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‘You always used to go to the stables when you were upset.’ He rolled down his trouser leg and gave a crooked smile as if he hadn’t noticed her pulling back. ‘We made love once on a bed of straw because I found you in here after my father had been cruel about a stew you made. It cheered you up. I wanted to make sure you weren’t upset.’
Kara laid down the brush with a trembling hand. It bothered her that he remembered that time. She’d cried against his chest until he’d lifted her chin and kissed her soundly. But making love, as enjoyable as it had been, had not solved her problem with Hring. Ash had departed five days later, knowing she wanted a buffer between her and her father-in-law.
‘I’m happy. Rurik is doing well. The farm is prosperous. Why should I be unhappy?’
‘You failed to mention me being here. Much remains unsettled between us.’
She toyed with the brush. ‘Rurik is very glad to have a father, his real father, at long last. He has really blossomed.’
He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her close. His breath laced with hers. ‘But I want to be a true husband as well as a father.’
His mouth descended on hers. Darkness and hunger calling to that banked fire deep within her. The point of his tongue teased her lips, parted them, penetrated deeply and then retreated.
She gave up her mouth with a sigh. Her hands buried themselves in his hair, holding him there as their tongues indulged. Each touch of his tongue sent the flames inside a little higher until she felt like she was being consumed. His mouth moved slowly over her skin to her earlobe. He captured it and suckled, tugging and pulling.
His hands roamed over her back, pulling her closer so that her body collided with his hard planes, leaving her in no doubt of his arousal. He wanted her as much as she wanted him.
Slowly he lifted her skirt, running his hand down her white thigh. Then slowly his fingers advanced towards the heart of her fire.
‘Ash,’ she murmured, not knowing if it was a plea for him to stop or to continue.
He sank to his knees before her. ‘Let me...’
Somewhere a door slammed and the sound of shared intimate laughter floated on the breeze.
Kara froze.
‘Not here,’ she whispered.
‘Where, Kara? When?’ Ash’s voice sounded like he’d run a mile.
She twisted out of his grasp. Her face burnt. She had behaved worse than a mare in heat, worse than whichever of the women lay with the unknown man.
Ash regarded her with a puzzled expression. ‘Talk to me, Kara. Tell me what is wrong.’
‘I want time, Ash.’ She smoothed down her skirt. Her skin protested. ‘You rushed me the last time and look where that led us.’
‘Where? We married. We had fun together until I left.’
‘If you can call it a marriage.’ Kara snapped her fingers with greater bravado than she felt. ‘A few weeks and you were gone.’
‘We’d known each other for years.’
‘We had known of each other for years. I was the girl with stars in her eyes and you were the boy who could do no wrong.’
‘I always liked the way your eyes shone and how you made me feel better about myself.’
She concentrated on the hollow of his throat. ‘A little over a year and I was a widow as far as anyone knew. You now want to saunter back into my life and turn it upside down.’
He put a finger under her chin. ‘You have no idea how deeply I regret that happening. It is impossible to change the past.’
‘Didn’t being away from your wife bother you? Or did you find some comfort like that man is doing?’ She put her hand over her face. ‘Ignore that. I promised I’d never be like my mother.’
He put his hands on her shoulders. His hold was different this time. ‘Kara, I’ll be honest. I tried not to think of Jaarlshiem, Raumerike or even you. It made the horrors of my life easier to bear. Make no mistake, there were horrors as I watched my friends die and then had to survive with only my wits.’
Kara’s breath caught and she willed him to say more.
‘Returning covered in shame was impossible. You wouldn’t have wanted me as a husband. But there were no other women. I was a married sell-sword seeking to regain his honour, not a berserker seeking a few moments of peace between some unknown’s thighs.’
Kara rolled her eyes.
‘You asked,’ Ash said steadily. ‘You deserve the truth. I tried not to think about you. But I have come home and everywhere I turn I find memories gathering. I do want to try again when you’re ready.’
