Page 129 of The Heart (The Siren)

Both Thalia and Ava had lost almost all of their money in the wake of Nix’s death. My mom had enough to last her several months and she hoped she wouldn’t have to move now that she had a good job, but Thalia’s mom was slowly sliding into destitution.

I knew the second Mallory explained about the trust that I would eventually help Sloane’s family and Sloane go to college. Right now both of us had used student loans and meager scholarships to cover our first year. But this was much better.

Now we could go to college without worrying about money or how we would pay for living.

I couldn’t tell Sloane about my plans to be her sugar mama though, because she would think I pitied her and she would hate it. So I would have to be sneaky about it.

But she wouldn’t be able to argue with me about the apartment. Neither of us was cut out for communal living. The ghosts of our pasts were still too fresh. Both of us suffered from nightmares, sometimes night terrors; and then there were all those times we would just break down and start sobbing… Sometimes the depression would last an hour, sometimes it would last days.

College was a step in the right direction, but we needed time.

Sloane needed a lot of time.

Phoenix pulled Sloane into a conversation about good apartments near the downtown Lincoln campus. Phoenix’s hand gestures sometimes scared Sloane, but she was learning how to handle him.

He had been devastated about Exie. Nothing about her death or what I had shared with him about our lives made sense to him, but he was a good enough friend that none of it mattered. He supported Sloane and me in the way he did everything, with all of him. And even though he hadn’t loved Exie, he still mourned her with us, her death still cost him something.

He was the best kind of friend and I was so lucky to have him in my life.

Ryder’s hand rubbed my back and he leaned in again. “You okay?” he asked with a kiss to my temple.

I turned my head so he could drop a kiss on my lips. “I am,” I told him honestly. “I’m really okay.”

His answering smile caused a riot of butterflies in my stomach. Ryder was everything he had always been, attentive, loving, intuitive and… just him. I wouldn’t have gotten through any of this without him by my side.

He was always there to let me cry on him, to talk me through some of my darkest memories and to remind me that nothing that happened had been my fault.

I loved him more than ever… more than I had ever loved anything.

And I knew, without any doubts or fears, that he felt the same way about me.

His dad and uncle were thrilled when we came back and announced we would be staying. They were part of my family too these days. They loved and accepted me, they approved of my relationship with Ryder and they wanted the best for both of us.

I had never been loved like I was today. I had never had this kind of family or acceptance.

For the first time in my life, I had people I could trust and rely on. Once upon a time, I believed that I would be alone or lonely every single day of my life. And now I had this.

I didn’t always believe I was deserving of these gifts, but I wouldn’t give them up for anything.

“I love you,” I told Ryder just because, just because he was sitting here and I was close to him and because I couldn’t help it.

“I love you too, Red.” He wrapped me in his arms and held me against his chest where I felt the strong beat of his heart thump against my own… my heart that wasn’t broken… that wasn’t split or shattering or empty… my heart that was filled to the brim with love, that was whole and full and solid. His words wrapped around that same heart and his promises filled my lungs with the sweetest air.

I wasn’t just living anymore.

I was breathing too.