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“Lucian, you’re really scaring me. Should I call your sister?”
“No.” It was barely a whisper. She never saw Lucian cry, didn’t believe he was capable of such a thing, but when he looked up at her she swore she saw tears shimmering through the defeated look in his eyes. “We need to take a break.”
Ice zipped through her veins, pulling her spine straight and sucking all her breath away. “What? Why?”
“If you won’t say you’ll marry me, we need to take a break.”
What kind of fucked-up reasoning was that? She scowled indignantly. “Why?”
“Because . . . we just do. One month apart without communicating. After that month we can get back together and—”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Now she was mad. “Why are you making all these rules? None of this makes any sense. Lucian, I’m sorry I’m not ready for marriage. Five months ago I was a totally different person. You need to give me time to adjust to all this. I barely know how to be normal, let alone be someone’s wife. You’re being unreasonable.”
“Will you wear the ring?”
A sharp ringing sang in her ears. She wanted to punch something and scream. “I told you. No.”
“Then we need to take a break—”
“Because I won’t marry you?”
“There’s an apartment. It’s paid for. I’ll pay the rent as long as you want, but I hope this only takes a month—”
This was not happening. The apartment was for her! She saw red.
“Fuck you, Patras!” She practically spat the words. “I won’t be manipulated and I don’t do ultimatums. What’s wrong with the way things were? Why this sudden need to get married? And now you’re kicking me out! Don’t bother. I’ll fucking leave.”
Her hands were trembling. She had to remain angry or she feared she would die. She couldn’t acknowledge the hurt lancing her chest, the horrible, aching disappointment and heartache taking over her body. She needed to keep moving.
“Evelyn, I love you. It won’t be forever. Thirty days, I swear it, and we can return to normal. I give you my word—”
“Who does that? This is ridiculous! I don’t understand why you would want a break at all if you already know you’ll want me back. Why do we need a break? You’re messing with my head on purpose.”
She wiped her eyes and realized her cheeks were wet. Fuck.
Lucian stood and slowly approached her. She didn’t want him to touch her. She’d break if he laid one finger on her, but she would shatter if she tried to move. She was holding it together by a thread.
We were only supposed to play chess.
Her finger brushed away more tears as he stepped close. His hands took hers. A moan uttered past her lips, a bit of the pain seeping out.
“I’m sorry, love. Please don’t cry.”
Her shoulder shook. “Why are you doing this?”
His eyes shut for a long moment. When they opened they shimmered with unshed tears. “I have to.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I know. It’s just something I have to do. No matter what, Evelyn, I will be here in a month. I’ll spend every day thinking about you, wondering if you’re okay. It’s going to kill me not to be able to call and hear your voice.”
“Why? Why can’t you call me? Lucian, please . . . you aren’t making any sense.”
He kissed her knuckles, whispering over her fingers as though praying to himself. “Promise you’ll come back. No matter what, promise you won’t . . .” He bowed his head, gripping her fingers tight and pressing them hard to his lips. There was something he wasn’t telling her. “I need you, Evelyn. I’m nothing without you.”
Why? Why? Why? Why?
After all of his lectures on honesty being necessary for trust, he expected her to trust him now when he was obviously keeping secrets from her? She yanked her hands from his, her anger back in spades. “Then don’t do this to us. When you love someone you don’t throw them away for no reason!”
“I’m not throwing you away. God—”
“Then what the fuck is this? You’re sending me to live in some apartment for a month—” The apartment he had been on the phone talking about. Her fists beat into his chest. “You planned this! You knew you were going to send me away and gave me no warning! I trusted you to never abandon me without warning and that’s exactly what you’re doing!”
He caught her fists and restrained her. “No, Evelyn! I planned on coming here and leaving with your promise to be my wife.”
“So you’re punishing me?”
“This is more a punishment to me than anyone!” he roared.
With some superhuman strength, she yanked her hands away. She glared at him with scathing anger. “I respected you. I thought you were a man of your word. I trusted you.” She stepped back. “I can barely look at you now. I don’t believe you. I think you knew I’d say no. You did this on purpose because you’re too much of a coward to break up with me.”
