“I thought the same thing. But it’s the fastest way to get rid of him, and I don’t want him hanging around here. That’s why I need to leave tomorrow, too. If he sees me leaving there’ll be no reason for him to stick around.”
“Tomorrow?” I suck in a mouthful of air and hold it, which almost masks the sharp pain that spears through my chest. Almost.
“Yeah. He’s never been good news, but he seemed more off than usual today. My mom wants to take that as a good thing, but I’m not buying it.” He picks up his shirts from where they’re draped over a chair in the corner and stuffs them in his bag. “I think leaving will draw him away, and I don’t want him anywhere near you. Besides, I still have to swing back through Utah to get my trailer before heading to Arizona, so leaving earlier gives me more time for that.”
“Makes sense.” I can barely hear the words over the pounding of my heart.Is this it? Is it goodbye?
Something about my tone must give me away even though I tried to hide it. Axel crosses the room and pulls me to his chest, enclosing me in his arms as he rests his head against mine. “I’d feel a whole lot better about leaving if I knew you were going to meet me there.”
I wrap my arms around his waist. “You think knowing your next orgasm is imminent will make you ride better?” I borrow a page from his book and try to make this dirty instead of serious.
He cups my jaw so I’m forced to look at him. “I think I’ll ride better if I’m not wondering if or when I’ll see you again, yeah.”
“You can see me whenever you want. You know where I live.” I close my eyes and exhale as he kisses along my jaw.
“You haven’t invited me back.” He works his way to my neck.
“I didn’t invite you this time.” I tilt my head to give him better access.
“A lot has changed since then.” He tugs the neck of my T-shirt aside and kisses along my collar bone. “Ask me.”
“Will you come back?” It comes out more raspy and needy than I intended, but he’s making me feel too good to care. I tilt my head back as he pulls my shirt over my head and grips my waist as he kisses over my pecs.
“Yes, I’ll come back.” He flicks his tongue over my nipple. “On one condition.”
I hold his head to me as he sucks it into his mouth. “What?”
He lets my nipple go with an audible pop. “Come to Arizona. Two days, then you can come back here.” His fingers ghost over the bulge in my shorts.
“You’re using sex to get me to say yes?”
“Is it working?” He nuzzles my neck as his fingers slip inside them and stroke over my crown.
“Fuck.” I exhale.
“That’s the idea. I’ll bury myself inside you and stay there all night if you say you’ll meet me in Arizona.”
I want to, not only because he’s got me on the brink, but because just once I want to be the face he searches for in the crowd. The one he wraps in his arms and holds tight after the competition, whatever the outcome. I want it so much it terrifies me.
“And if I don’t?”
“If you don’t, I leave you just as desperate as you make me.” His finger stills, and while I don’t think it’s just physical desperation he’s referring to, I let myself believe it is. That will make it easier to move on when he doesn’t come back to Katah Vista, which I don’t expect him to do.
I don’t think he’s being deliberately misleading when he says he’ll come back, but I suspect that once Axel resumes the routine of being on the circuit, he’ll find he doesn’t have time to make detours back here. And I don’t have time to go to him. Pretending otherwise is only delaying the inevitable, although I can’t quite bring myself to admit that yet.
The realist in me knows this can’t continue—long distance never works out—but I still want a taste of his life, even if that’s all it can be.So, I’ll do this one trip, something both of us can hang on to once this thing between us is over. I won’t hold any expectations beyond that.
Axel’s finger slips off my cock as I step away and put my hands on his chest, pushing him to the bed. “It’s gonna be a long night.” I follow as he falls onto the mattress, freeing his dick from his shorts before I drop mine to the floor.
“Thank god,” he groans as I pull his dick into my mouth, which he gives me all night long, just as promised.
***
My stomach drops, and not from the turbulence outside the plane, or the fear of something going wrong at Murphy’s when I’m not there to fix it. This queasiness is courtesy of the man I foolishly agreed to meet at the worst possible time for my career.What have I done?
Damn his sinfully sexy body which I know as well as my own. Damn his soulful amber eyes and full lips, which make me say yes when I should say no. Damn him for making me want what I can’t have.
I was perfectly content before he came along. Fulfilled by work, I never thought twice about choosing my career over my social life or coming home to an empty house. I’d crave sex from time to time, but even that I could usually find, and those trysts would hold me over for months. Now, my old existence seems empty, and it’s all his fault.
