I feel quite the opposite.
Dear Diary,
I was molested when I was sixteen.Molested.That’s a legal, cold term for something ugly and dark.Don’t worry.I took care of him.Had a nice cup of tea.He had tea, too…
The right cup of tea can always make things better in this world.
Dear Diary,
Men lie.They make promises.They don’t keep those promises.I hate when people lie to me.Disappointment—again and again.Did I tell you that John hit me?Me?Not a slap.A hit with his fist.I smiled at him after he hit me, and I prepared him a very nice cup of tea.Not my mother’s sweet tea.My blend.My fancy tea in my grandmother’s teapot.
He drank every drop.
But I just don’t think that tea sat well with him.
He shouldn’t have hit me.
Dear Diary,
I never put dates in you.Should I be doing that?Time just slips past so quickly.The years flow.You blink, and time is gone.
I’m married now.Found a man who treats me well.So well.Like a princess.I should love him.He does everything right.And yet…
Why don’t I love him?I will try.I will try very, very hard to love Dustin Gallo.
I will try.
Dear Diary,
I’ve had a baby.A little girl with eyes just like mine.Dustin—he adores her.Loves her more than I think he loves me.I suspect…Dustin may know that I don’t return his affections.That I’ve just been faking.I…
My daughter is named Lily.Lily Oleander.She has never been used by a man.Never been lied to.Deceived.Molested.Oh, that dreaded word.She has never had the world abuse her, and she never will.
I don’t love my husband.I tried, but I can’t.I can’t force a feeling that just isn’t there.And yet…
Yet when I look at my Lily…
I do feel something stir inside of me.
Is this love?
Dear Diary,
Dustin is dead.He was screwing his secretary.Told me that he wanted a divorce.I offered him a nice cup of tea.Important discussions are always conducted best with a cup of tea.
Lily is sad.So quiet.She loved him.He loved her.I feel…
Never mind.What’s done is done.Can’t change the past.Can only go forward.Besides, it’s not like Lily knows.Who would know?It will be better with just the two of us.Lily is so smart.What a sharp mind.And I think she looks like me…
Maybe when she grows up, she will be just like me.
Or…maybe she will be better.I hope…
I hope she will be.
Be better, my Lily.Please.
Dear Diary,
