“But you were happy to go along with it?”
He throws his arms out to the side. “Yeah, sure. I let my prick of a manager think I was playing along so he’d drop it! To me, I knew none of it mattered.”
“You could have told me.”
“I swear I was going to, when the time was right.”
I’ve kept my emotions pretty in check, but the look of utter defeat in his eyes brings the water springing to mine. I purse my lips to hold back the sob. “I’m sorry. I should have given you a chance. I fucked up, Grayson. And I’m sorry.” My voice breaks on the last word, and the tears spill over.
He sighs, but it takes him less than a second to sweep me up in his arms, tucking my head under his chin, letting my tears stain his shirt. My arms snake around his waist, and it feels so good to hold him again, his strength steadying me.
Sniffling, I pull away just enough to be able to look up at him. “Do you think you can give me a second chance?”
His thumbs swipe underneath my eyes, wiping away the last of my tears. He doesn’t say anything but steps outof my embrace. “When you defended me to that reporter, Ems, I’ve never had someone stand up for me like that before. But the truth of the matter is, you didn’t have faith in me. You didn’t believe in me when it really counted.”
I nod, wiping at my nose. “It won’t happen again. I promise. I know who you are, Grayson.”
“I don’t think that’s enough,” he says quietly, the pain lacing through his words.
Words that punch me directly in the chest, knocking the wind out of me and kick-starting a fresh wave of tears.
He crosses toward me, and for a blissful five seconds, I think he’s going to forgive me and sweep me off my feet.
Instead, he places a single kiss on the top of my head. “I’m sorry, Emmy.”
“Yeah, me, too.” But the words only reach an empty room. Grayson has already left, the door clicking shut behind him.
Liz:Feeling any better today?
Me:I can’t turn on my TV without seeing myself screaming at a reporter, defending the man I’m one hundred percent in love with, the same one who (rightfully) can’t forgive me for being a heinous asshole.
Liz:Should I bring over some wine?
Me:I don’t know. I’m very comfortable sitting in this chair, staring aimlessly out the window while a camera circles me and Muse plays in the background.
Liz:If you’re making Twilight jokes then you must be feeling somewhat better.
Me:*shrug*
Me:I don’t deserve to feel better.
Liz:Knock that shit off, right now.
Liz:You made a mistake, something people do literally every single day. Grayson has the right to respond to that mistake however he chooses, but you do not deserve to feel like shit for the rest of your life because of it.
Me:If I promise to stop beating up on myself, can I skip the premiere?
Liz:No.
Liz:But you should still stop beating up on yourself.
Liz:You’re a good person and I love you.
Me:Thank you, friend. Love you, too.
Mom:Is it weird that I keep watching your video on repeat?
Me:Oh my god, Mom, seriously?
