Cam stands to his full height, and I love the way he towers over me a little too much. “For like the millionth time, I want to say I’m really sorry. I know it probably means so little at this point. I am, though, and I know you didn’t mean it.” The brokenness on his face wrenches my gut.
“Cam, I’m so sorry, I can’t—”
“Wait. Sorry. Just let me get this out, okay? Then you can say, scream, cry anything, alright? Please.” I concede, letting him talk. “You’re the only person I completely trust, and having that security means everything to me. I literally don’t know what I would do without you in my life. I know I don’t make it easy, and I’ve hurt you in ways I probably will never realize . . .” Cam shakes his head.
He closes his eyes for a moment before they flutter open to look at me, hitting me with their full weight, then he sits beside me.
“This thing that’s been happening between us is fucking terrifying. I’ve never been able to keep anyone happy long term. I’m not that interesting, Bo. This is all I am, and losing you . . . That thought is so scary it makes me sick.”
Cam’s hands grab mine, holding them tight. Then I reach out, catching a tear streaking down his cheek. His eyes stay pinched shut. “God, you’re such a crier.” He opens his eyes, laughing wetly.
“You’re so mean to me.”
“I think you’re forgetting something,” I say. “I can’t live without you either. You’re the most important person to me. Why would I ever stop loving you now? If we were to break up for some reason, it’s not going to be because we don’t love each other or we hate each other. It’s going to be because we’re just better as friends.” He cups my face and I go on. “You always find your way back to me. If something happens, I promise I’ll always find my way back to you.”
He tugs me gently into his lap, where I fit perfectly against him. “I need you to promise me that if this doesn’t work out, we’ll put the work in, even if there are hurt feelings between us. I can’t lose you. I need you in my life. If I can’t talk to you, hang out with you, play games, watch movies, listen to you sing . . . We need to stay friends.”
My hands land on either side of Cam’s handsome face. “I will never ever cheat on you, or use you, and I sure as hell won’t stop talking to you. If this doesn’t work, we will work it out. I want to give you the best of everything. You deserve it.” Cam is fully crying now, and I hold his face. This big baby, who I love more than anything. “I love you so much. I’ve been in love with you for almost as long as I’ve known you.” My thumbs brush under his eyes. “I don’t want your money, or outrageous gestures and gifts. All I want is a shot to be the one to give you everything you’ve been missing.”
Cam buries his face into my neck, and all I can do is hold him tight, my fingers tangled in his hair. I almost flinch feeling his lips press to my neck. A shiver runs up my spine. A moan slips from my lips feeling another kiss press to my throat. Pullingback, his liquid eyes meet mine. I’m not sure what he’s searching for. I lean in, though, kissing him softly.
Cam breaks the kiss, pulling back a little. “A real shot.” He nods. “I want to give this a real shot, Bo.” Before I can say a word he captures my lips again. I’m dizzy with want. The reality of this is still sinking in. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and now that it’s actually mine I can’t believe it. Still, I give up control. Cam grips me harder. This is real. This is happening. “Tell me again, Bo.”
My fingers run through his hair, holding him tightly to me. “I love you, Cam. I’ve always loved you.” Cam grips my thighs, and standing with me in his arms, he lays me back on the bed before reaching behind himself to pull his wet shirt off. My eyes drink in the miles of golden brown skin.
Mine.
Mine to taste, to touch.
This is unreal. I can’t believe this is really happening.
Cam crawls onto the bed between my thighs, spreading them with his knees. Leaning down to me, he kisses me slowly. I don’t know what happened in his past relationships, but I can safely say that kissing Cam is the best thing to ever happen to me. His warm lips instantly calm my mind. His tongue gently pushes the seam of my lips open, and I let him in with a groan. My hands find his skin, smoothing over the expanse of his muscular back. Now that I have this, I can’t stop touching. I don’t want to.
My palms run down his chest, feeling every dip and line of his stomach until I reach his happy trail. This is fucking happening. Holy shit. His scent and heat are driving me crazy. “The tattoo?”
I hold his wrist up, smiling at the wrapped tattoo. “He used this new skin wrap. You can’t even see it.”
“Why did you get it?”
“I think the strawberry banana is obvious why, but I got it there because the other night you kissed me there. The othernight is when it really sunk in for me. It’s much more than sex, Bo. More than I’ve ever felt.” He sucks a bruise onto my throat before he guides me up to take my shirt off. Ah, hello insecurity, my dear old friend. My hands instinctively go to my stomach.
“What’s wrong?”
I let my hands fall to my sides, trying to let these feelings ease a bit. Cam wants me, and it’s not the first time he’s seen me shirtless. It’s just, seeing how beautiful he is compared to me is hard. “You’re just . . . gorgeous.” I hate to bring this up, but I'm not hiding anything from him again. “That guy you were with. I thought maybe he was . . . your type.”
Cam frowns, his brows pinching cutely. He lowers nearly his full weight on top of me, laying his head on my chest. My fingers run through his curls as his head rests near my heart. “I don’t know whether you know this, Bobo, but I’m pretty sure you specifically are my type.” He squeezes me once before getting up and hovering over me. His scent is driving me crazy, this subtle masculine scent that is strictly Cam. “I only want you, Bo.”
“No more running away. I can’t take it anymore.”
“No more. I promise.”
This is a risk. I know it is. But we’ve survived so much, so why wouldn’t we survive this? This will work. I have to believe it will. There’s no one on earth I trust more than him.
Happiness swells inside my chest. Cam is mine. Only mine. I’ve always been his. I just had to wait for him to realize he has always been mine. Cam’s lips and hands are everywhere, every touch setting little fires across my skin.
Cam pulls back suddenly, looking down at me like a deer in headlights. “No. Don’t you dare walk out on me right now, Camden Elizabeth Almeida!”
Cam laughs sharply before he leans down, catching one of my nipples between his teeth. The sting is sharp but the heat in my belly is a soft caress. “Not my middle name, Bobo.” He sits backon his heels, looking down. “I have to say, I don’t know how to do this. I’m a little embarrassed. I’m nervous, that’s all.” Cam tugs me against him. “This is just . . . I don’t know.”
