Zeus– I stop with a sigh. “He’s your father,” I say to myself and breathe in deep. He is my father. I have to start thinking of him like that. I am new to having more than one parent, but even then I don’t think it's normal to call them by their first name. My mother…that’s a different story. She lost the right to being called my mother a long time back. Zeus hasn’t quite made it there yet, plus I know he enjoys hearing that word—father.
I’ve seen his chest puff with pride at the word. A light entered his eyes when I said it to the server at the restaurant and again in the boutique. He’d had no trouble playing the role of a proud father.
I keep my eyes ahead, the sound of laughter and voices floating up to me and for a split second I remember the first time I was here with Law.
I’d walked down a hallway just like this not knowing he was going to be the one waiting for me at the end of the night. He’ll be here tonight, but it won’t the same. I won’t be here with him, there won’t be any soft looks or shared touches.
This is business. I am meant to show Law I’m not the woman I’d been before. Not the one that had loved him with my whole heart or the one he’d broken into a million little pieces just a week before.
I’m a Vlahos now.
A peal of laughter echos and bounces down the hallway. I hear music swell, the bass beat thumping louder with each step that I take closer to the Great Room. The music tonight sounds frenetic, an electronic mashup with an orchestra that I can’t make sense of but which has me curious. It’s haunting and energetic all at once, seamlessly shifting between the two in a rhythm that pulls me down the hallway. There are flashing lights that color the hallway in a tint of neon green and pink, then purple and gold. Shadows of dancers and party goers appear on the wall beside me and I hesitate. There are so many people, I can tell that just from the writhing shadows that move over the wall and my body as I step into the doorway.
I am above them, the level Zeus resides on is higher than the rest of the club. I’ve seen the stairs leading up to this level as a club member but had never known anyone to ascend these steps. It was an unspoken rule no one was allowed up them, and after a while the curiosity I’d felt over the stairs had vanished until I hadn’t even noticed them anymore.
Not really. They’d just become part of the backdrop of the club, but now I know where they lead. I’ve spent a week living in the world hidden by these stairs. I walk forward until I come to the edge of the small balcony I am on. This is a mezzanine level that offers me a bird’s eye view of the room below. I’ve never seen the Great Room like this. In the week I’ve been here I haven’t come out to the public areas of the club. I had a fear that I’d see Law here.
He is part owner after all. I’d known what Zeus had been saying when we’d had lunch. It isn’t just that Law is going to be here as a club owner. He is going to be here as a member. I’ll have to face him soon and when I do, it may be that Law is with someone else.
I frown and drop my eyes to the room. A dance floor has been made at the center of it. The furniture the room normally holds is gone. A throng of bodies move and writhe in time with the music. I spy servers weaving through the crowd with silver platters laden with cocktails while others carry bottles and buckets of ice. Even though the Great Room has mostly been turned into a space to move and dance, there is a dais set apart from the rest of it.
Made of dark polished wood there is a seat there that is practically a throne and I’m not surprised to see it empty. I am half an hour late but I bet he’ll be later still past that. He is dramatic if anything. It’s something my mother might have done, but Zeus’ flair for the dramatics feels less of an act and more of who he is.
He isn’t here yet because it doesn’t suit his plans. Not because he wants the attention. He is making a statement with it. Reinforcing the fact that every single person is here at his whim and he will see to them when he is good and ready. I edge closer to the railing in front of me, it is made of the same stuff as the dais. Polished wood so dark it seems black. I set my hands on it and take in a deep breath as I try to get my bearings. It doesn’t matter that the party is going on and the room is pure chaos. My mind is on one man and one man only.
Law.
I wonder if he is here now. Law will be the only face I really know in attendance at my ‘birthday.’ The rest of them I don’t know, but that suits me just fine. They’ll all be here for Zeus anyways, not me. They are here because he’d summoned them and for some strange reason no one seems able to resist his sway.
Not even me. That's why I’m here, isn't it? I’m here because of the promise of family. The Vlahos name he is dangling in front of me like a carrot on a stick is so close I can touch it. I clench my hands on the railing in front of me. I don’t know why it has power over me, or why I even want it.
But I do.
It has to be the remnants of the trauma that only being my mother’s child could give birth to. My fingers tighten on the banister railing and I close my eyes for a second. I take in a deep breath and let it out in a measured count before I do it again. When I open my eyes I feel more steady. If Law is here, that’s fine. If he is here with someone else?
Well, that won’t feel fine but I’ll pretend that it is. I want to throw up just thinking about his hands on someone else, but I know it is a possibility. He’d lied to me about what we were and how we’d begun. There is no telling what he is up to, not really. I still love him, even if I can't trust him. But I have a nasty habit of loving people that I can’t trust. It’s the way I’ve been raised.
There is a slight commotion, several of the servers stop dead in their tracks and reroute. Their synchronized movement catch my eyes and I follow their path to see what has gotten them all to move as one.
It’s Zeus.
He is entering the room opposite of where I am standing, from the other set of stairs. Unlike me, he hasn’t paused for even a second to take in the room. He cuts right through the crowd, which is easily done as it parts before him without hesitation. A glass is pressed into his hand and I huff out a laugh when I notice the little army of servers and bottle girls that trail in his wake. They are at the ready if he so much as glances their way, which he doesn’t. Instead, he makes his way to the dais and takes a seat on his throne.
He settles into it like he’s been born to it. I guess he has been, considering this is the world he’s built. Every square inch of it is crafted by his hand. He controls everything within it. Even the people. Zeus looks up and I fall back a step when his gaze hits me. There is no mistaking the fact he’s spotted me, especially when he raises a hand in a wave. The gesture is slight, just the barest lift of his wrist in my direction, but I see it. He motions for me to join him with a flick of his fingers before he drops his hand and looks away. It feels like a dismissal, even from across the room, but I move as he directs all the same. My feet have a mind of their own and before I know it, I am pushing away from the railing and heading for the stairs like another obedient soul under Zeus’ thumb. The fact that he is my father does zero to make me feel any better about how quickly I’ve moved. How have I become someone that snaps into action with the slightest gesture from Zeus?
I want to stop moving, but I can’t. The second my foot hits the stairs, I feel eyes on me. It’s like leaving the mezzanine and coming down to the main level of the club has instantly made me visible to the other club goers. Each step I descend pierces the veil further until I reach the main floor with all eyes on me. I come to a stop and hesitate.
What the fuck am I supposed to do with everyone staring at me? I’ve been sequestered away with Zeus and his people. There is order there. A hierarchy that serves me well enough, since they know I prefer to go unnoticed and on my own. I rub my palms against my thighs again, the smooth slip of the dress against my hands calming me, but only slightly. It is impossible when the people around me are still and staring. Like whatever I might do next is the answer to their problems. I fall back a step. I don’t know if I can make it to the dais Zeus is sitting at, but then everything changes. Because I see her.
My mother.
She is bright and shining. As alluring as any dark siren as she steps onto the dais with Zeus with a smirk on her lips. She has a dark crimson dress on, it is low cut and flares out behind her in billowing skirts.
What is she doing here?
The sight of her moves me again. She is the reason I don’t like attention. Why I shrink from it and try to blend in. It works, usually, until someone looks too close. I don’t know how to act when they do that. Everyone I pass is looking too closely now. The thumping of the music weaves around me until I am able to concentrate on that and that alone. I time my steps with the second of every bass beat until I feel myself slip into something resembling cool and collected. Just like when it was Zeus, the crowd splits in front of me. My pathway to the dais is cleared out in a matter of seconds and just like when my father had looked at me, I know when my mother realizes I am on my way towards them. I keep my eyes averted, focusing just in front of me so I don’t eat shit unexpectedly and give her one more thing to hold over me.
But even if I do…
