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‘And if I’m not ready for a wager?’ she asked through aching lips.
‘We play for the joy of playing. I want to get to know the new you, Kara. I like what I’ve seen so far.’
Kara closed her eyes. Hoisted by her own words. She could try to get to know Ash as he was now, instead of expecting him to behave like he had done seven years ago. ‘I suppose we can play but no wagering. We have gone beyond that sort of thing.’
‘Coward.’ He gave a wicked smile, the sort that made her insides go liquid. ‘Aren’t you even going to ask what the wager was?’
Kara tilted her head and tried to control the pounding in her heart. Her entire traitorous body longed to know what the wager was and if it involved touching Ash and feeling his skin against hers. It would be so easy to melt into his embrace, particularly if she had no choice in the matter.
She straightened her spine and forced her feet to stay still. ‘How am I a coward?’
‘You challenge me, but then you run so you can sit up on your lonely mountaintop of female superiority, telling all the world that I forced you into a corner and that was why you surrendered.’
Her cheeks burnt. ‘Am I that obvious?’
‘No, I’m greedy.’ He bowed low. ‘I want to possess all of you rather than simply enjoying your body for one night.’
He was gone before she could utter a word in protest or explain why even one night would be a bad idea.
She lent her fevered brow against the cool panelling as her lips ached. Logic and not emotion. She had to think clearly, rather than consider the shape of his mouth and if the bristles on his chin remained as soft as they had been before.
Rurik needed a father, someone who could properly train him.
She had made the right decision, but she knew what she wanted from her life’s partner and it was very different from what she had wanted as a young girl. But she had to give Ash a chance. She wanted to see if it was more than desire or the memory of what had once passed between them. Why had everything become so complicated now that Ash had returned?
Chapter Eleven
‘I’ve brought the tafl board to you,’ Kara said, setting the board down next to where Ash sat in the great hall, engaged in an engrossing discussion with one of his men.
The remains of the welcome feast were spread out before him. Kara doubted if Ash had even realised that she had gone from the table. Just before she left, he had seemed utterly absorbed in the conversation about rigging sails. Further confirmation that Ash had no intention of staying here for the long term.
He wanted her to be a custodian of the estate and carry out his orders when he was gone. It wasn’t going to happen like that. It was why she had rejected several suitors earlier in the year. She knew what she wanted and all she had to do was to stick to her well-considered plan and keep her heart out of it.
Ash immediately broke off his conversation and turned towards her. His face lit up with some secret amusement. ‘You returned, Kara. I thought we might have to send out a search party.’
His friend laughed. ‘You’ve no idea how worried his lordship was, my lady. I’ve never seen him this perturbed. No, I lie. Once before when he worried about a Ranerike attack. His caution proved right that day. He kept turning his head and looking for you, even when he denied it. Normally he has no eyes for a skirt or a sultry smile. We used to wonder why and now we know. He left a beautiful lady at home.’
Ash banged his fist on the table. ‘Saxi! Enough!’
Ash had ignored other women? Kara forced a breath and recited the names of Ash’s mistresses before their marriage. Hring had made sure she knew about each and every one.
Had none come after her? She dampened down the sudden spark of hope. She must be realistic rather than grasp illusions of romance. It would be because he had been determined to regain his honour and didn’t have time, rather than because he had been pining for her. But she found it impossible to silence the insistent little voice that whispered, He seems to care now.
‘You did say you wanted a game and this is the perfect time.’ Kara slid back into her place and attempted to control her heart’s fierce beating.
It had seemed simple enough in the kitchen where she’d retreated under the guise of checking the stores after she’d checked that Rurik was truly asleep and not watching the feast from some hidden vantage point. Playing the game in front of everyone would ensure that it remained an innocent game, rather than turning into one of wagers and forfeits in the bedroom. Being alone together with a bed nearby would have compounded her mistakes. Falling into his bed would make the situation worse rather than better despite what her body screamed or what her dreams promised.
