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My breath hitched. There wasn’t enough air. Panic tightened my ribs.
Jake’s eyes snapped to me, sharp with adrenaline. “Liv. Livi, breathe.”
I dragged in air, tugged off my bandana, hinged as my vision dimmed.
Jake grabbed me and ran for the barn.
“You’re all right,” he said with a calm certainty. “I’ve got you. Everybody’s safe, and so are you. Okay? Hold your breath.”
I tried.
“That’s it. Hold it again.”
I tried harder.
“Good girl,” he panted.
A whistle split his lips, and I heard a truck slide to a stop. He set me down in the bed and climbed in after me, pulling me into his lap as we took off.
“I …” I gasped. “I’m sorry.”
I lay cradled in his arms, staring up at the vision of him cast against endless sky as we bumped and bounded toward the big house. A smile tugged at his lips.
“Are you apologizing for having a panic attack?”
I chuckled and closed my eyes, nuzzling against his chest. “I stopped too,” I rasped, my throat raw from smoke. “Like the calves. I just stopped.”
“If you’d come in after me, I would have yelled at you like you have never been yelled at before, Olivia.”
“I thought you … I didn’t know if you’d …”
His arms tightened. “I know. I shouldn’t have gone back, but I couldn’t leave them.”
My eyes were still closed, the smell of smoke in my nose because it was all over him. “In a few hours when I can breathe, we’re gonna talk about how you just ran out of a fire with a baby cow in your arms. Shirtless.”
A raspy laugh rumbled out of him, and he kissed the top of my head. “You’re not making a calendar out of me. I don’t care how much you beg.”
“But you rescued a baby cow. I don’t know how you can turn your back on the millions we’d make.” A dry cough shook me so hard, I couldn’t say anything else.
“Don’t talk. You can convince me later.”
I leaned into him. “Don’t ever do that again.”
And he held me closer, saying soberly, “I won’t.”
22
The Winding Path
JAKE
The day went by in a blur.
When we reached the house, I deposited Olivia into one of two ambulances, staying with her while they checked her out, though they insisted on looking me over too. Other than being scuffed up, I was fine, as was she. She’d caught her breath, settled down.
Scared the shit out of me.
Wasn’t hard in the moment. I’d been razor sharp and looking for danger to throw myself into.
When the EMTs released us, we hopped back in the truck and headed for the barn where we’d put the cattle.
It smelled of smoke and fear. The herd was wide-eyed and jittery, snuffing and braying and in constant motion. One of the guys had the good sense to leave a tractor running outside the barn, blotting out the noise in the hopes we could get them calmed down. One of our girls, Pinky, sat on a post, singing Led Zeppelin at the top of her lungs with a hose in her hand, spraying a fine mist on the stock. The herd was dotted with snouts up and long tongues extended to taste. Miguel watched them, making notes on a clipboard, waiting for them to calm down before venturing in.
We’d only lost the one calf—a miracle—a hayfield, and a pasture. The patch of land was a smoldering blight, a mark we wouldn’t erase for some time. We’d lost months’ worth of hay. But the truth was, it could have been much, much worse.
Flashes of the fire shot through my mind without warning. The smoke stinging my eyes, filling my nose and mouth. The crackle and roar of flames, the scream of the heifer I couldn’t save. And I was thankful for Olivia at my side. For the unexpected moments when she’d slip her arms around my waist and hang on to me, tethering me to the present. But we operated as a team, the two of us rolling through the farm, taking stock of everything to make sure we had the whole picture.
We checked our grain and hay stores. Rounded up the farmhands and hauled them back to the big house. Kit stress-made a thousand sandwiches and made it her life’s work to feed every mouth on the property. We brought out tanks of fresh water, made sure everyone was all right. I watched Olivia make her way through the haggard pack of farmhands and their loved ones with tender care, hugging them and handing the guys wet towels, making sure they had something to drink. I called in the other half of our crew—the livestock still needed tending to—and after a good long while, we watched the last of those who had weathered the day head home.
It was dusk by the time Olivia and I had done all we could. I tucked her into my side as we walked toward the big house in an exhausted, drawn silence. We hadn’t left each other’s sight since she’d found me at the fire.
