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I wanted to run far from him and his accusing stare.
Knowing he would continue to follow me and needing the relief from my stinging feet, I jerked open his car door and slid inside to face a seething Beck.
“Drive,” I demanded as I slammed the door behind me.
“Tell me—”
“Drive so they don’t see us!”
“What?” he shouted. “Worried about your boyfriend seeing you with me? You and I are a team, Lil. I’m your best fucking friend. We’re on the same goddamn side, if you’ve forgotten.”
“If I’ve forgotten? Beck! You were just in a meeting with the enemy, and I want to know why and how long this has been going on.” Smacking my hand against the dashboard, I yelled, “Drive.”
He thankfully pulled away from the curb, but hadn’t let more than a few seconds pass before turning on me. “You wanna explain what the fuck I walked in on?”
“Me?” I shouted. “What the hell did I just hear? You and Kieran are—”
“No. Fuck no, Lil. Not only—” He let loose an inhuman growl, ripping a hand through his hair. “Not only did I just catch you in your little getup,” he said, gesturing to me. “You were looking like this off property. At a Borello’s house. But not just any Borello’s house. The main Borello house. In nothing but Demitri Fuckin’ Borello’s goddamn shirt. And he called you baby. Now considering the facts that you’re supposed to be all cozy at home and engaged to my other best friend, you better start explaining.”
I was seeing red. Yet at the same time, I felt like I did the first time my mom walked in to find Keiran in my room when we were teenagers.
“After everything I’ve found out recently—”
“You first,” he bellowed, his voice thundering in the small space.
Instead of shrinking into the seat, I turned, putting my back against the door so I could face him. “I don’t know what you expect. I’ve been trapped on Holloway my entire life. I got why. I did. But after Aric’s death, that place suddenly became a prison and I was treated like a prisoner. I was being suffocated by all of you. I got in trouble if I went to the main house without getting permission, Beck.”
“It was to protect you,” he roared in response, the car jerking with his rage.
“Fuck protecting me. I can protect myself. If only Kieran woul
d understand that. If only Kieran were ever around. But he isn’t. He hasn’t been for four years. He didn’t just take Aric’s place, Beck, he left me. He broke our promises. He’s been destroying our relationship and my heart a little bit at a time while I scrambled to put it back together each time he left. And I’m so tired of trying to keep us together when he doesn’t care.”
“You think he doesn’t care? You think he isn’t doing all of this bullshit for you?”
“Oh my God,” I said with a frustrated laugh. “Stop with that. None of this is for me. That is the biggest punch to the gut to say any of his work is for me. And then to find out that you’re also working with the Borellos? The people you’ve been working so hard to hide me from?”
“Clearly we’ve been doing a hell of a job seeing as you’re fucking the deadliest one.”
Air burst from my chest, my shoulders sagging in response.
He suddenly jerked the car to the right and hit the brakes, slamming his hands against the steering wheel once we were stopped. After a few ragged breaths, he turned to look at me. “How long has this been going on?”
I leaned my head against the seat, suddenly weary. “There’s not one real answer to that.”
With a steadying breath, I told Beck about Teagan finding me. About our Mondays at Brooks Street Café and Dare’s notes. About the street fair and everything after, skipping the intimate details.
When I was done, he was leaning back in his seat. One arm folded over his chest, the other draped over his head. Instead of the intense glare he’d been sporting earlier, his expression was wavering somewhere between worry and anger. “Jesus fuck, Lil. I . . . shit, I don’t even know where to begin.”
I scoffed. “How about when you started working with the Borellos?”
“I can’t. It’s not my story to tell.” He lowered the arm from his head and looked at me helplessly. “I’ve been telling you—Kieran’s been telling you—everything he has been doing for the last four years has been for you. You just wouldn’t listen because you were too upset.”
“Upset? Beck. He left—”
“I know, Lil. I know. But it’s Kieran. He doesn’t even know that shaking hands is the right way to say hello. Or that it’s polite to say thank you or you’re welcome, or goodbye when you walk away from a conversation. Kieran’s focus is you, and he was trained to put his all into his job. And he’s doing this job for you. So, in his mind, he’s doing the right thing. The Borellos . . . again, it’s not my story. But, Teagan . . . Lil, I gotta tell you.”
“Tell me what?” I insisted when he didn’t continue.
