did not say that to him.” I gasp at her boldness.
“Of course I did, you know I have no shame.” She laughs out loud.
“And?” I look at her.
“He repliedso do I.” Autumn slaps herself on the forehead, and we both burst out laughing to the point where I almost wet myself as tears stream down my face.
“And this is why I love you. Nobody makes me laugh like you do.” Pulling ourselves together, our chatter continues as she tells me about the guy she took home last night from the bar.
“Now that was some good sausage, I must say.” Autumn winks at me, bragging about the sex, and I can’t help but be a little jealous. I wish I was as brave as her.
“That’s what we need for you, some awesome sausage. It will prove my point that Dean was a waste of space in all aspects.” She gives me that I-told-you-so look.
“Can we stop referring to dicks as sausages, please? I’ll never be able to eat pepperoni or salami again. And I really like salami,” I tell her, taking the last sip of my coffee.
“Oh, you bad girl. You like the big sausages, good for you.” Autumn’s reply has me spitting out my coffee and then trying to drag in a breath to stop me from choking to death.
“Seriously! What is wrong with you?” I glare at her after finally settling enough to speak, but she just shrugs her shoulder.
“Back to you though, you know that the best way to get over Dean is to get back on the horse…”
“Stop! No more euphemisms about cocks. I get it, I need some sex, you aren’t telling me anything I don’t know. But thinking about meat and horses is not going to help my visuals, I can assure you.” I hold my hand over her mouth to stop her from speaking.
She pushes my hand away. “Oh, so we have visuals. Let me guess, they’re of the stud next door, because I think that’s a great place to start. And you’re thinking about sneaking out at night after your momma is in bed and throwing rocks at his bedroom window so he lets you in. So high school of you.”
I groan at her, but she doesn’t stop.
“No, no, I’ve got it! You’re going to turn up at his door wearing an overcoat with nothing underneath except lingerie. Yeah, that will work.” Now she’s laughing at her own jokes.
“Just so you know, Landon…” I try to say.
“Landon, oh, on first-name basis already, I like it.” She waves her hand in front of her, gesturing for me to continue.
“Landon is a single dad to two little boys, whose wife passed away a couple of years ago. I’m sure he has enough on his plate without some random neighbor throwing herself at him. So, not happening, especially now he has seen me looking like this today. I haven’t even brushed my hair.” I’m so embarrassed, I won’t even be able to look him in the eye the next time I see him. “At least last night at his house I was dressed more appropriately.” And as soon as the words are out of my mouth, I wish I could pull them back in.
“Wait, what!” she screams at me. “Start talking, woman.”
Over the next few minutes, I give her the bare minimum of what happened last night, but I’m not stupid enough to mention how rattled I was by him. Because like I said to Autum, the man is a widower who is never going to be interested in a woman who is here for two weeks and has nothing to offer him.
For his sake and mine, that’s definitely a no-go zone.
“You know I hate shopping,” I whine as Autumn drags me through the Prudential Center in the city. “I thought we were just here to have a nice lunch at the Pru.” I sound like an overtired child.
