AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m man enough to admit what I want, Jenna.”
“Prove it.”
There was no other way to do this. There was no happy ending between them unless they remained as friends, but was that even an option at this point? Could he honestly look her in the eye and lie about his feelings? He could if he wanted her to forget this notion that the two of them had any type of deeper relationship to build on.
“Wanting you physically has never been the issue,” he told her, steeling himself against the fierce determination in her eyes. “But we’re done. Not that I wouldn’t mind another dose of what you were offering, but let’s be honest. We’re back home now, reality has settled back in and everything that happened in Bora Bora needs to stay there.”
Those gorgeous eyes narrowed and Mac knew he’d struck a nerve, just as he’d intended. The knife he’d used to shred this bond was cutting into him and he was going to hate himself when she walked out of here. But at least she’d be safe, away from his lifestyle, and eventually move on with a man who had a completely legal job. Someone who didn’t kill enemies who pissed him off one too many times. Someone who wasn’t targeted by dangerous criminals dealing in death.
“You can’t lie to me,” she stated. “I know you. I know what we had in Bora Bora was real and I know there was something deeper there than just sex.”
He said nothing. She was right, but he wasn’t about to admit it. He admired her bravery. She’d come so far in such a short amount of time and he couldn’t help but feel a swell of pride in knowing he helped her find her self-esteem.
“You can push me away, that’s fine,” she went on, taking a step back and crossing her arms over her chest. “But you’ll be miserable and you’ll always wonder what would’ve happened if you had taken a risk. Isn’t that what you O’Sheas do? Take risks?”
She was on fire. The more she talked, the more intense her tone became. She didn’t raise her voice, but kept it calm, controlled. Much more lethal that way.
Mac had never been drawn to a meek woman and Jenna LeBlanc was definitely not meek. She was strong, hard-headed, stubborn and determined. He wouldn’t expect anything less than a fight because when Jenna wanted something, she went after it. So did he.
“You’re more than welcome to stay, but I’m about one minute from falling face-first into bed.”
Throwing her arms out to the side, she shook her head and sent him a mock laugh. “Go right ahead. Don’t let me get in the way. But remember this, you’re the one who let me walk out of here. You’re the one who is throwing away something that could be amazing.”
Yeah, that was adding salt to the wound. He was fully aware of the life he was throwing away. But the life she wanted, the life she deserved, wasn’t the life he could offer her. Constantly keeping secrets, not opening up to her about his work, having to take private calls without her overhearing, would all be too much for a relationship to bear.
“It’s for the best.” He barely recognized his own voice.
She quirked a brow. “Really? Because you think you’re protecting me? Because you are afraid to fully let me in? Do you think I’m not aware that what your family does isn’t completely on the up-and-up? I’m not naive, Mac. Did you ever stop to consider that I’m stronger than you think?”
Shoving his hands in his pockets in an attempt to prevent himself from touching her, Mac nodded. “I’m fully aware how strong you are, Jenna. You’re one of the strongest people I know. But anything between us beyond friendship isn’t possible.”
“You think we can just return to being friends now?” Her eyes held his as if she truly thought he had a simple answer for such a complex question.
“That’s our only option. You’ll find someone you love and you’ll spend the rest of your life with him. You’ll wear your mother’s wedding dress and get that fairy tale you want.”
“You think that’s what this is? Me looking for some fairy tale?” Jenna turned, paced his bedroom. “I didn’t get swept into the moment on the island, Mac. I spent more time with you, I got to know more of you and I opened more of myself to you than I ever had before.”
“Which will only make our friendship stronger,” he stated, as if that justified her deep connection and let him off the hook from feeling any more for her.
Standing here before her, he knew full well he was being a jerk, but he literally saw no other way out of this. Making her unhappy now would help simplify her life and make her happier in the long run. He had to remain detached from that longing look in her eyes, that questioning stare full of the hope that he was shattering.
