“Are you hiding something?”
She was good at the mom-speak. I’d forgotten what a master she’d been at getting me to spill the beans. Dad used to warn me about asking Mom for help or seeking her opinion if I didn’t have the time to be schooled in her wisdom.
Yeah, I’m your son from the future. Whattaya think about that?“No. I just finally realized my feelings for Coop are no longer brotherly or just best friends,” I began, suddenly registering that I was having a very unusual discussion with my mother about a boy. “This is weird, Mom.”
“What? Admitting that you discovered your true feelings for Cooper? Or telling your mother about it?”
“Both. I think I messed up with him because earlier I told him I loved him as more than a friend,” I confessed. “He looked crushed, Mom. You know how he gets.”
“I do know how Cooper gets. He’s sensitive, Michael. He looks to you to lead and he needs to feel safe. You’ve managed that since you were toddlers.”
“Any suggestions on how to fix it?”
“You know what I’m going to say,” she reminded me. I did, but she still went ahead. “You start with two words and you follow those up with three of the most important words. Remember?”
“I’m sorry and I love you,” I said quietly.
“Start there, honey. This is Cooper we’re talking about.”
I stood in front of her and extended my hands which she accepted so I could pull her from the floor and into a hug. “I’m sorry, Mom, and I love you.”
“I love you too, and tell him just like that, son.”
I watched as she made her way to the door. My mother was a special person, here or there, and in any universe.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE: Cooper
“Do you need extra money this weekend?” my mother asked after my father left for work. My father wasn’t big on extending advances on my allowance even though neither of them wanted me working until I got through college. “I know Saturday is prom and you’ll ha . . .” she began, stopping mid-sentence. “How does it work when it’s two boys? Do you both pay? Who asked who? Does he pay? Did you ask Michael Hastings or did he ask you?”
“Take a breath, Mother. I’m not going,” I said.
“But, Cooper, honey, you’ve always wanted to go to a formal dance with a date. Michael seems like such a nice boy too.”
“He asked me, but I think I changed my mind.”
My mother pulled a chair from under the table and sat next to me. “Prom is less than a week away, son. Canceling seems a bit unkind this close to the dance, don’t you think?”
“I’m not sure Hastings is even gay,” I said. “I’d hoped to be going with a boy that liked me that way.”
She reached for the salt shaker in the middle of the table and rolled it around in her hands before speaking. “He knows you’re gay though, correct?” she asked. “And it was him that asked you, so why would you think he doesn’t assume it’s a date?”
“He talks about girls and flirts with them,” I admitted. “And right in front of me too.”
“Hmmmm,” she mulled. “Sounds immature to me. And Michael is what, seventeen?”
“He’s eighteen,” I announced.
“Oh, well okay, an adult for sure. Sounds like a boy that might be confused about things, wouldn’t you agree?” she asked. “I mean seventeen or even eighteen, plus you add being in high school. Hmmmm?”
I frowned at her. “I hear what you’re saying,” I said. “But I know I’m gay. And I know for sure. Like forever even.”
“But honey, you’re mature for your age. Perhaps you’ve had more time to be comfortable in your skin?” she counseled. “And Michael Hastings has been here what, a year? You don’t know who he was before starting school here.”
“I think he has the hots for Jennifer James and hangs around me because of Mikey and her.”
“What does Mike think about him if that’s the case?” she asked.
“He doesn’t see it,” I said. “Maybe he doesn’t care. I don’t know.”
