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A prolonged silence met his question. "No."
Jesus Christ. If this went on much longer, Ethan was going to break his jaw he was clenching it so hard. "Where the fuck is she, Ty?"
"I called Nate and he went and picked her up."
"Nate? Who the fuck is Nate?!?" Ethan exploded, his emotions somewhere between red-hot jealousy and pure relief that Ava was okay.
"Dude. Calm down. Nate. You know, Nathaniel Cox," Ty elaborated.
And then the explanation finally began to make sense. Nathaniel was studying at Blinn, not far from Ethan's school. "You know for a fact that she's okay?"
"I didn't say she was okay," Ty answered precisely. "I said Nate picked her up."
"Don't fuck with me, Anderson. Do you know for a fact she's with him?"
"I made her call me after he picked her up to let me know she was safe. So, yeah, I know she's with him. Or, at least, she was a couple of hours ago."
"I'm calling him now. Gonna go get her."
"You can try," Ty drawled in a tone meant to egg him on.
"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" Ethan snarled.
"Just sayin'. She was upset and pissed. And let me give you a word of advice," Ty added in a warning tone Ethan wasn't in the mood for.
"What's that?" he bit out sarcastically.
"This isn't Nate's fault," Ty said firmly. "In fact, you might want to thank him. He drove all the way over there and rescued Ava when you couldn't be found. Don't take your piss-poor attitude out on him. Dude's not after my sister. Try to control your fucked-up jealousy and realize the guy did you a favor by looking out for your girl."
Ethan chewed on the inside of his lip until he tasted blood. "Yeah, okay. I get it."
Ty let out a slow sigh and seemed to calm down. And then he took a breath and said, "Listen, man. I guess you don't know yet." He stalled for a moment before continuing, "My parents have split up—Dad left Mom and he's on his way up here to stay with me."
Ethan felt sucker-punched by that information as he struggled to find the right words. Could this shit get any deeper? "Fuck. I'm sorry. Does Ava know?"
"Yeah. When she called earlier, we talked about it. But she already knew. Dad called her and told her. As far as I know, she hasn't talked to Mom about it yet—neither have I."
"This is my fucking fault. Every goddamn thing is my fucking fault."
"No, it's not," Ty said with a deflated sigh. "Look, just find my sister and take care of her, okay? And don't get pissed at Nate. That would be incredibly fucked up."
And with that, Ty ended the call, leaving Ethan frustrated beyond belief.
Three seconds later, Ethan scrolled through his contacts and pressed a button. Instead of waking Nate, the guy answered after the first ring, alert. "What's up, Jackson? Looking for somebody?"
Ethan took a deep, stabilizing breath and tried to rein it in. He tried with everything he had to remember the guy had done him a solid. "Hey, man, I appreciate your help. Ava's not answering her cell. Can you put her on the phone?"
"Nope. She's finally asleep and I'm not waking her up."
Finally asleep? I'm not waking her up? The intimacy of that fucking statement—the fact that another guy was making decisions for Ava, was in the same apartment as Ava while she was asleep—maybe even watching her sleep—made Ethan want to physically smash something. Or someone. He wanted to order Nate to wake her up, that very second, but he knew that couldn't be good for Ava or the baby. So he took a deep breath and tried like fuck to remember what Ava needed and not what he wanted. "I'll be there first thing in the morning."
Nathaniel rattled off his address before ending the call and Ethan knew he wouldn't get a damn bit of sleep until he had Ava with him.
****
As Ava balanced precariously on the edge between sleep and cognizance, she felt a soft touch on her forehead. Was she dreaming? It felt strangely like her mother's touch: the kind of whisper-soft caress Ava had known before she got pregnant and had so easily taken for granted when she was a little girl. The dream was incredibly pleasant and soothing. Flashbacks swept through her mind, good memories that she'd been suppressing because they'd been too painful to recall. A loving touch, a sweet touch, the kind only a mother could give a child.
Eager to let somnolence take her back to a place where her mother still loved her unconditionally, she smiled and settled deeper into the couch, sliding her hand over her belly.
She heard a muffled sob only inches away. Her eyes flew open and she saw her mother standing by the couch, her posture stooped and broken. Defeated.
Ava blinked, then blinked again. Was her mother really here? She must still be dreaming. She couldn't even remember falling asleep, but she had to have dozed off. Because there was no way this was real.
But the apparition didn't disappear into thin air as she expected. Her mother was undeniably real as she stood there, weeping.
Ava jerked to a sitting position and scrambled back toward the end of the sofa. Drawing her knees up in front of her, she slid both hands over her stomach. The overtly protective action drew another sob of despair from her mother.
"Mom?" Ava asked jaggedly, struggling to find her voice.
Hesitating, her mother finally moved a few inches closer to stand beside the couch, watching her warily, tears swimming in her eyes. "Ava, I'm so sorry," she whispered, her voice catching.
Ava was fully awake now and felt like the walls were closing in on her. Everything came rushing back in an instant: the baby, her mom's hostility, the animosity between her parents, her father leaving her mom. Every single thing she'd endured during the last few desperate hours came back as well: the bus ride from hell where they'd been broken down on the side of the road for hours, the unanswered text messages, the girls in Ethan's dorm room. And their lies—or, maybe, the truth. No, she shook her head to clear it; they'd been nasty, vicious lies. She had to believe that.
But where was Ethan? She looked around the room, and disappointment was a dull ache in her chest as she faced the irrefutable fact that the one person she wanted above all others still wasn't with her.
But her mother was here. She was speaking now, but what was she saying? Ava frowned and tried to concentrate. Her heart began beating entirely too fast as she interrupted her mother's tear-filled babbling, desperately trying to find her bearings. "Mom? What's going on? What are you doing here?"
Her mother's face crumpled. "I've been horrible to you, Ava. I don't know what to say…" Her mother's words trailed off on a sob, then she turned away with her face in her hands. "Your father left me and I—" she broke off on another sob, then straightened and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Her voice stronger now, she said, "Everyone I love—I've driven away. It wasn't until I was alone in that house that I realized what I'd done to you and Ty and your father. I've destroyed our family."
Ava had no clue what to say. She desperately wanted this confession or apology or whatever it was to be true. She desperately wanted Ethan to be here as well. She was starting to think that maybe she was expecting too much out of life. Regardless, she didn't know how to respond to her mother's unexpected words of contrition, but she knew she had to try. "I'm sorry Dad left. Maybe he'll come back soon."
The loo
k on her mother's face revealed a soul-deep defeat. "No, he won't. I've driven him away just as I've driven you and Ty away."
"Mom—"
"No! Please don't say anything. Not yet. I want you to know that I'm ashamed of the way I've acted. I'm ashamed of what I've said and done—but I don't deserve anyone's forgiveness."
Ava swallowed, licking her lips. "I don't know what to say—"
"Please, don't say anything," her mom murmured, shoulders slumping again.
"How did you even know I was here?" Ava asked, vaguely noticing as Nate walked into the room, brazenly keeping an eye on her as he moved to lean against the wall in silence.
Her mother pursed her lips, struggling for words. "I was distraught after you left—after your father admitted he'd left me—so I called Ty. He told me where you were—" The words were broken with yet another sob and Ava felt a hard tug at her heartstrings. No matter what had happened, no matter what harsh words had been spoken, she loved her mother and felt the woman's pain as her own.
But she had to be sure her mom understood how things were, with the baby. It would be so much easier if Ethan were by her side, but he wasn't. She was going to have to deal with this herself. And she was going to have to come to grips with the heartache and insecurity of the previous night, still so fresh in her memory. After all, she was going to be a mother soon. She had to be able to deal with her own shit. Hopefully, she wouldn't have to stand alone for long, that there was an explanation for Ethan's complete absence the previous evening. "Mom, before this goes any further—I'm keeping my baby."
Her mother pulled in a shaky breath as she glanced at Ava's rounded middle and then finally, into her eyes. "I know you are—of course you are. I don't know what I've been thinking," she mumbled, sounding confused and stricken, and for some reason, very old.
Ava was in complete turmoil as her mind raced. She didn't think she could deal with her mom's crisis of conscience right now, she was so upset about everything else. But still, she felt the need to hug her. She wanted her mother's love and support back so desperately—but she also had a pressing need for the bathroom. Slowly, she rose to her feet, wobbling slightly at a wave of dizziness. She pressed a hand to the ache in her lower back, rubbing as the discomfort sharpened and seemed to wrap around her spine. She had asked too much of herself by making this trip. The whole thing was quickly becoming a disaster of epic proportions.
