“I love you too, Bobo.” Cam kisses the side of my face and laughs when I push him off me. I’m a goner.
I am weak.
Grabbing an extra pillow, I lay it on the other side of the bed. This is a terrible idea. It’s one thing to let him stay here; it’sanother to have him sleep in bed with me. Especially considering he’s the star of all my wet dreams. I just know I’ll wake up with a boner.
Shit, what if he does?
No, I can do this. Taking a few extra blankets, I tuck them in the middle. “Really? A pillow wall?” Cam scoffs in mock offense. “Am I that repulsive to you?”
“Yes,” I deadpan, finishing up my makeshift wall.
“Are you expecting zombies? White walkers?”
“Just humor me.”
“My heterosexualness isn’t contagious. Don’t worry, it won’t rub off on you.”
“Shut up.”
“I won’t poke you with my dick, I promise.” Ah yes, because that would be the worst possible thing for me, Camden! I’m losing my patience. “This is ridiculous. I want a damn cuddle!”
“This is an anti-cuddle fence. Do not cross it.” Fluffing up the blankets between us, I smile at my work. “Perfect.”
“Stupid.” Clothes rustle, and my eyes snap up just as Cam is peeling off his sweater to reveal his sculpted golden-brown chest. I salivate and hate myself all over. I am so, so fucked. Why? What have I done to deserve this?
“Is that necessary?”
“You know I sleep naked.” My eyes widen. “Chill. Keeping my boxers on, don’t worry.”
Yeah . . . really worried. I would really, really hate that. “Have some decorum! This is my sanctuary.”
“Do my nipples offend thee?” Camden covers his brown nipples with two fingers each.
He’s ridiculous.
The only thing offensive about them is how badly I want them in my mouth. Ignoring me, Cam gets in on his side of the blanket wall, throwing one muscled arm over it and grinning. Patience.Give me patience. In my sleep pants and T-shirt I go to the wall and flick off the lights. “Bo!”
“Really, Cam?!”
“Please.” The panic in his voice snags the attitude away from me.
“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” Going to my closet I grab the Cam support basket I keep in there. It’s filled with Cam’s items, like the chargers for all his electronics in case he has to do work here for the gym, backup USBs just in case, and Cam’s favorite sweater that may or may not be one size too small for him now and is definitely not worn by me when I’m all alone here in my apartment. There’s also a night light, copies of his favorite anime, and a few other odds and ends. “I need to replenish your snacks. You ate them all last time.” Cam stays quiet and I almost sigh, plugging the light in and looking over at my friend. “Better?” I’m not going to tease him. Cam’s aversion to the dark may seem silly to some, but it’s no joke—he’s afraid of the dark and thunderstorms.
He visibly calms and I finally lie beside him. “Thank you. Wait! Who ate my snacks?”
I shake my head. “You did, the last time we did this.”
“I’ll buy more tomorrow. I’ll put extra in there.” Sure thing. I have no doubt he’ll eat anything we buy tomorrow in one day. Cam is a human garbage disposal.
I try to get comfortable, so aware of him next to me. Camden throws one leg over the wall, hugging it like a body pillow. “That defeats the purpose of said wall.”
“You know I like to cuddle shit, especially if I’m sad. If it’s not going to be you, it’s going to be the wall.” Cam grins, closing his eyes. “You know, this is actually comfortable.” Watching him, my chest squeezes. He’s so hot it hurts to look at. Pretty and handsome and somehow also cute and hot as hell. And kind. Cam is the kindest person I’ve ever met.
Cam is everything I’m not. My skin is pale, sickly chic as I like to call it. I’m short, and my dull brown eyes are nothing compared to Cam’s brilliant amber ones. My black hair is straight and lifeless compared to his brown curls. I’m thin where Cam is athletic and built.
I’m stupid to want anything. Even if Cam did like guys, why would he like me?
I look away, unable to look at him anymore. This is not great, but I have no choice. Cam needs me, and I have to get my shit together long enough to nurse his broken heart, until the next woman comes along to take him from me. Tomorrow I’m getting a mattress, though, because I can’t do this every night. As we get older it’s getting harder and harder to ignore the things I feel. I want Cam here, I do. I just can’t have him sleeping next to me, confusing my brain.
