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She blinked before meeting my gaze, the action slow, like it was taking all her strength. “I don’t know what happened,” she said honestly. “I was standing there about to get water. I could hear you talking in the other room, and then everything went dark and it was so loud. Then suddenly you were there.”
True.
Every word.
“Has this ever happened before?”
Her head tilted as though she was about to start shaking it, but then she paused. “Yes,” she whispered. “A long time ago.” She swallowed, then dropped her head like she was ashamed. “But I passed out for nearly an hour that time.”
“Jesus, Elle.”
The corners of her mouth curved up before falling, the first sign of life on her beautiful face. “Progress, I guess.”
Pressing my knuckles under her chin, I lifted her head to look into her eyes. “Not funny,” I told her as I pushed up her slipping glasses.
She swatted at my hand, another hint of a grin flashing across her face. “No, it’s not.” She dragged her fingers through her long hair as she sucked in a deep breath, then released it. “Dare, I have to go.”
“Are you kidding? You just—I don’t even know how to describe what happened to you. You’ve been a zombie for the last hour. I’m not letting you go.”
“I need to go before this gets worse. And I promise you it is going to get worse.”
“Then stay,” I urged. “Let me take care of you.”
“Remember what I said?” she asked, her voice calm and eyes filled with sadness. “If I don’t go soon, I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to get back to you.” She slid her hands into my hair, then let her fingers slowly drag down until they were intertwined around the back of my neck. “Let me go so I can come back to you.”
“Do you have any idea how frustrating you are?” I asked as I gripped her waist, pulling her closer to me. “If you never left, you wouldn’t have to worry about when you’d be able to come back. I wouldn’t have to wander through the dark, waiting for you to light up the night. You’d already be here.”
She sat up, crushing her mouth to mine. “Until the very end.”
Before I could try to stop her, she was slipping out of my arms and off the bed.
“Let me do what has to be done, Dare,” she begged when I started to follow her. “I would’ve stayed that first night if things were different. I hate that they’re not. I hate that I can’t change them. And I hate that I put you in a position where you only know so much. But let what you do know be enough, because that’s all I can give you.”
Once she was in her own clothes and had her purse slung over her shoulder, she took a step toward the door, but stopped, rocking back on her heels.
Turning toward where I stood with my arms crossed over my chest so I wouldn’t reach for her and keep her with me, she walked up to me and leaned up on her toes to whisper in my ear, “It shreds my soul walking away from you.”
I love you. Stay.
The words were there, begging to be freed, but the fear of what would happen to her kept them choked back like a rock in my throat.
I watched her go, my jaw ticking and muscles twitching as she did.
She got a foot from the door before I ate up the distance and grabbed her, turning and pressing her against the wall to claim her mouth one last time.
Her body immediately relaxed beneath mine, her hands gripping at my shirt to pull me closer. I teased the seam of her lips, begging entrance and groaning when she opened for me.
My fingers curled against the wall, wanting to grab her and pull her back to the bed, but knowing I couldn’t keep her there forever.
A whimper scraped up her throat when I nipped at her lip, and I knew I was seconds from forgetting what she needed.
“Five seconds before I remind you why you shouldn’t go,” I warned, leaning back just enough to give her space to get away.
Her chest moved roughly with her heavy breaths as she looked up at me with indecision in her eyes. But just before I grabbed her and hauled her back to bed, she kissed the tattoo on my bicep, then ducked from under my arm to slip out of the room.
I’d made it three houses away when a familiar car rolled to a stop next to me.
I wanted to hit and scream at him.
