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I just know he’s worried half to death.
“Oh, daddy,” I rasp, feeling my own tears coming. “I got cut off last night… I’m okay, just calling to-”
“You called late last night, didn’t you? Hung up again or did your phone drop out? Honey, I don’t care about anything anymore. Just tell me where you are and I’ll come get you,” he says, speaking so fast but sounding better already now that he’s heard my voice.
“I called you?” I hear myself ask just as Conor comes back into the room with a tray of coffee and some sweet rolls.
His face looks pained as soon as he sees me on the phone, and those shoulders of his start to sag again, telling me something’s wrong.
“Rachel?” I hear my dad repeating, his tone begging me to still be there.
Begging me to tell him what’s going on.
I wish I knew myself.
Chapter Twelve
Conor
As soon as I hear her before I even walk back into my office, I know who she’s calling.
I know who it is.
She’s doing exactly what I told myself I’d ask her to do this morning, call up her dad and let him know she’s okay.
At least, that’s what I told myself earlier.
What I really did was get up and bury myself in work so I didn’t even have to think about it for a few hours, so I wouldn’t have to even consider the moment she speaks to her dad and have him tell her to come home.
I wanted to talk things through with Rachel once she got up after we’d had some breakfast.
Nothing’s set in stone but I wanted to ask her to stay here with me, just for a while. See if I couldn’t make her see how much better her life could be if she stayed here, just the three of us.
Her, Valentine, and me.
But I can see the questions in her misty eyes, the tone in her voice when it’s clear her old man’s telling her he got a call last night.
I didn’t say anything, but he must think it was her.
Now Rachel’s gonna want to know and I can’t lie to her. I’ll always tell the truth where Rachel’s concerned.
I just wish I’d had a few more hours to bring it all up in a better way. Tell her everything about her dad and me too.
Trying to act natural, I pour Rachel a coffee and put a sweet roll on a little plate for her, setting them both next to her while she sits at my desk.
I move to leave again, give her some privacy for her call but she waves me to stay with her hand.
Valentine wakes up and stretches out his front legs, his tail shooting up in the air as he gives me another one of his looks which I ignore.
Turning to my work, I sip my coffee, pretending to focus on superstructure mathematics instead of what I can hear Rachel talking about just a few feet away.
Plus side is, her dad’s not shouting.
The downside is she’s telling him she’ll be home soon.
I feel my hand ball into a fist at the thought of her leaving, and force myself to move back from my work so I don’t damage it.
“I’m just at a friend’s dad… Yes, I do… I’ll be home as soon as I can… I know, I know…”
It’s like a hot knife in my belly. Thinking about her being so calm about leaving, so carefree about just walking away.
I can’t even hear the rest of what she says and the memory of anything I told myself I owe her father dies in a second too.
I feel stupid like I should have spelled out just how I feel a lot sooner.
Maybe it’s too late now. Maybe she’s had time to rethink it and doesn’t want an older guy after all.
A million things spin around in my head until I can’t even see straight anymore, let alone think.
Her hand on my shoulder breaks my mood, reminds me just how good she feels against me.
I turn in my seat, and seeing the tears in her eyes I want to hold her, but her question holds me back.
“Did you call my dad last night?” she asks plainly.
I take a breath in but can’t answer. If I tell her one part, I have to explain everything.
If she’s leaving, won’t it just make it harder for both of us by bringing her dad into this?
“Well, did you?” she asks again.
I can’t lie if she asks me a direct question though, and I feel my head nodding slowly.
I reach out for her hand, but she pulls it away.
“What is it with you and hanging up on my dad, Conor? What’s really going on here?” she asks, sounding more hurt than anything.
More hurt than I ever want to see her feel.
