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riendship, and I didn’t want him to be the one Carden throttled. “Let’s just say the suck factor is particularly high today. ”
Carden was quiet for a moment, then said, “As you wish. ” He knew I was holding something back, and to his credit, he didn’t push me on it.
Though…
Why didn’t he push me on it? Only someone who had their own secrets wouldn’t demand the full story. As you wish. And didn’t that just sum him up? Carden did as he wished.
I gave a shake to my head. I couldn’t let myself spin out like this. What I needed was a refuge. A place where I could be safe, just for a little while. “Where do you stay?” I asked abruptly.
“Close by your side?” He raised a questioning brow, that jaunty grin of his firmly in place. Ever the smooth-talking flirt.
It was a great way to avoid the question.
For once, I didn’t take the bait. “No, I mean when you sleep. ”
“I don’t sleep. ”
“Okay, rest. Where do you stay at night?” Was it in the keep? Did he know the secret horrors of the island? Was he behind it, with the other vampires? The rapid-fire thoughts had me freaking out.
“It’s no secret, dove. ” His features grew quiet, like he only now realized he was dealing with little miss crazypants. And how I hated the feeling that I was pulling the clichéd psycho girlfriend thing. But he tipped his head, looking off to the right, and gently said, “Northeast of here, there’s an old hunting bothy. I use it when I need to come in from the light. ”
“Will you take me there?”
He paused. “Not tonight. But soon. Soon I will show you. ”
“Why don’t you stay in the keep with the other vampires?”
“I avoid Hugo’s lair at all costs, and I’d have you do the same. ”
“What goes on in there?” I needed to know the secret of that castle.
“Why the sudden interest?”
I couldn’t stop now. Carden and I were close. If he truly cared about me, he wouldn’t keep secrets. “If Emma was alive when they took her to the castle, what would’ve happened to her there?”
“This, I don’t know. ” For once, he looked taken aback. This hadn’t been the direction he’d expected our little chat to take.
“You don’t know,” I repeated flatly. But there was something in his eyes. Something distracted that told me he might have some idea. “You must know something. If not about Emma, then how about the other girls. You know, the ones who disappear all the time. You’re a vampire. You say you’re not one of them—”
“I’m not one of Alcántara’s lackeys,” he interrupted with a growl.
“Fine. Still, you must have some clue. ”
A heavy silence hung between us for a moment. “Your anger is misdirected. Trust me on this. Trust me, too, when I say I cannot tell you what occurs inside their keep. ”
“So you do know. ” Suddenly I was so tired. So sick of all these secrets. “Why won’t you tell me more?”
“For your own safety. ” His answer was quick and sharp. “I know not what happened to your friend. Do I think she’s dead? Yes. Do I know of dark doings at Alcántara’s hand? Aye, this island is full of darkness. Would you have me secret you inside the castle, tour you around, introduce you to the one truth? I cannot, because there isn’t one. There is no lone truth, no single secret revelation. Will I tell you more than this? Can I risk telling you everything? Take the risk that Alcántara might one day perceive the knowledge in your eyes? Can I give him any suspicions of any kind? No, and no, and no again. ”
“Sorry, Carden, but that’s just ridiculous. It’s dangerous enough just being here. Wouldn’t knowing the Directorate’s secrets be a good thing? Like, forewarned is forearmed?”
“There is some knowledge that is difficult even for me to bear. I would guard you against it. Against them. ” He had such a pained look on his face as he said it, like he truly did want to protect me, from everything, even the bad thoughts. “If there was one truth to share that would help you, one thing I could say that would safeguard you, believe me, I would enlighten you. I wouldn’t hesitate; I would risk my existence to arm you with that knowledge. But there are only secrets and horrors in that castle, and I beg you to stay away. ”
“Then why don’t you leave?”
“I’m bound to you,” he said with a quick smile. But then he paused and looked blindly into the distance. “Aye, we could flee this island together, but…other things hold me here. Other allegiances. Too dangerous for you,” he added before I could interrupt. “And there is no running from those. Some truths you cannot escape. ”
I understood a little something about allegiances. And he was right. Alcántara and his cronies were powerful—there would be no disappearing where they were concerned, only death. “I guess we could run, but we’ll never be able to hide, huh?”
