Air flows into my lungs the second he leaves, and I just barely keep myself from choking on it. “I’m sorry.” I mutter the words as I practically fall out of my chair, rushing for the door.
“Emmy. Wait, please.”
My hand freezes on the doorknob. The heat of him warms my back, and I know he’s suddenly behind me. All I would have to do is take a step and his arms would be around me.
I take the step, but his arms stay by his side.
“Thank you.”
Turning around slowly, I find myself mere inches away from him. He’s there in my bubble, his pine-and-charcoal scent filling my nose, his warmth wrapping me up like a fuzzy blanket. My eyes travel slowly from his chest up to his face. He finally makes eye contact with me, and the force of it knocks my breath right out of my chest.
“I shouldn’t have gone off on him like that. I’m sorry.” I clench my fists to keep from reaching out for him.
“Don’t be sorry. I appreciate you defending me.” He runs a hand through his hair. It’s longer now, like he hasn’t had it cut since we’ve been apart. “I was just surprised to hear you say nice things about me.”
Okay. I deserved that.
“I still care about you, Grayson. Those feelings didn’t just magically disappear.” I rock forward on my toes ever so slightly, needing to be closer to him.
“Normally when I care about someone, I don’t completely cut them off without any kind of explanation.” He takes a small step back, putting distance between us but making it easier for me to meet his gaze.
I take another deep breath, realizing that wedoneed to have this conversation. It should have happened days ago, but I was too chickenshit. It needs to happen now.
I release the breath I totally knew I was holding. “I heard you and Kevin, that night at the party.”
His brow furrows. “Okay?”
I blink slowly, unsure of how that isn’t enough of an explanation. “I overheard you and Kevin talking about how you were pretending to have feelings for me so you could get more opportunities for serious roles.”
The confused look remains in his eyes for a second until it finally seems to click. His forehead smooths and his lips purse.
I wait for the guilt and the shame, but that’s not what I find in the depths of those stupid blue eyes.
“You’re telling me you heard me and Kevin talking?”
I nod.
“And you listened to the entire conversation?” His arms cross over his chest, his muscles bulging, not that I should be paying attention to his forearms at a time like this.
I swallow thickly. “I left when you said you’d had no problem faking feelings for me.”
He nods, and it’s knowing and a bit condescending and it feels like we’re back at day one on set. “So you missed the rest of that sentence. The part where I said I had no problem faking any feelings for you because they were a hundred percent real and I was madly in love with you.”
I try to work my throat again, but a huge lump seems to have lodged itself in tight.
“Did you miss that part?” Sarcasm drenches his words, doing a poor job of covering the hurt and anger underneath.
I don’t respond because I don’t know what to say. How could I have gotten it all so wrong?
Grayson steps toward me, but there’s no warmth radiating from him now. “So you eavesdropped on my conversation, took my words out of context, and bolted before giving me a chance to explain. Then, you completely cut me off without the courtesy of even one fucking conversation? Did I get that all right?”
“Yes.” I bury my face in my hands. “Fuck, Grayson. I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t know because you didn’t let me tell you. And you didn’t let me tell you because you automatically assumed the worst of me.” He retreats a few steps, opening the chasm between us. “Jesus, Emmy. How could you think that about me? How could you think I would do that to you?”
I pull myself up to my full height. “Well, Kevin didn’t just get that idea from nowhere. That conversation had to be grounded in something. So was that your original plan? Pretend you like me so that any relationship between us could improve your image?”
His hand floats up like he wants to reach for me, but he clenches his fist and drops it at his side. “Kevin might have been hoping for something like that. Who the hell knows, and why does it even matter? I fell in love with you for the first time when I was seventeen years old, Ems. I was never faking anything.”
