My tears come afresh. “I love you too,” I whisper. We’re quiet again for a second before Maud speaks.
“You give me the word and I’ll end your heat. I’d do it now but you have to be the one to tell me. It has to be your choice.”
I don’t even hesitate, not even with the stink bottle dangerously close to my face. “Do it. End my heat.”
Maud beams at me. “That’s my smart girl. All right, now you just sit tight and let it work its magic you hear me?”
“What do you mean, sit tight?” I don’t understand Maud’s words at first but it all makes sense when she tips the bottle forward and empties the contents into my bath water. It’s purple, a pretty pale lilac color that I’d like if it wasn’t making me gag from the smell.
I lean over the edge of the tub and almost bolt but Maud snaps her fingers. “What did I say about staying put? Now sit.”
I grit my teeth and sit. “Yes ma’am.” I tense up, waiting for something to happen but other than the stench that’s rapidly fading nothing does. I slowly relax when I realize nothing is coming and look at Maud.
“That’s it?”
She nods. “That’s it. You sit in this for a half hour and by the time you’re done that heat is going to be nothing but an ugly memory. Now, come here and we’ll wash your hair. Can’t send you out into the world with dirty hair.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Maud washes my hair carefully. The rhythmic brush of her fingers through my hair calms me enough that I can think clearly enough to mull over my next move.
“I don’t know where to go.”
“Well, there’s a few places you can go with that coffee tin of cash you've squirreled away. There’s a few packs I know that would take you east of here too.”
“Really?”
Maud stands and grabs a fluffy towel from the cupboard. “Of course. You’re a skilled healer and herbalist. Just because this pack refuses to see your value doesn’t mean you won’t easily be welcomed in other places. Come on, get out before you catch a chill.”
I get out of the tub a little easier than I got in. My body doesn't feel like it’s going haywire. There’s no slick or burningheat devouring me from the inside. I breathe a sigh of relief at being able to stand on my own but I still need Maud to keep me steady. I sit in the chair and start to dry off while she gets another for my hair and a spark of hope comes to life in me.
Welcomed.That’s something I never thought I could be anywhere.
“I-you really think another pack would want me?” My voice shakes but I swallow hard and keep speaking, “I mean, that I could fit in somewhere else? In a different pack?”
“You have more worth than you can ever imagine and I hate that this pack has blinded you to it.” Maud’s brow pinches as she looks me over. “The way this pack will pay for what it’s done to you will be one of my favorite things to witness. Once you leave here you will find your place to belong. I swear it to you. A new pack will be the fresh start you deserve. You will find your home, Cordelia.”
All my life Frostclaw Pack has made me believe there was nowhere that would want me. No home to call my own. I don’t even know when I started to believe them, but I did until the idea of anything else seemed like a fantasy.
The pack was wrong. I do have a home. Home isn’t just another one of my daydreams, not if Maud is speaking it over me now. After all, she’s a powerful witch that threatened to curse the Alpha and broke my heat without so much as a spell.
“How did you break my heat? Was it magic?”
“Oh, that? Just a little trick my Elders taught me. There’s nothing magical about it all. Just think of it as hitting the reset button on biology. It’ll delay your heat, not forever but long enough for you to find your new home.”
“Can I leave now?” I feel stronger after the heat cure. My wolf wolf feels it too. She’s antsy and ready to make a run for it. Excitement makes me turn to Maud so fast that I almost fall out of my seat. I give Maud a sheepish look when she catches me.
“I guess I’m weaker than I thought.”
She gives me a stern look and pushes back into my seat. “You are. Take it slow and rest up. You’ll have plenty of time to get tired once you’re on your way tomorrow. Now dry your hair before you catch a cold. I’ll get you a cup of tea to help you recover.”
Maud hands me a towel for my hair and heads over to her stove to work on a pot of tea. From the smell of the peppermint brewing in it, I know it well. It’s a mix of peppermint and licorice. Maud makes it regularly when I need a pick me up after pulling a double shift in the kitchens. I dry my hair while she busies herself at the stove. The familiar clink of china on the wooden countertops soothes me.
“The easiest place to start though?” Maud hums thoughtfully. “Well, I do believe that would be south of here.”
“What’s south of here?” I ask. I don’t know what’s south of here. The town is a bit north and anything outside of that is unknown to me. A gust of wind rattles the window panes and a branch taps against the glass. I look outside. There’s so much of the world that I’ve never seen and before tonight I thought I never would.
But after tonight I don’t have a choice. I’ll be seeing the world all right, I have to. The carefully ordered systems that made up my life in Frostclaw are gone. The walls of my life have been pulled down. There’s nothing left here for me, but there’s something I’m slowly realizing as I sit in Maud’s kitchen and stare out the window.
Maybe my rejection isn’t the end of my story but the beginning because there’s a whole wide world waiting for me now.
