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His voice sounded strained and husky to her ears.
She knew then that she needed to make the first move. Now. Always before she had waited for him to act, but now she had to make the first move. For both their sakes. He was right about that the other night. This had to be a break from the past.
She looped her arm about his neck and pulled his face to hers. She brushed her lips against his, tasting their faint coolness which quickly gave way to a pulsating warmth. She wanted to linger and delve deeper, but...
She drew back, waiting for him to make the next move, to show her that the kiss was welcome. He watched her intently, much as a cat might watch a mouse hole. Waiting, but not moving.
Her breath caught in her throat. Silence filled her ears. Had she left it too long? Had his desire for her stopped?
‘To say thank you for teaching me and all that you have done for Rurik.’ She tried to keep her voice light, but she knew her cheeks burnt. She’d made a mistake with the kiss. She’d risked everything on an impulse and had lost. Her mouth tasted of bitter salt.
‘No thanks is necessary, I assure you. My pleasure.’ His voice held a faint rasp and his fingers flexed into a fist and released as if he were keeping a tight rein on his body.
‘But I wanted to.’ She drew a deep breath. She had to try once more. ‘I want to kiss you again...if you are willing. Out here where it is just us.’
His intake of breath was sharp and sure. ‘Don’t say things like that unless you mean them. Once we start, there is no going back, Kara. I’m not made of stone.’
She cupped his face between her hands. The soft bristles of his unshaven chin tickled her fingertips and sent little flutters through her body, teasing her and awakening a fire deep within her belly. His eyes became heavily lidded with passion. A sense of power surged through her. ‘I mean it.’
This time, rather than brushing his lips, she flicked out her tongue, running it along the outline of his mouth and lingering on the soft curve of his bottom lip. She caught it between her teeth and nibbled.
His arms came around her and roamed all over her back before crushing her to him. Her soft curves met his hard planes and his arousal pressed into her, leaving her in no doubt of his desire for her.
She knew she wanted much more and she was tired of waiting. Going back to the hall with all its people milling about and waiting until dark would take far too long. Even though it was autumn and a distinct chill hung in the air, she knew she wanted to experience it.
All of her hesitation vanished in the security of his arms. His mouth opened to her and she tasted the sweetness of him. Their tongues met and tangled, retreated and advanced.
He lifted his head. His ragged breath fanned her cheek. ‘We must stop.’
‘Why?’
‘This place...it is not what I’d want for you, for us, for the first time since my return.’ He put his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her, his face utterly serious. ‘If this continues, I will lose whatever small amount of self-control I have with you.’
She laughed softly. A small thrill rippled through her. He wasn’t tired of waiting. He was trying to go at her pace. Seven years ago, she’d been forced to go at his. But now they could move together. ‘Ash, I am tired of waiting. My dreams have become unbearable. Help me make them real.’
‘Dreams? You have dreamt of me. They cannot be half as vivid as my dreams of you.’
‘You have no idea.’
‘I used not to be able to sleep because of my memories of the shipwreck, and the men I’d killed, but lately I can’t sleep because of you and what I want to do with you.’ He cupped her cheeks between his palms. ‘A soft bed can do wonders, Kara. Out here is hard ground and cold air. Uncomfortable at the best of times.’
Her stomach clenched. If they waited and went back to the hall, something would stop them. She wanted to do this now before she lost her nerve. ‘I thought you disliked sleeping in rooms.’
‘Did I say anything about sleeping?’ He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. He looked down at her face and sighed, putting her from him. ‘This is wrong. I’m sorry, Kara, but it is.’
‘Wrong?’ she whispered.
‘Before we make love, you need to know what I went through,’ he said slowly as if coming to a decision. ‘I want you to know before...so you don’t feel bound to me. You need to know everything or our marriage will still be false. I see that now as clearly as I see your face.’
Kara’s breath caught. Ash wanting to share was far more important than their joining. He had said that he might not ever feel comfortable sharing his past.
