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Between the nasty salad greens and my revelation about Ronan and Amanda, by the time Emma got to the table, my stomach was too knotted to eat.
“Hey. ” She methodically put her bag down, pulled her chair out, sat down, placed her napkin on her lap, adjusted her plate and cutlery in a way that appealed to her, and silently set to eating her meat pie.
Emma was acting her typical mute self, when for once I wished she were the sort to go for some good, vapid chitchat.
I stared at my hands. I could’ve used my butter knife to cut the tension between Amanda and Ronan. I cleared my throat. “Hey yourself. ”
And then nobody spoke. Four of us sitting at the table and yet…silence.
Unaware of it all, Emma chewed, and I was able to hear every gulp of her drink, every crunch of her bread. She swallowed and peered at my bowl of cold soup and plate of limp greens. “Not hungry?”
“You need more than bread and blood,” Amanda snapped. She was shifting in her seat as if that note were burning a hole in her pocket.
I stole a glance at Ronan, sitting stiffly and silently. What was this? Middle school?
“Nah. ” I gave the soup a quick stir. It was shiny, looking congealed already, and I let go of my spoon. It made a dull plop, and orange liquid splattered the edges of the white bowl. “I’m all right. ”
I reminded myself that never had I ever suspected there was or could ever be anything between me and any Tracer on this island. Especially not Ronan, especially with that whole I-could-hypnotize-you thing he had going on.
In fact, I doubted there could ever be anything between me
and anybody on this island. I was destined to die a virgin.
Check that. I was destined to die an as-yet-unkissed virgin. How lame was that? With my wide eyes, I’d always feared I resembled a frog, and now it seemed I’d never get a chance to see if a first kiss could turn me into a princess.
As if.
My mood took a nosedive. It didn’t help that a handful of Initiates and their more advanced Guidon counterparts hovered near the table, all leggy, catsuited menace.
I cut my eyes to Emma. To the naked eye, she appeared clueless, sitting there chomping on her shepherd’s pie. But I knew my friend well. Her face was drawn, her mouth tight. Like me, she feared these girls.
And with good reason. Emma was my peer, and therefore my competitor, but so far we’d managed to avoid conflict. And it was all because she’d pulled out of the Directorate Challenge when she saw her name pitted against mine on last semester’s fight bracket.
The vampires had been so kind about it all, assuring us the challenge was voluntary, and so when the girls realized each fight was to the death, several had bowed out. But vampires were never kind, not truly, and I’d known in my heart that it’d been a test. Making the challenge optional was a way to cull the most cutthroat of us from our less savage—our weaker—peers.
When Emma bowed out of the competition, she’d called attention to herself.
In some ways, it was the Initiates who were the most pissed. They believed every girl needed to pay her dues. Those who hadn’t were already beginning to disappear.
And these girls, hovering near us, were angry. I could feel their wrath, and I could see by the way my friend sat rigidly in her chair, she could, too. Emma wasn’t exactly in trouble. But she was under scrutiny.
“Acari Drew,” Ronan demanded, and the sound of my official name on his tongue startled me back into the present. I realized he and Amanda had been trying to get my attention.
“Yeah…I mean, yes,” I corrected. If we were under scrutiny, it was best to remain formal at all times. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if people thought I had allies on this island. “Yes, Tracer Ronan?”
“Now that I’ve returned, I expect we will resume our regular lessons?”
Swim. My face fell. I hated swimming. Granted, it felt good that I’d conquered my fears and learned and yadda yadda yadda, but that was good enough for me. I might not sink like a rock anymore, but I still didn’t enjoy swimming, like, as a pastime or anything. I’d been hoping I could move on. “But isn’t it time to expand my horizons? I know how to swim now. ”
“Not well enough. Not yet. ”
What did that mean, and why had it sounded as if he was implying something else? When would I be done?
But before I could ask, Ronan stood and nodded an abrupt good-bye to the table. And then he simply turned and left.
I said, “Well that’s that, then. ” If the Initiates hadn’t been nearby, I’d have stuck my tongue out at his back.
“He’s right. ” Amanda plucked her messenger bag from the floor and slung it over her shoulder. “You can swim, and bully for you. But it’s not good enough to keep you alive, and you know it. You have to go the farthest. Hold your breath the longest. Be the strongest and the most fearless. ” She scooted her chair back and stood. “Now you have other pressing matters. ” She gave Emma a weighty look, apparently as aware as we were of the vultures hovering behind us, and I thought I saw sympathy flicker in her eyes. “Later then, dollies. ”
