Page 136 of Keller

I breathe again.

She moves to my front, pressing the stethoscope to my chest. Her face remains neutral, giving nothing away. After a moment, she steps back.

"I'm going to palpate your abdomen. Let me know if anything hurts."

I lie back on the table. Her hands press gently against my lower stomach, moving in a slow pattern. The pressure is uncomfortable but not painful.

"Any tenderness here?"

"A little."

She makes a small sound of acknowledgment and helps me sit up.

"When was your last menstrual cycle?"

The question lands plainly. Clinically. I open my mouth to answer, and then I stop.

When was it?

I think back. The investigation was consuming everything. The nights with Keller. The breakup. Work. I track the weeks in my head, counting backward from today.

"Gosh, I don't even know. My periods are so light. Maybe six or seven weeks ago." The words come out steady.

Dr. Nevins's expression doesn't change. She picks up her tablet again.

"Are your cycles usually regular?"

"Stress throws them off, but I guess for the most part."

"Are you sexually active?"

I used to be.

"Yes."

"Birth control?"

"IUD."

She nods, typing. "IUDs are highly effective, but no method is perfect. Given your symptoms, I'd like to run some standard bloodwork and have you provide a urine sample. We'll check for infection, thyroid function, and a few other things. Then we can decide if we should do some imaging."

The phrase "a few other things" hangs in the air between us. I know what she is not saying directly. I don't have it in me to ask, so I go along.

"Okay."

"The lab is down the hall to the left. They'll draw blood first, then give you a cup for the sample. Results should be back within twenty-four to forty-eight hours."

I slide off the table. The paper crinkles one last time.

"Any questions?"

"Are you concerned? I mean, does this seem pretty routine, or?—?"

"Let's get the test results back first, before we start jumping to conclusions. If anything changes, call the office. We will regroup after I see what we're looking like. Okay? Try not to worry."

Try not to worry. Sure. Have you met me?

I walk to the lab with my shoulders straight and my mind carefully blank.