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Brand shook his head. He’d come very close, but he would never come that close again. When they got to Jorvik, he would send for a bride from back home, someone who would provide the right sort of loyalty.
‘Why have we stopped?’
‘It is best to make camp early. There have been reports of bands of outlaws. I camped here on the way to the hall. It has a good aspect.’
‘It seems strange to think of outlaws and bandits roaming the countryside. Northumbria used to be such a peaceful place when I grew up.’
‘Why? Men like Athelstan have survived and they have nowhere to go, nothing except to prey on innocent travellers. Halfdan is intent on having his peace kept. They will be brought to justice in time.’
She pressed her lips together. ‘You are attempting to frighten me.’
‘On the contrary, I am telling you the truth, rather than treating you like a child to be kept in the dark about matters.’ As her face did not clear, he added, ‘You must not be concerned as you will be protected. I will deliver you to Halfdan for his judgement safe and sound.’
‘Brand, I’m sorry.’ She raised her bound hands. ‘I never meant for it to happen like this. You have to know that. I have been thinking in the cart and I wanted you to know that this had nothing to do with my feelings for you. I meant what I said in the bedchamber. I love you. I wanted to...to protect you. But I also had a duty to the people who had served my family. What passed between you and me was beyond all imagining. I didn’t want to jeopardise that. I didn’t explain it very well.’
‘You have deep feelings for me? Funny you can only tell me about them after your little deception is discovered.’ Brand forced his lips to turn up into a cynical smile. He’d heard those sorts of lying words before and made the mistake of believing them in Constantinople. He’d wanted to believe them in the bedchamber but the small sane spark of him refused. It had taken every ounce of will power to turn on his heel and leave. ‘One might even call them self-serving.’
She visibly flinched. ‘I knew before then. I was simply afraid to say something. I do have deep feelings for you Brand. I want what is best for you.’
‘You have a strange way of showing it. You never showed me the slightest regard.’ Brand stopped and regained control of his temper. ‘Do you know what you did to me? What could have happened?’
She wet her lips and her hips swayed. ‘If there was anything I could do to make it up to you, I would.’
She came closer to him and brushed her body against his. His body responded instantly. He pushed her away from him. Disgusted at her and, more important, disgusted with himself for wanting to believe in her. When was he going to learn that whenever a woman was in difficulties she resorted to seduction?
‘Are you worried about your punishment?’ he asked, making his voice drip with scorn. ‘Do you think I would make it easier for you? Maybe allow you and Athelstan to escape if you kissed me or pretended that you might have feelings for me?’
Her eyes widened. ‘I had hoped to persuade you about Athelstan—but for myself, I expect the punishment. I simply wanted to let you know I admire you. I hoped you might have feelings for me and want to understand why I felt compelled to do it.’
He shook his head. ‘You lied to me and you expect me to think you have great feelings for me? It is far too convenient, Edith.’
‘I never lied.’ She stood up straighter. ‘I omitted to tell you of Athelstan, that much is true. But then what punishment did the man who saved you when you were younger risk? Did he ever confess to your father’s wife?’
‘You have no right to bring that up!’ White-hot anger surged through Brand. Odd had refused to come with him, sending his son Sven instead. Years later, Brand heard he’d died after his father’s wife had turned her fury on him. He would have saved him if he could, but the two situations were not the same. Odd had not been in love with that woman.
‘I’ve every right. Your friend risked his life to save yours, disobeying orders.’ Edith glared at him. ‘Why should I do any less for a man who has shown me and my family great loyalty and personal courage?’
Anger shot through Brand. How dare she use something private? He knew the sacrifice Odd had made. ‘Do not compare the two. They are not the same!’
‘Why?’ she persisted.
‘Because they are not.’ Brand stared up at the sky and watched the clouds as he sought to control his temper. She had wronged him because she always thought of others, not herself or him or them. ‘You like to pretend that you are doing it for the good of others, but really you do these things so that you can be lauded as being good. Why should one man’s life matter more than anyone else’s? You destroyed everything between us.’
