“We are, but I know you won’t have brought anything sexy with you, and if you are coming out partying with me while you’re here, then we need to dress you appropriately.” Autumnhooks her arm through mine and pulls me into her favorite clothing shop.
“What’s wrong with my clothes? They are comfortable and practical.” I choose my words carefully, knowing how much they are going to annoy her.
She shivers like someone has just dragged their nails down a chalkboard. “I don’t ever want to hear those words come out of your mouth again. Today we are giving you a style reno. You will thank me later.”
“I doubt it,” I grumble as she picks up a skirt that would barely cover my ass cheeks. “Forget it,” I say as I pull away from her and start looking at other racks that have dresses and skirts that are at least mid-thigh length. I know there is no use fighting her. If I don’t walk out of this shop with some new clothes, this torture could go on for hours. Besides, I’m hungry.
We finally walk out of the shop thirty minutes later, and I have three outfits that even I have to admit make me look far better than I feel most of the time. I spend most of my days in a uniform or heavy fire-protection suit, and their only job is to keep me safe, not make me look good. And generally, when I’m off shift, I hang out at a pub near the firehouse that is known for being where the first responders in our area congregate, so jeans and a shirt are perfect.
And lately, when I would go out with Dean, I wasn’t trying to attract the attention of another man, so I would just dress up nicely but there was no sexy outfit. I didn’t think it was something Dean ever cared about, but looking back, it was because he was checking out every other woman in the room besides me.
“Can we eat now? You know my body always needs refueling.” I point to the restaurant that we both love, down past all the people who are lined up for their Santa photo. I remember my mom used to bring me here because it always had the mostrealistic-looking Santa around. No fake beard or padding on his belly. It was all genuine, and he had the kindest eyes. We would always get our photo at the beginning of December so we didn’t have to battle the crowds like today. The sheer number of people is not only chaotic, but the noise of crying kids and parents at their wits’ end is not pleasant.
“That’s because you work out so freaking hard and have a job that burns off every bit of food before it even hits your stomach. I wish I had a body as hot as yours so I could wear all those slutty outfits back in that shop.” It’s the same argument we have had since high school.
“I have a fast metabolism, I can’t help it. Plus, you are so beautiful that it hurts me that you can’t see it for yourself. And don’t you even try to tell me that men don’t like a woman with some curves, because there is no way you aren’t getting plenty of action. Embrace your body, because the guys certainly are.” Autumn just rolls her eyes at me again, which I know is her tell-tale sign that she hasn’t believed a word I said.
The closer we get to Santa, the louder the crowd gets, and I can’t help but see the tall grumpy-looking man who is next in line with his two little boys. The older boy’s arms are wrapped tightly around Landon’s leg, and it looks like he is about to burst into tears. His younger brother is talking to him, pointing to Santa and, I’m guessing, trying to convince him that it will be okay.
“Well, well, well, look who’s here.” Autumn leans closer to me, and thankfully she is speaking quietly into my ear and not out loud at the top of her voice.
But my focus remains on the scared little soul in front of me. I hand the shopping bags to Autumn and start walking straight over to them.
“Hi, Landon, and you must be Nash and Kade.” I immediately crouch down to their eye level without givingLandon a chance to respond. I’m used to dealing with scared little ones in my line of work, and I’ve learned the best way to calm them is to engage with them in a gentle way. “I’m Poppy, and your neighbor, Mrs. B, is my mom. She’s told me all about you both and how you are the best chocolate chip cookie makers in all the world, is that right?” Kade, the younger one’s, eyes light up at the mention of my mom and cookies.
“Yes, I’m better than my dad,” Kade responds, looking up at his dad who is just staring at me while moving his hand in slow circles on Nash’s back, trying to comfort him. Nash peers at me from behind his dad’s leg. I glance at Landon and can’t tell from his look whether he is pissed at me for just barging up to them, or if he is pleading for some help. I shift my attention straight back to the boys.
“Is that right? Well, maybe we need to have a cookie-making competition while I’m here visiting for the holidays, and I’ll pick the best cookies.” I concentrate on Nash and ask him, “What about you, Nash? Are you better than you dad too?” No words, but he nods at me with a little enthusiasm, which is a good start. “Well, I can’t wait to test your cookies too. Does that sound like a fun idea?” He nods again, but this time there is a slight little smile.
“Let me guess, you are both here to tell Santa what you want for Christmas and to get a nice photo for Daddy.” I look between both the boys, but Kade is quick to reply.
“Yes, but my brother is scared, and he doesn’t want to go up because Mommy isn’t here to hold his hand.” Kade reaches out to hold his brother’s hand, and my heart bleeds for these little boys. The tear that is just hanging in there for Nash now slips down his cheek.
“That’s okay. I was scared when I was little girl too, and my mom used to hold my hand and be in the photo with me. So, I bet if you asked your daddy nicely, he would love to be in the photowith you. Would that make it better?” I’m not game enough to look up at Landon, because I’m worried the look on his face will be a pissed-off one now.
But it’s Nash who looks up to Landon, and I hear him speak for the first time. “Daddy, please can you do that, like Mrs. B did?” The wobble in his voice tells me he is trying so hard to be brave.
I finally find the courage to look up at Landon for his answer, and although his face tells me he wants to kill me, his voice is ever so gentle with Nash.
“Of course, buddy, if that’s what you want,” Landon replies, and then with the straightest face he continues. “And I think Poppy should get a photo with Santa too. What do you think, boys, wouldn’t Mrs. B love that?” His sarcasm goes straight over the boys’ heads but hits me right in the chest.
“Yeah!” Kade jumps up and down. “Poppy, you can hold my hand so you don’t get scared. I promise Santa is nice, and he will bring you a present and put it under the tree. You can ask him for anything you want.” I stand, and Kade is already taking my hand, while the smirk on Landon’s face lets me know how much he is enjoying throwing me under the bus—just like I did to him.
“Next,” a woman dressed as an elf calls out in a voice that tells me she wants to be anywhere but here right now.
“Let’s go, Poppy.” Kade pulls on my hand, and before I know it, I’m walking up to Santa with one very excited four-year-old. As I turn back to look at Landon and Nash, all the irritation I felt at Landon for making me do this too falls away as I watch him lean down and hug his son in such a loving and reassuring way. His eyes are closed tight as though he too is trying to get through a tough time, just like Nash. And as he slowly opens them and looks up at me with eyes full pain, I give him a gentle smile, trying to let him know that I’ve got him.
“Hey, Nash, can you help me too? I don’t know what to ask Santa for. Any suggestions?” As he starts to take a few steps toward me, I hear a voice call out from the crowd to the side of me.
“A big salami.” I flash Autumn a death stare before composing myself to look back at Landon and Nash who are now standing beside me.
“Your friend is weird,” Landon mumbles as we make our way up the steps to Santa.
“Tell me about it,” I mutter as I plaster a happy smile on my face and listen to Kade talking flat-out to Santa, telling him what presents he wants, how his brother is scared and so is his new friend Poppy. Man, this kid is going to run the world one day. As Nash starts to loosen up a bit and talks to Santa, I try to edge back a bit from the three of them to let them have their special moment. I whisper to the photographer that I need her to place me in a spot where she can edit me out of the picture afterwards, and she gives me a little nod to say she’s got it.
With all the commotion of deciding who needs to sit where, Kade agrees to sit on Santa’s lap, and Nash, who is still struggling a little, will sit on Landon’s lap on the chair next to Santa. Although Kade wanted to hold my hand, I convinced him to hold a plush reindeer instead so I could stand next to him and make it easier for the photographer to do her magic.
After the boys receive their candy canes and aho, ho, hofrom Santa, we step down to the waiting area for the photos, and I decide it’s time for me to get out of here.
