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“Maybe because I’m right,” she said against my lips.
Maybe there was something inside her that called to me.
That darkness buried deep inside both of us that reacted to the other’s. Challenged and withdrew. That overpowering connection that made me feel closer to her than anyone before.
I edged back, my eyes searching hers.
And I wondered if she was right.
If this unpredictable girl had been made for me.
But it was too soon. It hadn’t even been a week since I met her. I was still trying to sort through the chaos she’d created inside me.
She was my every weakness and everything I hated.
My need to devour her was just as strong as my need to reveal what she was hiding.
And I needed to complete this list. But letting her go?
“It doesn’t change anything.” When hurt flashed through her eyes, I pressed my forehead to hers. “I’m living and breathing for me, Jessica, but this is something I have to do. But I have an indescribable need to keep you near me.”
“Why? Afraid your wallet will go missing again?”
The corner of my mouth twitched before falling. “Because your chaos calms me and frustrates me. And I crave it.”
Her lips parted with her exhale. Her hands fisted in my shirt, but didn’t push me away or pull me closer.
“If I left, would you come with me?”
She kept her grip firm, but moved her head away from mine in an attempt to stare me down. Her voice still wavered when she asked, “If we left, would you come back?”
I nodded. “Tomorrow and the next day. I have a job.”
Her shoulders sagged, and her hands fell from my shirt.
After a longing look, she pushed against my arm until I dropped it and left without another word.
Let her go.
I hadn’t realized she’d been caged in my arms until she disappeared into the crowd.
No darkness.
Just us.
“What if I was made for you and you were made for me?”
I hurried after her, weaving through the packed bodies and out the door seconds after her.
I gripped her arm to pull her back toward the building before she could cross the street, my tone sharp when I said, “You knew who I was. You knew what I was. You’re going to say all the shit you did in there and then pull something like that because you’re reminded of who I am?”
Like Lily would’ve . . .
Always holding the job over me.
“Of course, I know what you are,” she said through gritted teeth. “I’ve known longer than I’ve known you. But I know you now. And you told me that you never wanted to be used for anything, and you’re still letting them control you and use you.”
“It’s who I am.” I released her arm and took a step away. “Just because I don’t want to be this doesn’t mean I’m not this. Don’t hold it over me. Don’t make what I do be what ends this.”
