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‘Ash,’ she said, pushing her hands against his hard chest before his mouth descended again. If she gave in now, there would be far too much unsettled between them. Ash appeared to believe that having sex would settle everything between them. It only complicated things. ‘Your father explained about the other women. He had me meet them and hear their stories. He had them list how you made love to them—what you liked and how you seduced them.’
‘My father did what?’ His face became thunderous. ‘It is well he is dead or I would rip his misbegotten heart out. He had no right.’
‘He wanted to break my spirit over Rurik.’ She shut her eyes, seeing them again—all much more beautiful than she. ‘And he nearly did.’
‘That was my father using everything in his power to get his own way.’ He lifted her chin so she had to look into his eyes. ‘He should never have done that. I never married any of those women. The only woman I wanted to marry was you and I married you. I came home to you.’
‘But those women told the truth,’ she said tonelessly, wrapping her arms about her waist. She wanted to bury her face against his strong chest and cry. Somehow, she’d hoped for more. Somehow, she’d hope he’d deny it.
His arms fell to his side. ‘From here on, you will have to be the one to ask for my mouth before I give it.’
‘To ask?’ She blinked.
‘Forcing you is the last thing I desire, Kara. Undoing the past is an impossibility as much as I might wish to. I want you, but I don’t want you accusing me of seducing you. It works both ways. If you want to be kissed, you will have to ask, not provoke me or imply, but ask.’
‘I am not sure what you are saying...’
His eyes turned serious. ‘It is your move in the game we are playing. Make it. Stop hesitating. Stop playing it safe. If you want to make a break from the past, so be it. You take charge. See that it doesn’t have to be like it was. You bear some responsibility for our old marriage as well as I. I am willing to change. Are you?’
She lifted her chin and summoned all her dignity but her insides knotted. Ash couldn’t be right. She had always tried to behave in the correct manner. She wasn’t avoiding her feelings. She refused to suffer a second heartbreak over the same man. ‘I will take your advice under consideration.’
* * *
Kara stepped back from the loom she had just threaded. The wool was all spun and now came the interesting part—weaving the cloth. It was time she started taking responsibility rather than mooning over Ash or hiding away with the animals. Ash had been right about that yesterday. She was avoiding her responsibilities.
Thora and the other women were hard at work on their looms or spinning the last of this year’s wool. For too long she had neglected her duties in favour of watching Rurik and Ash training. Her dreams last night had been particularly vivid and concentrating on the tasks that needed to be done rather than watching how Ash moved as he trained Rurik was an attempt to get her mind back on a steadier course.
She was attracted to Ash. That much was clear, but she wasn’t prepared to risk her heart again. He had carelessly trampled all over it once. She wanted to be certain she could keep her heart safe if she was going to stay in this marriage. Once she’d given everything and had nothing in return. It had to be more than desire on his part.
‘There you are, Kara. Hard at work as usual.’ Ash appeared in the doorway. His hair gleamed and the light from the doorway made his shoulders appear very broad and his hips narrow. The sight did strange things to her stomach.
‘Have you been looking for me?’ she asked, striving for a neutral tone as her heart knocked against her ribs.
‘You failed to turn up at this morning’s training session.’
‘We are behind with the weaving.’
‘There was something I wanted to discuss with you about Rurik. It won’t wait, so the weaving will have to.’
Disappointment stabbed her. She had to stop thinking he was searching her out because he wanted to spend time with her. He had told her that it was up to her to make the next move, but he was here. She had to take it as a good sign. ‘Go on.’
‘Tell me first why you didn’t show up this morning. The truth this time.’
‘Rurik informed me this morning over breakfast that he was a big boy and didn’t need his mother looking after him.’ She crossed her arms over her stomach. Keeping the subject to Rurik was far safer. She had no wish to continue their conversation from the stables out here where people could hear. ‘Six and already he has no time for his mother. I listened to him and stayed away.’
