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‘If you like,’ she said cautiously. ‘I’ll listen with a sympathetic ear. I want to know everything about you.’
‘I haven’t been able to sleep inside since I was trapped on the ship after the lightning struck. A good captain would have gone down with his ship, but something within me fought to live.’
‘You were asleep when the lightning struck?’
‘The ship turned over and I was trapped for a lifetime.’ Slowly Ash began to recount the story of his survival, including how he’d used the dead bodies of his friends as a shield to get out of the dungeon alive. Kara listened with growing horror at what he’d been through and respect for his survival. He spoke about the men he’d killed and when, leaving nothing out.
* * *
‘There, you know everything—the bad and the ugly.’ He started to turn away. ‘We can go back to the hall now. When you make your decision, you can let me know.’
‘I’ve made it.’ She leant forward, grabbed his arm before kissing him on the mouth. ‘We stay here. No more secrets between us. If anything, your story makes me admire you more. You went through all that and you remained determined not to give up or give in. I’ve seen you with Rurik and your men. What you went through didn’t destroy you, Ash. It made you.’
His eyes darkened. ‘If that is what you want.’
She undid her cloak and spread it out on the narrow strip of grass, sure of herself. She gestured about the hushed forest glade. ‘We have the rest of our lives for a soft bed, but right now, we have all this beauty and solitude. But if you are unwilling, I’m willing to give you time.’
His rich laugh rang out as he threw an arm about her. ‘If you knew how hard it has been for me, particularly in the past few days. I promised you time and I gave it, but I never said it would be easy on me.’
‘On either of us,’ she confessed to her cloak.
‘It’s good to know. I worried.’ His hand traced a line the length of her back, sending a warm pulse throughout her, enveloping her in its heat. And his touch was better than any dream.
She spun around and he grabbed her hands, holding them above her head. She glimpsed the vulnerability in his eyes.
‘Would you have taken me out today if I’d asked?’
‘I wanted to confess my deeds. You were right—you needed to know,’ he murmured against her mouth. ‘It couldn’t hang between us and I wanted it to be out here. I was certain you’d turn from me. All I had was one slender hope, but it was enough.’
‘You had hope.’
‘Without hope, I’d never have survived. Somewhere deep within me, I wanted to see your face again and feel your skin against mine.’ His lips captured hers, slowly moving across her face, raining kisses on her eyes, cheekbones and nose, making a memory.
With each touch, Kara realised her dreams had been a pale copy of the real thing. She moved to touch him, but he shook his head.
‘Patience,’ he murmured, capturing her hands. ‘I intend to enjoy this. You have led me on a merry dance, Kara. It is time you knew a bit of pleasurable suffering.’
Their hands remained intertwined as he eased her back onto the cloak, before he took off his cloak and tunic. The autumn sunlight turned his skin to gold, but she could see a network of scars across his torso and recalled his story about the way he’d battled to return.
She hated to think about the pain he must have borne for each scar. She reached out a trembling finger and traced the nearest scar. His flesh was molten hot to her touch.
‘Not the perfection I used to be,’ he said, kneeling beside her and taking her hand between his. ‘Is that what you are trying to tell me with your serious stare? I don’t match your expectations?’
She looked up at the deep blue autumn sky and tried to regain control of her emotions. How could he think such a thing about her? ‘I’m sorry you had to feel pain.’
‘Take away pain and you take away life.’ He lifted her hand to his lips. His tongue made a little circle on the underside of her wrist. ‘You’ve lessened my pain today considerably, the pain I have in my soul.’
She passed a hand over her eyes. The scars might not be visible like the ones on his torso, but they were there. ‘Yes, of course.’
Very deliberately she leant forward and placed her mouth on the most jagged of his scars, the one which ran from his right breast down to his left hip where someone once had tried to slice him open. His second battle with the Franks. She ran her tongue along the length of it, feeling its silken smoothness which contrasted with the faint roughness of his unblemished skin.
