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And for the first time since she was in my bed, I fall asleep… but dream of nothing but being more than friends with Cece Willimson.
20
Cece
“Look what the cat dragged home.” I give Mia a knowing smirk when she comes home from Talon’s super early the next morning. The girls aren’t even up yet, but I’ve started breakfast.
After she sets down her bag, she follows me into the kitchen from where I peeked out to see her in the foyer, and she takes a seat on one of the stools, accepting the cup of coffee I pass her.
“I should have called you last night to tell you that I was staying out, but honestly, I passed out and—”
“I’m sorry,” I cut her off, looking down at myself. “Did I suddenly become your mother that you need to check in with?” I ask, and she rolls her eyes. “Mia, you’re a grown woman. You don’t have to check in with me, and it’s not like I didn’t know where you were or who you were with.” I turn toward the stove, where I have bacon sizzling in a skillet. “So I’m guessing, since you’ve stayed with him two nights in a row, things are getting serious?”
She takes a moment to respond, but then she asks, “Is it weird I want to say yes?”
“Why would it be weird?” I prompt, looking at her over my shoulder. “If it’s how you feel, it’s how you feel.” My heart zings for her. This is a big deal for my sister. Such a big deal.
“I don’t know.” She shrugs. “I haven’t known him long.”
“How long do you think you need to know someone before you know them?”
“I don’t know. A while.” She shrugs again.
A bit of bitterness creeps into my voice, but not aimed at her. “Mia, you can think you know someone and not have a clue who they are. Do you think I ever in my wildest dreams thought Mike would cheat or start dating someone else before we’ve even signed divorce papers?”
She frowns. “What do you mean?”
“About what?” I ask, confused by her confusion.
“Mike’s dating? Like really dating? I mean, I knew he had that woman over last weekend, but I didn’t know he had a girlfriend.”
I need to update her on what he told me Saturday evening in his texts.
“He’s in love.” I roll my eyes as I take the bacon out of the pan, placing it on a paper towel. “Tammy was over again yesterday for lunch with the girls. Ruby is obsessed with her, because she likes the same games she does, and Kate thinks she’s pretty.” I relay everything the girls told me last night when they got home.
“And Lola?” she prompts, watching my expression closely.
“Lola is having a hard time with all this, but she’s also my girl who has rooted for every Disney princess to find her Prince Charming. She’ll be okay.” I say it for myself as much as for her. I spent an hour with Lola alone last night and let her show me at least ten different music videos from those BTS boys. I had to admit, they’re way more talented than I originally gave them credit for. And the boost in mood they gave her, after she got back home seeming tense and uneasy, was incredible. It was like they were almost… therapeutic to her. I guess there is such a thing as music therapy after all.
“And are you okay about him dating and having someone around the girls?” she asks, and I lean down to rest my elbows on the counter.
“I’m not exactly okay with him having a woman around my girls, but we talked about it, and he assured me they aren’t alone with her and that if it wasn’t serious, he wouldn’t have her around them. I don’t want to make things harder for the girls by getting ugly or petty. They’re dealing with enough. They don’t need to see or hear their dad and me fight. Truthfully, I’m just trying to focus on my future and happiness.”
She watches me for a minute, then she asks quietly, “Is Winston going to be a part of the future happiness?”
“No,” I reply, my voice firm. I’ll give him his chance to be my friend, but I know in my heart it will be impossible for us to be platonic, when it’s clear we both have overwhelming feelings for each other. It’s not going to last long, this “friendship.” And then we’re going to have to cut everything off, whether that means I have to find a new job or… I don’t know what else.
“Yesterday seemed pretty intense,” she points out.
I lick my lips then close my eyes. It’s time I tell Mia what happened. I’m sick of carrying around this burden, and I could really use her help to stay strong when it comes to fighting my feelings for a married man. “Before I knew he was married, Winston and I hooked up. I… I don’t even know how it happened, but it did, and it was amazing. He’s amazing.” I open my eyes and give her a sad smile, remembering how… complete I felt for the first time in my life when his lips were on mine, when he made me come without even taking any of my clothes off. I can only imagine what it would’ve been like to actually make love to him. “But he’s not for me. I can’t…. I won’t be with someone who is married to someone else, and he’s not going to divorce his wife anytime soon, so it doesn’t matter how much I like him or how much he likes me. It’s never going to work.”
