I felt a surge of frustration for her.
She was such an amazing leader, yet forced to wear a mask because of how she was born. As we finally left the room, I exhaled and released the tension from my frame, because I hadn’t realized just how much the scent of blood had affected me until I unclenched the hand Dakath wasn’t holding.
“Are you okay?” Elijah asked as we exited through a side door. I nodded mutely, trying to find my voice to explain.
“The scent of fresh blood affects me a lot,” I admitted, and Kolvar made a sound of understanding. “Plus, that entire situation… I’ve never seen anything like that.”
In a way, it infuriated me because it reminded me of how many in Malakai’s empire wasted their lives in hopes they would go through something similar, simply to have a sliver of a decent life for themselves and their families. Yet here, it wasn’t only offered and given in a celebratory way, but you could live as a human and be perfectly happy. People weren’t forced to become vampyres or Thralls for a chance at a better life, and dammit, I wanted this level of equality for Thaicia as well. I knew it would never happen with him in charge.
“You’ve never watched a human start the process of turning into a vampyre?” Elijah asked as we came to a pavilion with a table underneath. I took a seat next to Kolvar, across from the other two, and tried to explain.
“Never. It was always held over the head of the Thralls, teased as an eventual reward if they were obedient,” I explained. “But if they were ever changed, it must have been in private because I never experienced it.”
“That empire deserves to burn,” Kolvar rumbled. I looked up at him, surprised by his violent words, but he didn’t excuse it, instead kissing the top of my head again. When I looked over at Elijah, he looked on edge but didn’t comment on the action. I couldn’t help but wonder if he knew about last night, especially with the tension I sensed simmering right under his skin.
I mean, we weren’t very quiet, and if he was in his room, combined with his heightened hearing… It seemed more than plausible.
“As you know, we don’t have Thralls here, so the process to be changed into a vampyre is different than what you’re used to,” Elijah drew out, trying to appear calm and measured.
“How so?”
“In order to be turned into a vampyre, you have to first apply for either military training or advisor training,” he explained. “If you stand out during that process, you’re offered a chance to be changed into a vampyre.”
“And if you don’t want to change?” What if someone wanted to improve their status in life but didn’t want to sacrifice being human? I thought I had understood, but now I wasn’t sure.
“You can choose to not accept the change and still keep your position,” Dakath assured.Oh good. I was happy that my assumptions had been correct.
“Does anyone actually do that?” I asked. I knew how valued being a vampyre was in Malakai’s empire, so it was insane for me to imagine others rejecting it. Don’t get me wrong, I completely understood it, but such a massive shift in societal standards was sort of throwing me for a loop, even now.
“I nearly rejected it,” Kolvar said, and I looked up at him in confusion. “My family and I were extremely close,” he explained. “I joined the program as soon as I could, eager to work for the empire like my father—he was in the military as well. When I was given the opportunity to change, I found out my father had also been offered a similar chance years ago but rejected it.”
“Why?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t pushing for too much.
His smile was warm. “He didn’t want to live without my mom when she eventually died as a human. Said he loved her too much to go on for years without her.”
“That’s sweet,” I murmured, and his throat produced a sound of agreement.
“But it made me realize that I would far outlive my parents and anyone else that I’d grown up with,” Kolvar said. “It was a hard adjustment, coming to peace with that, but my parents encouraged me because they could tell it was what I wanted. I don’t regret the choice, but it was hard at the time to process. Luckily, my choice ensured my parents will never be forgotten while I’m still around. They are immortal in the way it matters—in my heart.”
I smiled at his words because it was true.
“Was the choice hard for either of you?” I asked, looking at Dakath and Elijah sitting across from us.
“No.”
Elijah’s instant answer had me nearly smiling, because it wasn’t exactly surprising. He continued to elaborate, though. “I grew up in less than ideal conditions. My parents tried their best, but at the end of the day, I felt more like a financial burden than anything else. So as soon as possible, I joined the program, and when I was offered the chance to transition, I didn’t hesitate. I wanted to ensure I could do my job as well as possible.”
Elijah’s loyalty to his empire was something I was starting to admire rather than begrudge for being the reason our could-be relationship was up in the air.
I nodded in understanding, wanting to know more about his family but figuring that was best left for a private conversation. Instead I looked at Dakath, his eyes dark as he offered an answer that was heavier. “It wasn’t hard, per se, but because of where I’d come from, I hadn’t realized it was a possibility. I had the empire to thank for my survival, and I hadn’t thought past that as a reason to pledge my duty when I joined the military. When I was offered the chance, I realized it would be a further extension of my ability to aid them, so I accepted.”
There was something else there as well, something he wasn’t saying, that I had to assume was related to his past in Thaicia. I decided to shift the conversation, hoping to draw him from the dark place his mind was slipping to.
“I didn’t realize it was such a formal event, the changing process—it’s very unique.”
“Hurts like hell,” Kolvar grunted.
“How does the actual process of being changed work?” I would never have to go through it, but I was still curious.
