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His eyes met mine again, and their light had returned once more. “Something like that. ”
He was so old-fashioned. I believed he truly did earnestly wish to guard me. It made it hard to be angry. I studied him for a moment, my seventeenth-century sort-of boyfriend. “Protecting me from the bad guys—is that you being chivalrous?”
A grin threatened along the hard line of his mouth. I’d surprised him. “That is one word for it. ”
I smiled then. “And I’d thought chivalry was dead. ”
“You cannot blame me if I wish to keep you safe,” he said, growing serious again. “When I can. ”
“You do realize I’ve done a pretty decent job of protecting myself, right?”
“Call it my weakness, but the need to defend you is strong. ” Then he quickly added, “As you need it, of course. ” His expression grew panicked, scrambling to express his true thoughts to the modern girl. “That is, if you allow it. ”
His fear of making a conversational gaffe with me was the most endearing thing I’d ever seen. I leaned in to him, nudging him with my shoulder as we walked. “You’re such an antique. ”
He laughed then, loudly, and his burst of good humor was irresistible. It broke the tension for good. “A man could do worse than to be your knight. ”
It was full dark, and I looked up, studying his strong profile. The white moonlight etched a line along his jaw, and his smile seemed to glow in the darkness. He was all-powerful and yet he was there, with me, walking me back to my dorm, ever the gentleman, while he could’ve been…what? Ravaging helpless villagers? Drinking the blood of innocents? Who knew what they did in the keep. All I knew was that Carden McCloud wasn’t in there doing it with them.
So who was he really? I fantasized about taking down the Vampire Directorate, but maybe he did, too. “Why aren’t you like them?”
“To be Vampire…it should not demand that one be evil. ”
Evil. Was it possible to require blood to survive and not be evil? I couldn’t help but think of myself. Me, who now craved the blood of vampires.
It stayed on my mind all night and all through the next afternoon. I was still contemplating the meaning of it all, sitting there on the beach, waiting for Ronan’s arrival.
I checked the time on my watch—it was a fugly digital model well suited to geeks and Navy SEALs everywhere. Thursday. 13:47. Getting close to Primitive Skills time…aka Ronan’s wilderness camp.
Unlike the academic subjects, many of these survival classes were girls only. I supposed it was because the guys were going Vampire, and if you were a vamp, why learn to survive off the land when you could survive off the landowners, right?
Shudder.
How would Ronan act when he saw me? I’d headed over early, wanting to get our initial interaction over with before the other girls showed up. He’d been so kind the other night in the dining hall. The fact that I might’ve looked so sad, so raw, as to make Ronan feel sorry for me made me feel pathetic. And, frankly, a little embarrassed, too.
I wanted him to think I was okay. I wanted to say hi, to exchange a meaningful look that said I’m cool; it’s all good before the start of his class. Usually he showed up early to prepare, but he still hadn’t arrived.
Unfortunately, many of my classmates had. They trickled in, wearing parkas and boots over their navy blue catsuits, managing to look like they were slinking down a catwalk instead of simply walking across the cold, damp sand.
Did I look like that? Was I that graceful and just didn’t realize it? I’d had a year of brutal physical training by now. It was possible.
“Imagine that you’re alone,” Ronan said, startling me from behind. He’d strolled up and was diving right in to his lecture. So much for my meaningful look. “You find yourself on a beach such as this. You’re hungry. Growing weaker. ” He walked to the water’s edge, and we hopped into step behind him. The waves were calm today, a rhythmic crash and whoosh along the shore. “What do you eat? How do you quench your burning thirst?”
One girl volunteered, “I’d have water in my pack. ”
He brushed that off. “Your water is long gone. ”
An auburn-haired Initiate named Isabella rolled her eyes. “Isn’t that why we’re taking this class? So you can tell us what to do?”
“Nice,” I muttered, giving her a critical eye. She’d never survive her first mission.
It made me want to do better. To excel. I forgot Yasuo and the nature of evil, and for the moment, I even forgot Carden. I wanted to be the one with the answers. “There are shells,” I said. “For food, I mean. ”
Isabella chuffed a bitchy little laugh. “A little crunchy, don’t you think?”
I gave her my best side-eye. “Where there’re shells, there’re shellfish. ”
“Very good,” Ronan said with a firm nod. He gave me a pleased look, and Isabella looked like her head might explode. “Acari Drew is absolutely correct. ”
