I’m starting to see some of the perks of this new bond.
You’re the biggest shit talker, I swear.
I learn from the best, Princess.
I couldn’t hold back the chuckle of amusement before musing aloud, “So, how do you feel about Lincoln speaking into your mind?”
Andrei’s shoulders shook, jostling me slightly before he murmured, “He called me buttercup, so I’m pretty sure he loves me now.”
I’d always been drawn to his humor, feeling like it was so similar to my own, and for a brief moment, it felt like it did before the board party. Easy and companionable. But then reality quickly set back in, and I lifted my head away from him, twiddling my hands in my lap as I did.
Silence ensued for a few agonizing seconds.
“So—”
“Alina, I—”
We spoke over each other before we both quickly stopped, glancing at each other and waiting for the other to continue. I dropped my eyes, hating the way I felt like I couldn’t even look him in the eye without remembering how his face had morphed into a mask of cruelty as he spat his hateful, vitriolic words at me.
I forgave him, but I needed something…something to replace the memory so I could move on and remember the good, not the bad.
Fuck, this was so weird. I hated it. I wanted the guy back who brought butterflies to my stomach and bantered back and forth with me like it was his favorite hobby. Everything in me wished that last night with Andrei hadn’t happened.
However, it had paved the way for Drake and me to have a very intimate and emotional moment afterwards. So, in some ways, I wouldn’t want to change what happened, but it left me wondering where we went from here.
When he finally spoke again, his voice was soft. “My dad threatening to kill you is my fault.”
Jerking my head back, I shifted my weight on the bed to turn and look at him fully. “How so?”
I didn’t believe that for one fucking second. His father was a narcissistic, manipulative abuser, but it was clear there was something Andrei wanted to get off his chest, so I wouldn’t interrupt. For now.
He threaded his fingers together as he stared intently at them. “He beat the shit out of my mom as punishment for losing my first spot. We had a deal that he wouldn’t touch her if I kept it.”
My eyelids fell shut for a brief moment, guilt rapidly churning through me at having a hand in this— even if it was unintentional and way out of my control.
“He told me I needed to do whatever it took to get you out of the way—even if it meant killing you. He said he would use his connections to clean it up, but that I was to take back that spot immediately.”
Why was it so imperative that Andrei retain that spot? I didn’t fucking understand. He wanted me dead because of it? I’d understand him wanting me dead due to me being a Van Helsing, but this? Jeoffrey’s mind was something I was coming to realize I’d never be able to rationalize. Maybe that was a good thing. If one day I found myself understanding the man, I’d be concerned about my own mental state.
Opening my eyes, I reached for his forearm, resting my hand on him and squeezing in silent support as his voice cracked with raw emotion, recalling the events. I had to resist reaching up to brush back the longer strands of hair that fell into his face as he let his head hang down.
“I told him I’d never kill you—that I couldn’t—because you were my mate,” he whispered. “I thought admitting it to him would make him see that his demands were impossible, that maybe there was a small ounce of understanding in him.”
Andrei shook his head and blew out a long breath before tilting his head toward me, his usual bright green eyes shadowed with guilt. “I should have known by now that he wasn’t capable of mercy or compassion. Instead, I played right into his hand when he faked those things, asking if I cared about you. I was a fucking idiot. His soft tone and genuine curiosity had the little boy in me—the one who wanted his father’s attention and love—eating out of his palm.”
I’d already wanted to eviscerate Jeoffrey before, but this…It renewed and amped up my determination to do so.
“Andrei,” I murmured, squeezing his arm. “You’re not weak or wrong for wanting to find that within him. I think it shows the depth of your heart for being willing to try to find the good in someone who has clearly done nothing to deserve it.”
A dry chuckle bubbled up from his chest. “All it did was give him a way to further manipulate and use me. He choked my mom in front of me and said‘Focus on your task at hand, get the seat on the board, and your mother is safe. Choose your mate, and your mother dies.’”
I’d made the educated guess that his father was abusive, but the fact that he hung Andrei’s mother’s life over his head like that added a whole new layer of complicated, fucked-up emotional abuse that I hadn’t suspected. My heart broke for her. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the emotional and physical abuse she’d faced well before Andrei was born, nor what she’d faced in the years after.
He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling on it as he let his face fall back toward his feet on the floor. He released his lip and began tapping his feet lightly. “I hit him for the first time last night. I’d never fought back before then. It felt fucking good until he reminded me why I’d never done that before.”
I sensed there was more to the end of the sentence, but the grimace that took over his face made me wonder if I even wanted to know.
“I told him I’d fall in line and do as he said to protect her from him,” he whispered before reaching for my hand on his forearm and placing his over mine before squeezing. “I knew Lincoln and Drake would protect you, but she has no one except me.”
