The first time I realized that, it almost felt…stuck up to admit that to myself. But why should I feel shame for loving me? I was worth every ounce of love, not just from others, but from myself too.
I was compassionate and often thought of others before myself.
I wanted what was best for both empires and was willing to fight for that change.
I didn’t have a large ego, and I was willing to admit that I had so much to learn if I wanted to bring about such a significant shift. I would put in the hard work to ensure that.
And the most important part of myself that I loved? I hadn’t allowed the shadows of my past to follow me into the light of this new chapter in my life. I was stronger than I’d ever thought possible.
I found myself excited each day I awoke now, and I’d do anything to protect this newfound peace and happiness.
We were currently gathered in the throne room along with many others awaiting the start of a ceremony. I hadn’t gotten a chance to ask the details of what the ceremony was for. I’d been gently woken and told to get dressed quickly for an important event, which I had done in a hazy pleasurable fog that had still hung over me.
Which was probably how I ended up in such a simple dress for an important ceremony, the light cream-colored fabric tight in the torso with off-the-shoulder sleeves and a skirt that brushed the floor. If I had known we were going to be in the throne room, I would’ve probably picked something a bit less casual…but it was so damn early! I hoped Myrin wouldn’t blame me for being dressed down.
I wanted to make her proud at all times, but I knew realistically she wouldn’t care about my state of dress. For some reason, I put so much pressure on myself to try to be perfect around her.
My eyes kept darting over to Elijah, who made a point of standing apart from us. He wasn’t far, only a few feet away, but his gaze rested elsewhere, like he was waiting for something or someone. Or perhaps he was trying to keep himself from looking at us.
Silently willing him to look at me, examining his handsome features and wondering how they would look completely relaxed, his eyes finally flicked over to mine. My breath caught in my throat at the intense emotion there, a mixture of what appeared to be frustration, need, and anger all flashing through his green gaze before they cooled and he offered the other two a sharp head nod. His gaze moved back to the room, and I felt myself sag in defeat.
Why did it always feel like we were taking ten steps back? Or maybe that was the problem—I was viewing this relationship as having somewhere to go, and he wasn’t. Sadness saturated me as I considered that maybe I needed to take his words at face value.
So why did my chest feel hollow at that concept? Why did it feel so wrong to imagine a scenario where Elijah wasn’t involved in my developing relationship with Dakath and Kolvar?
Before I could think too much about it, silence fell over the gathered crowd, the guards at the door parting the grand doors at the entrance. We were standing towards the front, so I was able to see most of the room as well as most of the eyes on us, but that wasn’t what held my attention. My attention was focused on Myrin entering the space.
The energy and power that she held was incomparable to anything I’d experienced before. The crowd was mesmerized by her as she walked down the center aisle towards her throne. Her black robe fell around her tall, lithe frame and dragged along the floor after her, the ends embroidered in gold pattern that echoed the mask she wore. Everything from her hands to her hair was covered in dark garments, and it really did give the illusion that she was a statue rather than an individual. The outfit removed any identity, any sense of sex, age, or personality.
Myrin was simply the ruler of these lands.
Everyone bowed as she took the throne and I followed suit, only straightening when music began to fill the space, the notes celebratory but still serious in nature. My gaze moved back to the door, where everyone had once again turned their attention. I really should’ve asked what this ceremony was for, but I couldn’t deny that my intrigue was at an all-time high as I watched the events unfold.
As the music came to a stop, two parallel lines of guards came through the entrance to make another aisle for a man that followed after. My eyebrows went up, because it was obvious that the man was human, his movements not as fluid as a vampyre’s would be.
What type of ceremony would include the Empress and a human?
Elijah stepped forward then, his movement commanding the room’s attention as he motioned for the man to stand facing the crowd. I could see that the human was a bit nervous but he covered it well, his face stoic and serious, his only tell was the slight shake of his fingers at his sides.
I was shocked I could even see that. I still wasn’t used to having these heightened senses.
As if given a silent signal, the music quieted, and Myrin stood and walked from her throne towards the man.
Elijah issued a command to kneel, which the man did, keeping his gaze straight forward. I felt a nervous tightness in my stomach, suddenly worried what was going to happen. I looked up to Kolvar, who offered me a reassuring smile. I knew reasonably that none of them would put me in a situation that I was uncomfortable with, so I did my best to relax.
Myrin stood and walked around the man so that her back was facing the crowd, and I watched in surprise as the human rolled the sleeve of his jacket and presented his wrist to Myrin, his gaze never straying upward. I was confused for a moment before Myrin did something I hadn’t expected.
She bit the human’s extended wrist.
It wasn’t the first time I’d watched a human being bitten, but there was something distinctly different about this. Myrin pulled back quickly, and the man jolted from the sensation, pain flashing across his gaze though he tried to keep a straight face. There was something so formal about the process, like a crowning ceremony, and it was beyond fascinating. I was starting to get an inkling of what was happening from what I knew about transitioning thus far. I’d never seen it occur in Malakai’s empire, but if this was how they did it here, it really did set a different atmosphere.
I looked up at Dakath for confirmation, and he brushed his lips against my ear and whispered, “I promise I’ll explain everything after.”
I nodded in understanding, my gaze moving back to Myrin as she bit down on her own wrist this time, having pushed up her sleeve enough to do so. She held her wrist up, close to his own but not touching, letting her blood down into the open wound.
I waited for a reaction from the human and almost immediately received it as a low pained sound came from his throat. Myrin nodded towards Elijah, fixing her mask in a simple movement before walking back to the throne.
The human made another pained noise, louder this time, and everyone in the room let out a cheer. I breathed out in relief when Elijah ordered guards to come and aid the man. He was taken out of the room in a practiced formation, and the guests filed out in a celebratory mood. Elijah motioned for the three of us to follow him from the space, and I looked back momentarily at Myrin, who was staring straight ahead.
