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“I CAN’T BELIEVE you’re actually going to go through with this,” Kristen said on a laugh that clearly showed how much of a mistake she thought this was.
“You’re doing it with me.”
“Oh no. No way.” She pointed in the direction of the hallway leading to the rooms, and said, “There is no way in hell I am letting one of those ladies get anywhere near my vagina.”
“Kristen!” I begged.
“You are making a huge mistake, I’m not about to make one with you.”
My expression fell. “How is this a mistake? I need to do something, I’ve never . . .” I trailed off and gestured toward the area. “I’ve never taken that much care of it. I’m not about to have another weekend with Eli with a briar patch down there.”
Kristen’s sudden laugh was so loud that the receptionist jumped and looked over to us. “Is it really that bad?” she asked between her hysterics.
My lips twitched into a smile, and I admitted, “Okay, not that bad. It’s somewhere between bush and jungle though. It needs help.”
“I will be in there to support you and hold your hand, but you are out of your fucking mind if you think I’ll be spreading my legs too.”
“Language,” I reminded her, and got an eye roll.
“You ready?” one of the workers asked as she and another uniformed woman walked toward us from the hall.
“Yep!” I said excitedly, and towed Kristen with me down the hall and into the room.
“You need two of them?” Kristen asked softly, but I didn’t respond. It was all I could do to keep from laughing.
“Just remove everything below the waist, and we’ll be back in a few minutes,” the same woman said once we were inside.
Once she shut the door, Kristen was looking at me and pointing. “Why are there two table thingies?”
“Because you’re doing this with me! I told you!”
“No I am not!”
“Kristen!” I complained.
“You are insane, Paisley! Eli won’t even care if you have your fucking briar patch or nothing at all.”
“Language,” I muttered as she continued.
“There is literally not one thing that could make this kind of experience worth it. There will be no difference for you either way.”
“How do you know? You’ve never done it before!” I reminded her.
“I don’t care. I don’t need to! I have enough of an imagination to know that it would be pointless.”
“Just do it with me this once—”
“No.”
“—and if I’m wrong, and there’s no difference, I’ll pay for a spa day for you.”
Kristen eyed me for a second. “Three spa days.”
“Two,” I negotiated.
After another few moments, Kristen grabbed at her jeans and started unbuttoning them. “I am going to enjoy those two days, and I’ll love them even more because you will have paid for them.”
I laughed as I stripped down as well. Once I had everything placed off to the side and was hopping up onto the table, I looked back at my friend. “If I’m right and there’s a difference after this, then you owe me.”
