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Knox had ceased being her business when he walked out of her life.
2
KNOX INSTRUCTED Jessup to wait for them in the airstrip center—the dog was normally very well disciplined, but Knox cut the canine some slack. He understood. Knox had never been much of a hugger, but he’d had an almost overwhelming urge to touch Trudie, to feel her warmth next to his, to inhale her scent. He had, however, not done any of those things. He wasn’t sure that Trudie would welcome a hug from him these days. He wasn’t so great at people interactions but he was tuned into animals and she’d reminded him of a wounded cat that called for a very cautious approach.
He held the door leading from the airstrip to Gus’s for Trudie. Her scent, the sound of her voice, her presence stirred a slew of memories—of Christmases past, nearly a lifetime past, decorating Christmas trees, cross-country skiing. She’d assisted him as he doctored a hurt cat who turned out to be Mr. Finch’s feline from down the street, which had started a precedent of wounded animals seeming to find their way to him. Trudie had always been by his side to help out. He’d wondered more than once if wounded animals found their way to him when he was a kid because they’d sensed a kindred spirit in him. He’d had a connection with animals that he simply hadn’t found with humans...except for Mormor and, in retrospect, Trudie.
Elsa would probably flip a bitch when she found out that he and Trudie were hanging out at Gus’s, but she’d get over it. He and Trudie were just two old friends catching up and he and Elsa were only here together for appearance sake—the sake of her appearance as Snow Queen.
Gus’s was jam-packed. The place was a mix of laughter and loud conversation. A soap opera blared on one of the wall-mounted televisions while “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer” played at a high volume on the jukebox in the back corner. The smell of grilled food set his stomach growling.
“Wow, it’s busy,” Trudie said, stopping right inside the door, mainly because there wasn’t enough room to continue walking.
Knox, caught unawares, bumped into the back of her. Instinctively, he grabbed her to keep from pitching forward. Instead, the back of her pressed hard against the front of him. Her hair brushed against his chin and cheek while her scent, light and innocent yet seductive, teased him. Something wild and hot coursed through him—desire of such a magnitude that he didn’t initially recognize it as such. He wanted to wrap his arms around her from behind, press more firmly into the cushion of her backside, test the area of her exposed neck with his lips to see if it was as sweet as it was tantalizing.
Instead, he immediately released her. She took a half step forward as he half stepped back.
Crap, he was turned on...by Trudie. That was the feeling he’d felt when he’d first seen her, but it had been so foreign in conjunction with Trudie that he hadn’t recognized it. He knew it now. Blood had rushed hard, fast and hot to his head, the one between his thighs that tended to fog the thinking of the one on his shoulders.
Trudie glanced behind at him. “Are you okay? Did I step on your toes?”
No, you rocked against my penis and turned my world upside down. “I’m fine. You didn’t catch my toes. How about you? You okay?”
“Yes,” she said, “but I think we’re out of luck. There’s no room to sit and standing room is crowded over at the bar.”
Knox glanced around the room. Booths lined the wall to the right of the main doorway. Every seat at the bar was taken. More booths formed a short L shape against the back wall while tables filled the open floor space ahead of them. Both pool tables were in use and a couple of guys were arguing good-naturedly over a dart game. It didn’t look as if anyone was on the verge of giving up a spot.
“You’re right.”
“I usually am.”
He wondered how long she’d been waiting to say that. Maybe a year and a half? “We could get it to go,” Knox said.
“And eat where?”
“Elsa’s staying here, but I’m staying out at the cabin.”
“You’re at the cabin?”
“Well, I will be. I haven’t made it that far yet.”
“Have you been since...”
She didn’t have to say it. She was asking if he’d been there since he’d lost Mormor. “No. This is the first time.” He paused and she said it before he could ask.
“Do you want me there?”
He hadn’t realized it until that instant, but he didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
She paused. “What about Elsa?”
He deliberately answered as if he’d misunderstood. “She’s busy with some Chrismoose activities. I think she had an interview over at the community center with a newspaper person. You want a burger?” Trudie loved burgers, fries and a good, cold beer.
“Sure. Medium—”
“Well,” he finished. He knew what she liked, at least food-wise. Now he was foolishly burning to know what she liked in other respects. Did she like kissing? How did she like to be kissed? How had he missed the tempting, succulent fullness of her lower lip? Was her neck sensitive? How did she like to be touched? And that was some dangerous thought paths to follow.... He brought his attention back to burgers and beers. “And I have some Mad Moose in the ice chest.”
They’d “discovered” the micro-brewed beer about eight years ago.
“But of course,” Trudie said with a smile that struck him as a bit forced. He knew the feeling.
“Wait here and I’ll go put in our order.”
The wait was saved from awkwardness when several people stopped by to chat, many to offer condolences for his grandmother. Surprisingly, given how crowded the place was, a quarter of an hour later they were making their way out of Gus’s, to-go boxes in hand.
They stopped by the airstrip and picked up Jessup. A sense of déjà vu washed over him. It was so much like old times—her, him, the dog. Yet it was all different and had changed so drastically. Showed how deceptive outward appearances could be.
“How are your parents? Are they here?” Knox said as they stepped out onto the sidewalk. Snow crunched underfoot. Christmas lights winked and blinked in the business windows lining the street. Snow drifted down lazily while children played with a puppy on the corner, their laughter mingling with the pup’s shrill bark.
“They’re both fine, just really busy. Mom’s got meetings she can’t get out of until later in the week and you know Dad isn’t going anywhere without her so they’ll be up in a couple of days.”
Trudie’s folks had gotten married in high school when Harriet had turned up pregnant. They were one of those rare cases where things had worked out and they’d not only stayed together but were incredibly devoted to one another. They each had their own interests, but Eldon Brown would never come to Chrismoose without Harriet.
Knox nodded. “You’re actually here a little earlier than usual,” he said as he steered her.
“I came ahead to get the cabin set up and to help with the floral stuff.” Trudie had always loved flowers and had an artistic streak to boot so it had been a no-brainer when she’d gone to work with a floral center and had done quite well at it. Knox knew she ultimately wanted to have her own shop one day...or at least that had been the plan once upon a time.
She paused as if unsure whether to continue and then obviously chose to go ahead. “They’ve missed you. Mom worries about you.”
Something inside him turned over, touched by her words. Funny how much it meant to hear that Harriet Brown worried about him. He’d been an orphan at the age of eight, but with Mormor he’d never felt like one. He didn’t suppose that twenty-eight year old men could feel orphaned, but dammit, he had when he lost Mormor. It had been traumatic when his parents had died, but Mormor had anchored him and he’d adjusted.
None of that had been the case when he lost Mormor. In retrospect, he realized he’d been in a state of shock when he’d hooked up with Elsa. In a normal world and with rightful thinking, Trudie and her parents would’ve been a comfort. But there was nothing normal or right about losing Mormor, and in a crazy way the Browns were part of what he’d lost so he’d distanced himself. But now...with time and more time...it was damn nice to hear that Harriet Brown had worried about him...that they still cared about him. Elsa and her folks were nice, but it simply wasn’t the same. He realized at that moment just how much he’d missed the Browns. And Trudie.
“That’s good to hear.” He opened the truck door for her and Jessup jumped in ahead of her. Trudie followed the dog into the cab. “I’ve stayed away too long,” Knox said.
She busied herself clicking her seatbelt into place. “Yes, you have,” she said without looking at him.
He closed her door, rounded the cab, and climbed in on the other side. Jessup, the big sap, had his head on Trudie’s thigh and was gazing up at her adoringly. Knox, rather confusingly, was feeling the same ever since she’d backed into him and awoken an awareness of her as a woman.
