AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Rowan picked up her coffee mug and took a deep gulp. ‘So I’m asking again,’ she continued doggedly. ‘In this case, given what I’ve told you, do you think I have abandonment issues?’
‘Yes. You developed them as a child and for a time you let them rule you. But you’re not a child now.’
‘I sent him away.’
‘So get him back.’
‘I suggested he stay away.’
‘Can a person not admit that they were wrong?’
‘Was I wrong?’
‘Rowan. I’m not all-knowing and all-seeing, no matter how wise I like to think I am. Only you can answer that one.’
Jared hadn’t given up. He never gave up when he wanted something badly enough. He figured it would come as no surprise to the director that he would give her a couple of days to cool off and then he’d be back. With food that might tempt her to stop and take a bite. With another apology—a bigger one—and an explanation if she wanted it. With promises if she wanted those, and every intention of keeping them.
He kept his word.
She saw him the minute she walked away from the ASIS building at nine p.m. Hard not to, given that he was standing there leaning against his car. She’d agreed to give him five minutes of her time. Or Sam had agreed on Rowan’s behalf. Either way, she headed towards him without hesitation.
‘I probably have half an hour left in me before my brain gives up in exhaustion,’ she said quietly. ‘Would you like to join me at the Marble Bar?’
It was a white-collar work haunt, connected to an international hotel chain, and it was just around the corner. The booths were private and the lights were low. They could have a relatively private conversation there—of a sort.
‘Sure.’
He opened the car door for her, wanting nothing more than to gather her up, wrap his arms around her and bury his head in the curve of her neck and stay there until she softened. Her body would remember him. He could coax capitulation from her, he was sure.
Instead he kept his manners in place and tried to ignore the silent simmer between them as they made their way to the bar and found a booth and placed their drinks order. Decaf coffee for them both. He added a couple of side dishes for good measure. Lamb pieces in a yoghurt sauce. Rice balls.
‘I made a promise,’ he began. ‘To a seven-year-old. When the world around us was burning I promised that I would look out for him and I have. I will continue to look out for him from afar. I’d rather you didn’t ask, but if you do I will tell you everything.’
‘I’m not asking.’ She held his gaze. ‘The case is closed.’
‘Which kind of just leaves the promises I want to make to you going forward.’
He watched as tears gathered in her eyes and threatened to fall. She looked utterly miserable, and so far away from him in that moment that she broke his heart.
‘Don’t cry. Don’t. I can’t stand it.’
‘Talk,’ she said raggedly. ‘I’m listening now. I wasn’t the last time I saw you.’
Where to start?
‘I should have told you I was heading off and wouldn’t be in contact for a while. I thought the less you knew of my movements last week the better, but clearly that isn’t going to work for us.’
‘I used to wake up all the time when I was small. New country, big house with staff, and my parents would be gone. No one ever told me anything. I used to feel so invisible. I still react badly to feeling invisible.’
‘I have never thought of you as invisible. I walk into a room and you’re the one I look for. As for those bodies that the Dutch claim exist … That was never part of my plan. I knew you’d be wondering what had gone on with the boy and I thought to protect you by telling you nothing. I knew you were looking for me and I still didn’t call. I would have called had I known what I know now. If ever there’s a next time, I will call. There can be ground rules. Never leave without saying goodbye. Never stay away without getting in touch. Never let you think that I don’t love you. Because I love you so much.’
He’d always thought that those simple little words of love would be hard for him to say.
They weren’t.
‘I love you.’
‘You do?’ She curled her hand around her coffee cup and wouldn’t look at him. ‘You could have anyone.’
‘Good—because I choose you.’
‘Someone beautiful.’
‘You are beautiful. And don’t say I could have someone young, who’d want to give me a family. I know what I want. From the moment I saw you that was me gone. Please, Rowan. Give me another chance.’
