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What am I supposed to say? That yeah, I know her dad from way back. That he blames my success on me stealing it all from him.
Should I explain how her dad even tried to sue me for ten million dollars once he found out I’d made my first million without him?
Accused me of stealing his ideas from that college presentation and basing my whole design career on them.
The only thing that stopped him was another college buddy, explaining to him calmly that he had no case and any litigation would only ruin him and make him look even more foolish than he was already acting.
I can’t tell her any of that. Not in that way.
It would hurt her even more than any lie I could tell. Make it sound like I was trying to paint her dad as crazy so she’d choose me over him.
“Just stay awhile, Rachel. I’ll explain everything in time but I just want you here right now,” I tell her, knowing already it won’t be enough.
“I can’t just stay here forever, Conor,” she reminds me. “I told you, my dad and I are moving. Tomorrow! I can’t just throw all that away because you want to…”
Her voice breaks off and we both know it’s not just me who wants it.
Not just me who wants her to stay.
“I just can’t,” she says finally, her lower lip trembling as she wraps herself in that blanket and swishes out of my office.
Valentine whines and wants to follow her, but I give him a firm look to stay.
I can hear her going down to the kitchen, finding her clothes I folded from the dryer, next to her boots and jacket.
I didn’t do that so she would leave.
I laid her clothes out so she could get dressed once we’d had breakfast.
Once we’d…?
Once we’d… I don’t even know anymore.
It’s like hearing her dad has broken a spell or something like she doesn’t seem like she even wants me anymore.
Maybe I’m just not supposed to find happiness. Seems everything I try just blows up in my face.
I sit stunned for a while, patting Valentine once he rests his own worried look against my knee.
“It’s alright boy,” I tell him, stroking his fur and squeezing his ear.
But it’s not alright.
I can hear her voice a few minutes later, on the phone in the kitchen, dialing a cab.
The address is no secret, my cards are all over the place with all my details on them.
She’s not going anywhere. You can’t just let her walk out like this.
Meeting her halfway down the hall once she’s hung up, I tell her so.
“You can’t just leave, Rachel,” I try to reason, without actually giving one.
“I’m sorry, Conor. I really am,” she sniffs, holding back tears. “But I can’t just abandon my dad, not ever go home again just because we-”
She moves to get past me and I put myself between her and the front door.
“Rachel, please. Let’s just calm down and talk about this, alright?”
“You can’t make me stay, I’m going home now, Conor,” she says loudly, her voice rising at the end. Telling me, not asking me to get out of her way.
I move to one side.
I can’t make her stay, can’t seem to do anything to persuade her right now.
I can smell her hair as she brushes past me, feel the warmth from her body as it passes close to mine.
“I… Rachel, I...” I stammer, trying to say it. Trying to tell her.
She turns to face me, her eyes flashing as she shakes her head. There’s the honk outside from her cab and I take a couple of steps towards her, my hand out for her to take.
“Don’t,” she whispers. “Just. Don’t.”
It’s all over in a flash, the light from outside throwing a huge bright triangle down the hallway before she pulls the door shut.
Leaving me standing there alone, in the cold she’s let in.
In the cold, she’s left behind.
Valentine trots to the door, whining and looking back at me.
Once he hears the cab pulling away he lets out a bark that echoes through the whole house.
I take a deep breath, feeling my hands shake and my legs go weak as it all sinks in.
I sit down again, holding my head in my hands, and wait for a thought to come.
An idea or reason for things being the way they are all of a sudden.
“She’ll come back, V. I know she will. She has to.” It’s all I can say after a while.
But Valentine’s not by my side like he usually would be, he’s parked himself by the front door, his chin on his paws and his ears up, listening and waiting for Rachel to come back.
Chapter Thirteen
Rachel
What am I doing?
The same question I asked myself half of yesterday is replaying all over again in my mind.
