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They start talking again, and I lift my phone from my pocket and try calling her. It goes straight to voicemail. I leave a frustrated message asking her where she is and to call me back, then I walk across the ballroom, checking every corner in case she’s in there somewhere.
It takes ten long minutes of scanning every hallway and room before I find her upstairs, in the library of all places, standing with her back to me, staring out of the window at the dark, moonlit ocean.
Relief slams into me. For a second I don’t move, don’t speak. I just watch her, the soft glow of the moon painting her curls a deep red, her skin pale and luminous against the glass. Mine, yet a million miles away.
The voice in my head won’t shut up. She’s too good. Too young. Too damn innocent for me.
And still, I move toward her. Because I’ve never been the kind of man who does the right thing. “Eden?”
Her shoulders tense at the sound of my voice. It takes her a long minute to turn around, and when she does I almost wish she hadn’t.
Her eyes are red. Her mascara has run, leaving smudges of black on her cheeks. My annoyance is replaced by pure fury. Who made her cry? Who did this to her?
I’m going to kill Selena.
“What happened?” The way I say it, softly, like I’m talking to a wounded animal, makes her wince.
She shakes her head. “Nothing.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and fingers. “You’re upset. We talked about this. If you need to talk you should come to me.”
Eden swallows hard. “Ditto.”
“What?” I frown, not understanding.
“You promised you’d talk to me too. Stop hiding everything.”
I have no idea what she’s talking about, but I’d lay a bet Selena said something. “I’m not hiding.”
“No? Then why didn’t you tell me about Leona. About how she died. That you were the one who found her?” Her voice is low. “You toldher, but you never told me.”
“Selena has a big mouth.”
“Can you imagine how delighted she was that you hadn’t told your little wife, but you’d told her?” Her lips tremble.
I let out a low breath. “I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t important.”
“Not important?” she says, her voice cracking. “You were twelve, West. You found the woman you loved, the woman who was like your mother, dead. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I let out a breath, fear suddenly washing over me.
I can’t lose her. I can’t.
“Because I blamed myself.” There it is. “And I don’t want you to blame me too.”
I press my forehead against the cool wooden bookshelf next to me, my heart beating so fast I’m scared I’m on the verge of an attack. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be what you need. All I know is that the thought of losing you makes me want to tear the whole damn world apart.”
“West…” Her voice is quiet, broken. “You’re not losing me. I just want in. I want the truth, not lies that you think will protect me.”
I turn, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. “You want honesty? Here it is. I’m a coward. I hide the shit that broke me because I don’t want it touching you. You’re the only good thing I’ve ever had, and I swear to everything holy, Eden, if you walk away from me tonight, I won’t survive it.”
The silence between us is thick. I drop to my knees. Pride doesn’t matter anymore. Not if it means keeping her. My hands slide around her waist, my cheek pressed to her stomach as I look up at her. “Don’t leave me. Not when I’m finally yours.”
I can hear her breathing. Shallow and rapid. Can feel it against my cheek. Her hand flutters against my face, then strokes my hair. Like she’s trying to calm me. Her nails against my scalp feel like oxygen to my lungs. As if she’s pulling me back from the cliff edge I’ve spent my life balancing on.
I breathe her in, letting her comfort me, even though I’m the asshole who should be doing the comforting. “Tell me I haven’t lost you.”
Her breath catches, and her fingers tighten in my hair. “You haven’t,” she murmurs, but her voice trembles. “But if you keep shutting me out, if you keep locking away the pieces that made you who you are, then I can’t… I can’t be the only one bleeding here.”
