I’ve been denying it to everyone, denying it to myself, but the truth is I don’t want my old life back. I want Axel. But how can I have him without giving up everything I’ve worked for?
I’m smarter than this. I knew getting involved with a man would probably result in a broken heart, although I never thought I’d be theone to do the breaking. And I will be. I don’t know when, I don’t know how, but I do know it’s coming. The longer this goes on the more likely it becomes that Axel will view my career as a hindrance, something that keeps me from going where he goes. And he’ll want me to give it up.
That thought doesn’t piss me off as much as it used to. In fact, I can see the logic in it. After all, it’s what happened to my parents. Dad earned more so Mom stayed home with me. It worked until he traded her in for a younger model. But I willneverput myself in the position where I have to rely on a partner to support me. Which means, I willnevergive up my career. That’s why—when he inevitably asks me to follow him around—I’ll be the one to end this.
My stomach plummets again, and not because we’re making our final descent.
Axel and I are flirting with the impossible right now, pretending that there’s a future where we make sense. The longer we do it the worse it will hurt when it ends. I know that, yet I still got on the plane.
I’m not ready to give him up. I don’t think I can, at least not until he forces my hand. And if I’m being totally honest, there’s a part of me that hopes he never does.
He knows why I’m so committed to my job, and if he respects that he’ll never ask me to sacrifice it for him. I want to believe that could happen. Then I think about how much I’ve missed him after only three days. If he missed me even half as much, he’ll try to convince me to travel with him. That means there’s a very real possibility this weekend will be our last together.
I don’t want that thought in the back of my mind, hanging like a cloud over us, but I’m a realist not a romantic. My mind won’t get swept up in fantasies of happily ever after, no matter how much myheart wants it to happen. I’m not wired that way. It doesn’t stop me from racing toward him as soon as I spot him at the passenger pickup.
Axel wears a sexy grin as he spreads his arms so I can collapse into them. He picks me up and spins us around as he fuses our mouths together, erasing my earlier thoughts with the gentle swipe of his tongue.
A groan rumbles up from his throat as he sets me on the ground and cups my face in his palms for a soft, achingly tender kiss. “I could get used to that. Hello, little devil.” He breathes into me.
My brain drifts into panic mode while my heart picks up tempo. ““We’re back to that nickname?”
“Well, you do look sexy as sin right now.” He brushes his thumb over my bottom lip and gives me another sweet kiss. “Let’s get out of here.”
He takes my bag off my shoulder and slings it over his own as he links our fingers together, pulling me toward the parking lot. A few heads swing in our direction as we pass.Is he that recognizable?If he notices, he doesn’t acknowledge it. When we stop at a large pickup, he opens the passenger door and helps me climb inside.
“I didn’t know you could drive anything with more than two wheels.” I can’t help grinning at my little joke.
“I’ve gotta pull the trailer somehow.” He grins right back. “Plus, I wasn’t sure if your bag would fit on the back of my bike.”
“How much stuff did you expect me to bring for two days?”
His face turns a faint shade of pink as he backs out of the parking space. “The guys said women don’t travel light, and I think since you wear skirts, they assume you have other feminine traits like overpacking, and in case they were right I figured I should be prepared.”
“Who are the guys? The ones that came to Katah Vista?”
The pink spreads higher on his cheeks. “Them… and pretty much everyone else.” My jaw drops. “I had to get you a visitor pass to access the pit area where we park the trailers, and I usually never have a reason to get another pass, so everyone was asking who was coming, and…yeah.” He presses his lips together and stares out the windshield.
I’m well aware that Axel tells me things he doesn’t share freely, mostly because he doesn’t look me in the eye when he’s making those admissions, but I’ve never known him to ramble. It’s adorable, and endearing, and almost makes me want to go back on the promises I made to myself about not giving up my priorities for his.Almost.
“Just so I’m clear, no one is expecting you to show up with a woman though, right?”
“They shouldn’t be.” I didn’t think it was possible, but the pink in his cheeks intensifies. “Although I’m pretty sure a few of them assume I’m fucking with them since I said my boyfriend looks sexy in a skirt.”
“Boyfriend, huh?” My voice is surprisingly level considering I can feel my heartbeat all the way in my fingers.
“Too soon?” He tightens his grip on the steering wheel, knuckles going briefly white, before he seems to forcibly relax his fingers.
Despite my racing heartbeat, a sensation I’d normally associate with panic, there’s an uncharacteristic warmth in my chest. A sense of calm amid the chaos of being so outside my comfort zone, far from home and sitting next to a man I sometimeswantto prove me wrong when I think this can’t work.
“It’s as good a label as any, I guess.”
Axel exhales slightly—it’s not the resounding yes he probably wanted, but not a no either—and nods without taking his eyes off the road.
“Tell me, what’s going on with Murphy’s?” He rubs the bridge of his nose like he needs to do something with his hands besides holding the steering wheel. “Did you make any progress on your expansion?”
Though I’m grateful for the change of subject, it serves as a reminder of just how well Axel knows me. “The lease is signed, and I’ll take possession next month, so all that’s left to do is figure out the menu and hire.”
“Wouldn’t you just have the same menu?” He pulls up to the booth and slides his card in the slot so we can exit the parking area.
