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To save him from my wrath.
But looking at the devastation in her eyes now…
“Ana…” My throat clogs with unfamiliar emotion.
“What, do you need to fuck me again and see inside my head before you believe me?” Her words are harsh and caustic. But I see the pain in her eyes. And the truth.
She is not like the females of my race. She does not deal in manipulation and deceit.
She is my Ana. My mate.
I misunderstood. When I broke through the window, they were not kissing. She never said anything to encourage him. But I assumed—
I assumed wrong. Because I was afraid of losing her.
And I have injured her dearly. After I swore I would protect her.
I lift her from her seat and pull her into my lap.
“I’m sorry. Ana.” I cup her cheeks as she so often does mine but she averts her eyes out the window. “Ana,” I cry harshly and finally she looks at me. “I am a fool. I am sorry. I am sorry. I have failed you.”
I bow my head into her chest and beg the ancients that she will not renounce me as her mate.
She’s stiff in my arms, unresponsive to my pleas, and I clutch her tighter.
Finally, finally, thank the ancients, she begins to soften in my grasp and her arms return my embrace, twining around my neck.
She lets out a long breath against my hair. “It’s okay,” she murmurs. “It was just a bad day.”
I shake my head. “It is not okay. What can I do in penance?” I urge her back from me, as much as it pains me to let her go. But I must right what I have wronged. No matter the price.
“I will sever my right hand,” I say with finality. I don’t have my slyathe but I could probably borrow one from Shak.
“Ha ha,” Ana says, laughing a little as she swipes at her tears. “Funny joke.”
I frown. “My Ana, I am not joking. I have wronged you grievously. I must pay penance.”
She stares at me a moment. “Wait, you’re serious?”
She doesn’t believe I mean my oath? “I will cut off my right hand and spend years in servitude.”
She jerks back from me, though she stays in my lap. “What the fuck are you talking about, Ezo?”
“Penance.” Did she not hear me the first time? “I know I must do penance for my offense, my Ana, but I will pay any price. I should not have caused you such pain.”
“So you think cutting off your hand is going to fix things?”
My stomach tightens. I’m a fool and now I could lose her. I shake my head. “No, I know it is too small a thing. But I promise ten years and servitude, no, fifty years, if you will only—”
“Ezo! Stop it!” She’s angry and I’m only making things worse.
I stop, the sick feeling inside me growing. Why can’t I say the right thing? What can I do so she’ll allow me to stay with her? “Please don’t send me away,” I plead, and I don’t care that I’m begging. I would crawl at her feet if only she would not send me away. “Tell me what I must do.”
“If I make a mistake, are you going to demand that I chop off my hand?”
“What?” I say explosively. Horror chokes me at the thought. “No!”
She takes a deep breath in and closes her eyes like she’s trying to calm herself. She is preparing to send me away.
I shut my mouth before I can utter any more pleas. If she has made a decision, I will abide it, no matter the suffering it causes me.
When she opens her eyes again, though, they’re soft and a jolt of shock rushes through me when she reaches out and touches my face tenderly.
“Don’t they have forgiveness where you come from?”
Forgiveness. It’s a human word that has no translation in Draci. Though I know the shape and sound of it, and that it has something to do with a transaction after wrongdoing. What, exactly, I never understood.
“I… I am unsure. What is it?”
Her face softens even more. “Forgiveness is when someone makes a mistake and they’re genuinely sorry for it. They wish they hadn’t done it or could take it back.”
I nod my head vigorously. “Yes. This is what I feel,” I say in a rush. “This is forgiveness?”
She shakes her head. “No, forgiveness is what the other person does. The person who has been wronged. You make a mistake and I know you regret it, so I forgive you.”
I wait for her to say more but she doesn’t. “But what must I do?”
“You don’t have to do anything,” she says. “You just keep on being you and I’ll be me. Sometimes we’ll make mistakes. We’ll fight. And then we’ll forgive each other.”
“But what happens then? When does the penance occur?”
