I don’t really care what she thinks about me, do I? Somewhere in the past few days, in the pain and hurt of losing Law and trying to understand how the world is now reformed around me, I’ve realized a very simple truth.
I don’t give a good goddamn what my mother thinks of me.
She is a mean and cruel woman. Zeus had called her “a woman beholden to men” and now that I see it, I can’t unsee it. I’d thought her powerful once, in her own kind of way. So much so that she was capable of inflicting damage down to the cellular level. But my time with Zeus, my father, has put her into perspective.
She is controlled by what others think of her. It makes her feel powerless and that is why she always tries to make me feel that way. I lift my chin and force myself to keep moving. The attention I am getting right now isn’t a cause to run. That, I’d learned from her. Let them stare. I am going to show her that I don’t answer to her anymore and this is my very first declaration of independence to her.I am not my mother’s daughter.
She is going to understand that by the time tonight is over.
I cross the room and walk up the stairs to the dais. Zeus is watching me now. He hasn’t changed his pose, but my mother has. She’s gone from standing with a hand on the back of Zeus’ throne, to stepping in front of him with a scowl on her face. She crosses her arms and I stop a few feet in front of her. She is blocking my view of Zeus like she doesn’t want me to come any closer which is…interesting. She says something, but the loud bass of the club music stops me from hearing whatever it is she’s said. I start to walk again. I know she thinks it’s to hear her better when she shifts towards me, but I sidestep her and take the empty seat beside Zeus. It is simple enough, a dark wood, but a companion to his own seat all the same.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
I ignore my mother and look at my father. “It’s packed in here. You didn’t say there would be this many people.”
“You should have expected it when I told you it was a birthday party.”
I tilt my head to the side and look out at the dance floor. Now that I’m closer to it, I see just how chaotic it is. There are dancers on platforms, their athletic bodies moving in time with the music, as the partygoers beneath them writhe faster and reach for one another. Servers carry chilled bottles of champagne overhead, pouring them into waiting mouths and glasses. Lights flash, illuminating the couples and groups of Zeus’ guests that seem to be shedding their inhibitions by the second. I don’t know what the party is going to look like by its end, but I suspect it is going to be the culmination of everyone’s darkest desires.
This is a night for them to claim what they hide from the public. Decadence for decadence sake. Desire slaked and slayed on the floor of the club. I swallow hard and look away from a couple that is locked in a passionate embrace. The man looks far too close to Law in profile for me to stomach it.
He will be here. What if thatishim?
I look at Zeus and block the man out. I’ll find out soon enough if it is Law or not, and when I do, I’ll deal. He isn’t mine. Never has been.
“This doesn’t really seem like a birthday party,” I say.
He shrugs. “Something tells me you never really had one to know the difference.”
I huff out a laugh and nod. “Got me there.”
“What the fuck is going on here?”
I look to the left and see my mother is close. I frown and shake my head. No, I don't want to think of her like that anymore. Just like the mental transition I am forcing myself to do to see and think of Zeus as my father, I am doing the same nowwith her.
It isn’t my mother I am looking at, it’s Rosario.
Zeus glances her way. “It’s a party, Rosario.”
“I’m not talking about this,” she says, throwing her hands out before she jabs a finger at us, “I’m talking about the two of you.”
“This is a conversation,” I tell her and shift into a pose that mirrors Zeus’.
Her eyes narrow. “Oh, you think because he’s got you put up here like a kept woman where you can just lay up in bed and-”
I hold up a hand and grimace. “Why are you sick? Why would you say that? He’s my father.”
Her mouth drops open and she looks at Zeus. “You fucking told her?” She snaps at him.
Zeus sighs and steeples his fingers. “Of course, I fucking told her, Rosario. Why else do you think she’s still here?”
“Because she’s a whore.”
Her words are meant to hurt. As it is, they do nothing but make me smile.
“Why are you so jealous of me?” I ask her.
Rosario’s eyes go wide and she takes a threatening step closer to me. “How dare you! There is nothing to be jealous of. You are nothing but a cheap imitation ofme. I would never give two fucks about you.”
