His admission took my breath away. How could I blame him for making that choice?I couldn’t.
He continued, “I knew you’d fight for me. For us. I thought I had to make you resent me and our bond to keep you safe, baby girl. I didn’t see a way to protect my mother and have you in my life at the same time, and my mind was too clouded in the moment to step back from my emotions and think of other options.”
I nodded despite knowing he wasn’t looking at me. Even before knowing the extent of this situation, I knew he made his decision rooted in fear and in survival mode.
“It’s been drilled into my head since birth that what a man should do is never show his true emotions. I donned my asshole persona without even considering there was another route when shit hit the fan. I know that just sounds like a shitty excuse, but whenever I’m around my father, it’s like all logic flies right out the window.”
I cut him off, pushing his hand from my arm to give me the freedom of movement to grab his face and turn it toward me. Staring deep into his eyes, I infused my voice with as much strength as I could, despite the feeling of my heart breaking in my chest at learning all of these details. “It is not an excuse, Andrei. It’s a coping mechanism that you’ve used to protect yourself.”
He tried to pull his head away, whether it be shame or denial driving the action, I wasn’t allowing it. “While I hate that you didn’t think there was another route, at the end of the day, we really haven’t known each other for that long. Trust comes with time. I hope one day you’ll know that we are all in this together now—you, me, Lincoln, and Drake.”
His mouth parted before closing, and he blinked rapidly before he finally found his words. “How are you sitting here forgiving me?”
I swallowed hard as I considered his question, but the answer came almost instantaneously.
I didn’t want to be judged for the awful things I’d done without being in control of the situation.
“I killed one of my best friends right after I was turned into a vampire when the bloodlust consumed me. I lost everything that night. My family, my friends, my life.” I had to take a breath as the memories washed through my mind, clogging my throat with emotion. I cleared my throat before continuing, “I’ve hurt people in ways I can’t possibly atone for, but I’ve had to learn to accept that I didn’t make that choice with the intent to hurt, and that’s what matters.”
While I’d never forget the feeling of Skye’s blood coating me, or the way that the last time she looked at me was in fear, I hoped that in the afterlife she knew I would never have hurt her if I had been in control of myself. I hope she knew, without a single doubt, that I would find the person truly responsible and avenge her death.
Andrei and I had each done things we regret, but that didn’t mean they defined who we were or what we stood for.
Didn’t we all deserve a chance to prove that?
I wasn’t sure if he made the first move or if I did. All I knew was that seconds later our hands were in each other's hair, and we consumed each other’s very breath as our lips melded together. I swear angels sang, and my soul felt complete at long last.
I finally had each of my mates at my side.
His teeth nipped at my lower lip, dragging it into his mouth to suck on as I flipped myself around to straddle him, grinding my hips down over the erection already pressing into me. All of the questions and anxiety I had been feeling fled through the window as I lost myself in his touch.
It would take time to develop true trust between us, but this was a start that I was more than happy to take. I wasn’t ready to take this further than where we were now with kissing and remembering each other’s touch, but I was open to us working toward that once more. It would take time and action on Andrei’s part to prove that I could let him back in without fear of him turning his back on us the moment things got hard again.
For now, I was content to feel him and let my heart begin to heal in my own way.
My phone pinged then, breaking the spell his touch held me under. We broke apart, and my hand dove into my pocket to fish the phone out. I almost dropped it in my eagerness as I pulled it up and furiously swiped to the message.
All of the happiness within me bled away like the ocean going out with the tide.
“What did he say?” Andrei asked, eyes trying to peer around the back of the phone to see the screen.
I let out a deep sigh and the phone slipped slowly from my hand, landing softly on my lap. Dragging my eyes up to his, I knew he could see the sadness in my gaze as his expression hardened, prepared for what I was about to say.
“They’re gone, Andrei.”
Chapter11
ALINA
Neither of us dared speak, both of our bodies completely rigid in the wake of the news. Hell, I wasn’t sure if we were even breathing until my phone pinged again, breaking us from our tense silence. Not even Lo’s nickname for Drake in my phone could bring a smile to my face now.
Daddy Dracula:It’s only Lo and I here, so no one else knows there is an issue. How do you want us to proceed? I can alert my Pawns, asking them to find them.
I read the message out to Andrei, knowing the decision needed to be his.
I’d want to hunt Jeoffrey down until the end of time, but things were a hell of a lot more complicated now with his mom’s life in jeopardy.
Andrei’s tanned skin paled, like he’d suddenly passed into the afterlife, as he shook his head and murmured, “No. We can’t trust anyone else on the board. In the middle of beating the shit out of me yesterday, he slipped up and mentioned that he already has some of the members on his side.”
